just remember its your day not theirs so dont let them do anything to spoil it,
hope you have a wonderful wedding
My Wedding is coming up going to invite parents and siblings what to do????
by zamora251978 41 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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primitivegenius
deliver it......... since you say its your culture....... and if they react like jacka$$es say well that is YOUR decision......... this will be an event they will be missing forever cause once its missed......... they will just be out of luck. you would love to have them there but you have done all you can to invite them and have a nice life.
fact is its your day of joy and the start of something wonderfull. enjoy it and let no naysayers bother you. if they dont come its their loss....... not yours
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Frequent_Fader_Miles
In my case, my mom almost didn't attend my wedding. She did want to, but was "threatened" by an elder (whom she had never even met) with the whole "taking away privileges" scenario. My dad was absolutely furious! In the end, her very own PO gave her the green light since I wasn't DF.
I made all the arrangements myself, and did all the planning. The only thing she had to do was show up and enjoy the day.
If I were you Zamora, I would still invite her. I would stress the fact that I'm doing so out of love, honor and respect for her as my mother. I would tell her that my preference is that she be there to celebrate this milestone with me, but should she choose not to attend, it will be a joyous day for me nonetheless.
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joanne_
Hi Zamora, wow this must be hard for you. I would suggest, be gracious and give them the invitation. The ball is in their court. How they react is something you cannot control. Your conscience will be clear. Enjoy your day. Stay close to the positive, loving people in your life and stay away from the negative....I wish you all the best!!!!
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Cc81
How did it go??!? i was thinking of you last night. Let us know!
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Alex Delta
Hi, my name is Alex and I truly am sorry you’re going through this experience. I hope you understand that the victim is not you but them. You might ask how they are the victim. Well if you look at it in the way how they are trapped by this fear of what they are taught, and what may happen to them by the society or by Jehovah at judgment day, hopefully you’ll approach this situation in a manner that they may not only see this fear they have but also not offend them at the same time. This is extremely hard to do for me at least because of so much pain that, that organization has put on me. Maybe by approaching them in a very loving manner as I’m sure you have before but in such a way that they will be haunted. They are human, and have feelings, suppressed feeling that they will think of. By you giving them this large loving approach at the same time letting them know how you will except there wishes, maybe if they can at least accept the photo’s or even better the video of your wedding. These are the way’s they try and use some of the largest moments of our lives to break us. Don’t think it’s not hurting them as much as it’s hurting you. They are psychologically being ripped from the inside. You truly must understand that this organization has a very large hold on them even if they are inactive they always have to look over there shoulders, they truly are victims.
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Layla33
If this would me I would not even invite them. I was married and I didn't invite my parents to the wedding because I didn't want the headache drama and stress. I had nice dinners with them afterwards, but even if I didn't, I wouldn't subject myself to that stress.
You see once I decided to live a different life, I was realistic about how people would feel and how they would react in the JW religion and I accepted it. I did not mentally torture myself over it, I gave myself permission to live a different life. Therefore, under no circumstances would I put myself in mental anguish over life's events that I know my family would not attend or take away my joy.
I wish you the best, but I truly believe you are going to have to accept how your family feels and then live your life with that in mind. Letting "their beliefs" torture how you live means you are giving up your control and relinquishing it to them.
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Hortensia
Hi Zamora, what happened when you delivered the invitation?
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reneeisorym
I had invitations returned ... I had my mom crying because she was going to miss it because I had to go and "leave Jehovah" ... But in the end I had the most beautiful day. My mom walked me down the aisle herself and gave me away! !! ..
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choosing life
I hope it goes well for you, but I agree that the watchtower holds people hostage in these situations. My son was Dfd when he got married. I was not supposed to attend according to the elders. At the last minute, I got dressed and went anyway. The smile on his face when he saw me there and the huge hug he gave me afterwards was worth any 'RISK' of losing favor with the smug, uncaring jws.
Do invite your parents sincerely and remind them it is really special for them to share this with you. I know that's putting yourself out there emotionally, but hopefully it will stir that natural love that is being stifled by the jws.
Best wishes and congratulations!
choosing life