Why I like being a Jehovah's Witness

by TooBad TooSad 26 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • TooBad TooSad
    TooBad TooSad

    There are so many reasons why I like being a Jehovahs's Witness.

    1. We get to count time when we share our faith with nonbelievers or our young children.

    2. We don't have to go to college to get a good job as a janitor or a window washer.

    3. We get to celebrate the birth of a child but not the anniversary of the birth.

    4. We don't pass a collection plate at our meetings and we get to put in our wills that when

    we die that our house, CD's, jewelery, life insurance, and cash can go the the Watchtower Society

    so that our family doesn't have to worry about those things.

    5. We don't have to be with our families during the holidays to enjoy each other company and eat the

    cookies, turkey, ham, pies, and other such food.

    6. Because we are the only true Christians on earth, we do not have the problems that other churches

    have with broken up families, adultery, fornication, pedophiles, over drinking, and gossip.

    7. We don't have to worry about giving the poor and needy in our community food, clothing and

    shelter because we give them the Truth which will enable them to live forever in a paradise earth.

    8. We have God speaking to us thru the Faithful and Discreet Slave and thru the Watchtower.

    9. We will get to live in Paradise where there will be no cars, TV's, computors, radio's, theaters,

    washing machines, clothes dryers, refrigerators, stoves, airplanes. electric lights, or malls to buy or clothes.

    10. We get to go every year to a summer District Assemly vacation at the same city every year and have a picnic

    at our seats during the sessions and then stay at the fine hotels that we are told to go to.

    11. We know the true meaning of the words soon, near, very soon, very near, so close, just around

    the corner, shortly, and near future.

    12. We don't have to worry about getting old or having a retirement plan.

    Now I hope you can begin to understand why I like being a Jehovah's Witness.

    TooBad TooSad

  • watson
    watson

    Absolutely understand!

    Add to #11: "Rapidly Approaching."

  • Namaste
    Namaste

    All so true!

    But this one made me laugh out loud:

    11. We know the true meaning of the words soon, near, very soon, very near, so close, just around

    the corner, shortly, and near future

  • sspo
    sspo

    We are definetely blessed, aren't we? Who needs more in life when so much is provided for us.

    Thanks for the reminders

  • Satanus
    Satanus

    Don't have the stress of competing for high paying jobs.

    Don't have to try to figure what are the best long term investments.

    Don't have to plan for retirement, cuz the end will come before then.

    S

  • OUTLAW
    OUTLAW

    It`s Wonderful being a Jehovah`s Witness!.....You don`t need an education..So you`ll probably be doing this for the rest of your life..Window CleaningWindow Cleaning..Or..SweepingSweeping..And..CleaningCleaning..Because you have no other Qualifications for anything else................Then you get to go to endless meetings!..All Praise..For the rest of your miserable Life!!..............And..Coffin..BravoBravoBravo............The End...............Laughing Mutley...OUTLAW

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    too bad too sad - too funny!

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    The Whacky Race proceeds way past the intersection and Dastardly strikes again!! lol

  • Hiddenwindow
    Hiddenwindow

    Add a very sad note to #6: ...and when cases of pedophilia arise, the WT has the money to silence the victims.

  • cultswatter
    cultswatter

    Mutley.. Do something!!!

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