Did the WT Discourage Platonic Friendships Between Men & Women ?

by flipper 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • B_Deserter
    B_Deserter

    One thing the "never be alone" policy does is make things awkward right away. It prevents relationships starting slowly and naturally like they should, instead injecting the sex aspect into it from the beginning. It's basically forcing a couple to talk about sex on their first date, in a verbal way or not. The restriction places the unconscious idea into the woman that she is a sex fiend and this is why she can't be alone with this man. Obviously, that's not a thought most women relish, so it doesn't help her open up to anyone. That's why you have witness couples who talk to each other a few times and then BAM! all of the sudden they're dating (which is a code word for engaged among many witnesses). They end up married within a year of meeting each other. I've heard talks about how congregation members should really mind their own business when it comes to kingdom hall relationships, but it never actually happens. Nowadays, a relationship in the hall pretty much has to be kept secret from public knowledge in order for it to actually develop anything. Otherwise, all the sexually frustrated middle-aged and elderly women will be all over it, and eventually ruin everything.

  • minimus
    minimus

    But...that 85 year old woman might've wanted you. That elder gave you fine counsel.

  • seawolf
    seawolf

    Not just YES but HELL YES. This was always a sore spot when I was growing up. I felt like I was segregated away from women, except ones that were my mother's friends and 10 times my age. However, I will say that now I realize some of it was I was purposely being kept away from a lot of the young ladies since 1. I wasn't spiritual enough (although I was very well-liked) and 2. I was competition for the other guys. oh well, payback's a bitch sometimes. ;-)

  • Dagney
    Dagney

    Oh! I just remembered!

    I turned over a pretty amazing Bible Study over to a PO's wife in another congregation which was the territory where she lived. The study told me later that she had been going to the afternoon bookstudy in the house of a widowed elderly brother. She would get there early due to circumstances beyond her control. Eventually, somebody told this to the PO's wife and she was counseled to wait in her car from then on out. She was told it "didn't look good to the neighbors, they might talk and bring reproach on Jehovah's name."

    The student was sooooo confused and felt so bad that she called me to talk about it. She looked forward to that time every week to visit and chat with the brother, and how could anyone think anything was wrong...it was like 20 minutes every week, and shortly the whole group would be arriving anyway! I told her she was right, the neighbors didn't care, and most people didn't, but if she wanted to keep peace with her teacher, she should follow the direction. Now I wish I had told her to "ruuuuunnnnn."

    Ugh...these people I tell you...nasty and nosey.

  • tula
    tula

    If an emergency arose and a brother and sister were in a car together for field service, one should sit in the back.....just in case something COULD happen.

    This is the way we practiced for it..".in case"

    TMS version:

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere
    minimus wrote: Groups of teens should not go out together unless mature adults were present.

    Actually, I can do you better.

    There was a group of about 12 or 15 adults that wanted to go skiing over the 'December Holidays'. The trip was planned and paid for but almost cancelled because everyone was single. Some nimwit elder somewhere required that a married couple accompany us lest there be any hanky-panky. At 27 years of age, I was about the youngest of the group.

    Our trip was 'saved' when a couple agreed to come and be our chaperones. They were 19 and 20 years old and had been married for *maybe* 2 months. I thought it was stupid back then and even more rediculous now.

    -Aude.

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    Everything leads to Sex!..SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!..People who don`t go to the Kingdom hall are having Sex!..People who don`t go out in the service are having Sex!.....Your all probably having Sex Now!..And..Just post so you can catch your breath!!......................Laughing Mutley...OUTLAW

  • Open mind
    Open mind

    Dagney:

    how could anyone think anything was wrong...it was like 20 minutes every week,

    Dagney, all a good WT-trained, sex-starved widower needs is prolly 20 seconds! Just imagine what could happen in 20 minutes!!!

    OM

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    Aude: Now that is out of the Twilight Zone for sure!

    To this day I have NO female Witness friends (perhaps now it's for different reasons...). Starting about 14 there was no opportunity to meet girls unless interested in them for marriage. Since I never had the slightest interest in marrying a girl, from that point on I don't think I barely spoke to a Witness girl, with the exception of sisters of boyhood chums.

    I don't think I realized this before. I don't know any single Witness or former Witness women!

  • Dagney
    Dagney

    Dagney, all a good WT-trained, sex-starved widower needs is prolly 20 seconds! Just imagine what could happen in 20 minutes!!!

    OM

    LOL OM!

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