Wow, I can't believe I'm doing this....

by megawatt 48 Replies latest jw experiences

  • changeling
    changeling

    Welcome megawatt!

    The UN issue was my catalyst for change as well.

    I too was raised a witness. It's hard to realize that everything you've known as true really isn't.

    Hang in there, let it sink in. You and your wife will find your way soon enough.

    changeling

  • sspo
    sspo

    Welcome to the board and as time goes on you'll find out a lot more about the Watchtower being a cult

  • wildfell
    wildfell

    Hi megawatt, welcome to jwd.

    The more research you do, the more your head is going to spin as you learn the truth about 'the truth'. Speaking from personal experience, it may be a long and sometimes painful journey for you and your wife. The other posters have already given you great advice. I would just add one more thing - please be aware that your wife will go through this journey at her own pace. You and your wife may feel an assortment of emotions and some stress. It would be great if you could be each others soft place to fall.

    I wish you all the very best. Hang around jwd - I lurked here for a long time and it helped me a great deal. And one more thing . . . sleeping in on Saturday mornings is bloomin' marvelous!

  • megawatt
    megawatt

    ^LOL I stopped the door to door thing a long time ago, pretty much inactive for the last 3 to 5 years when it comes to field service. The wife has been going and always "stressed out" about not being up to par on monthly field service and meeting attendance. She now understands why my meeting attendance has been tapering off a bit and with just cause. Again, thanks for the words of encouragement!

  • llbh
    llbh

    Hi Megawatt welcome. My wife is still in and i hope though do not expect her to leave yet.

    Follow the stories of people here, it will help

    If you can go to an Apostfest i have been to one in London. you will meet like minded people

    Welcome too Wildfell

  • nomoreguilt
    nomoreguilt

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((megawatt)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

    WELCOME

    The Arc of Salvation continues to flounder...........

    NMG

  • Eyes Open
    Eyes Open

    megawatt,

    Hello there, and welcome. You sound like someone who is determined to do what is right, wherever that may take you, and that, Sir, is the most important part of your decision made. Everything else will come in time. Don't feel rushed, and stay true to yourself (even if that requires delicacy around others, including your wife, for the moment).

    If I may share a little of my experience which I think you might find helpful...

    When I had doubts, I decided I would keep my research to what the Watchtower Society claimed was its basis of teaching: the bible. That way, I would not be "deceived" by anyone who was wicked at heart and out to destroy what, to me, may have been the true religion by reading falsehoods on the internet. I used educational books written by scholars who had no need of mentioning a minority sect which goes by the name of Jehovah's Witnesses. It took me several months to do it, but I ended up with an incomparably greater understanding of the context in which certain biblical books were written and what the authors actually intended to convey.

    You seem to be approaching things from the "other" angle, by finding out just what those who claim to be God's only channel of communication to the world have been getting up to. Nothing wrong in that, of course. But I mention it because you say you are not 100% certain that what you are doing is right. That's only to be expected; years and years of being indoctrinated with the idea that anything that casts the Watchtower Society in a bad light will potentially lead to your thinking being warped, your faith lost, and your existence destroyed at the hands of our loving saviour, Jesus, and his 144,000 (or at least most of them, I forget the current teaching) "co-rulers" at Armageddon is bound to make you think twice.

    Well here's my advice. If you want to find out what's been going on in the organisation concerned over the last 130 years or so, then carry on finding out. But I think you may find it very helpful to also evaluate its claim that its teachings are bible-based in light of some real bible study, as basic knowledge of history and literature which is related to you by experts in their field, backed up by real references, can really ease the mind-squashing effects of partially believing that the Watchtower Society is the only route through which biblical truth is taught.

    You don't have to spend months and months on it like I did if you don't want to, and to get a brilliant overview by reading one book I recommend How to Read the Bible: History, Prophecy, Literature - Why Modern Readers Need to Know the Difference, and What It Means for Faith Today (Oxford University Press). The chapters can be read in any order (though I recommend the introduction first), and I think all who have been affected by the Watchtower Society will particularly appreciate chapters one, two and four (see the contents page in the Amazon search inside feature). It's light bulb moment stuff, and I can't recommend it highly enough.

    Also useful is the site apocalypse!

    About your wife and family/families: if, when you have come to a conclusion about this religion, you find you want to help them free themselves of the influence, do not be too abrupt and tread very, very lightly. Unfortunately, trying to convey what you've found and how you feel could more than likely cause trigger responses and send those mental barriers right up. I made that mistake. I just wanted to be honest, and let my family know what I felt. Now I wish I'd taken the long term approach.

    Helping others in the same situation requires allowing them to think for themselves. This could be done by asking them for help on a particular point, though you know full well there won't be a satisfactory answer. But getting them to consider one question at a time in order to "help" you can only help them. You would probably find asking them questions relating to the bible, which you'll find in the book I mentioned, with an apparent view to finding a solution less confrontational, and thus less damaging to your cause, than bringing up issues directly related to the Watchtower Society's less-than-holy behaviour.

    Finally, know that whatever happens, no one - absolutely no one - can take away from you who you are. Remember to show your wife you love her at all times, and don't rush her.

    Thinking of ya.

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    Welcome, MegaWatt.

    You've come to the right place to find people who have undergone the same struggle as you.

    When I found the Freeminds site with its information on how the Society felt about Black people, that was the turning point for me. I'd suspected all along that something didn't quite fit, but when I read their views in their own words, that was a Rubicon moment.

    Even though I have a child who is still in, I left and haven't looked back. The WTS does NOT speak for God - no matter how impressive their claims!

    I advise you to take your time and do the research. Be patient with your wife; shedding indoctrination can be a painful process. The very best to you and yours.

    Sylvia

  • wildfell
    wildfell

    megawatt - At least you wised up about field service earlier on. Good on you! I stopped door to door just on a year ago, but it still feels like a novelty to be a normal person and actually have a sleep-in on the weekend. No wonder I was so tired all the time.

    llbh - thanks for the welcome, I'm loving being here!

  • megawatt
    megawatt

    ^Great post, eyes open.

    It's definitely the approach I'm taking for sure, seeing how easily the wifey can get upset, knowing her family is little bit more on the extremist side when it comes to this subject. I do believe the indoctrination has a major role of me doubting what I'm doing is right, but it's something I'm overcoming day by day.

    My main concern is the wife, since most of her life revolves around the ORG, it's something I won't be expecting anytime soon for her to simply leap out and leave. I've been having doubts for nearly 5 to 7 years , so I've got a decent head start deprogramming myself, lol...

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