As a young child, I was going to be the next Kareem Abdul- Jabbar, the next Conan the Barbarian, the next James Hetfield, or the next Rambo. In 8th grade our science teacher went around the room asking each student what he/she wanted to be. I boldly announced that I wanted to be a porn star. I got a paddling.
In 9th & 10th grade I was going to be a Marine Sniper. By the middle of my Junior year that had fizzled because my buddy who was going to go in with me found out that he couldn't be a Sniper due to the corrective lenses he wore. After I took the ASVAB test, the Navy recruiters came to my home to talk my father into letting me sign up for delayed entry (I was only 17). He wouldn't consent, saying that he didn't want to be a part of any decision I might later regret. THANK YOU, DAD! They were going to put me on a nuclear submarine, which at the time sounded cool but I later realized was a drag (underwater for up to 6 months at a time!!!). My senior year in HS I decided I was going to art college. I was going to specialize in metal sculpture. Being from a single parent family on a fixed (disability) income, I was assured full financial aid for at least the first year. That information proved incorrect, as on the third day of orientation I was booted for not having enough cash. The HOPE scholarship was not an option, since I graduated the year BEFORE it was started and as such, I was only eligible for certificate programs, not college degrees. The lady in the business office was in tears when I left. Then I did the stupidest thing in my entire life- I got married to my HS "sweetheart" who was a JW. Long story short, the result was NOT what I had in mind for my life!!!!
Who did you/do you want to be when you grew up?
by Crumpet 73 Replies latest jw experiences
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The Last Nephilim
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LoverOfTruth
I wanted to be a Veterinarian.
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5go
Growing up is overrated.
Nothing I couldn't be anything cool so why bother picking something.
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RollerDave
At that very early age when most are formulating dreams of what they want to be when they grow up based on popular fiction, TV, movies, so forth...
I just wanted to survive, and shut out the dreams.
As I emerged from that early hell, learned to deny, to suppress, I came more fully into the mindset of the adults in my world and learned that I was never going to HAVE to grow up in this wicked system.
So, for one reason or another, I never expected to grow up, there was no future and I gave it no thought. I slogged day to day trying to act normal, trying to suppress, trying to fit in with the most judgemental people on earth.
I failed, and was a 'bad boy' living a double life of crimes and misdemeanors, while hoping never to get caught.
And every milestone in age normally met by worldly people AKA 'normal people, caught me totally unprepared and by surprise.
At sixteen, no driver's ed or license, at eighteen, dropped out of school in the tenth grade, expected to pay my own bills so I had to get my first job, which I messed up royally at...
Remedial intervention, Job Corps, driver's license, GED, boiler operator's license, then straight back into the cult miasma of impending doom and no need for a future; only now I had a girlfriend and was living a different sort of double life....
Then marriage, eight years of an almost sexless marriage.... Then she rediscovered sex, but not with me, and I rediscovered the horror of my past and finally had to deal with it.
Twenties thrown away living hand to mouth, parasites on the public assistance...
Who had time to want to be anything when they grew up? Certainly not me!
Right around the time my wife stopped taking the pill and became uncharacteristically friendly when I was 22 and presented me with a child, I did manage to to want to be something.
All I wanted at that time was to be a good father.
Since I only got my shit together in my early thirties, I don't know if I have enough time to grow up to be anything, so I will content myself with being a good father, and making a difference for the better in as many lives as I can.
A springboard for Becky, and anyone else who needs help.
I just have to learn to help without taking on personal responsibility for these folks because that's no help to them or me.
I guess if I wanted to be something when I 'grow up' from here, I guess I want to grow up to be 99 years old so I can have every moment with Becky.
I never wanted to be anything when I grew up, I never knew it was an option.
RD