Do you sometimes feel really disconected from people?

by Aphrodite 42 Replies latest jw friends

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  Aphrodite

  I thought I had been going really well in my life until my mothers recent attempt at shunning me. Now Im feeling like I don't want to connect with anyone. I'm kind of disconnecting myself from my friends even, withdrawing. It must be something to do with the hurt of being abandoned and rejected by your family I guess.

  I was Df'd when I was 18, none of my family would speak to me at all. I spent a year basicly alone. Thats got to have an affect on a young persons emotional development. Maybe I need therapy?
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  GoddessRachel

  ((((((((((Aphrodite))))))))))))))). I can so relate to how you are feeling. I go through phases where I feel really connected and happy and outgoing followed by phases where all I want to do is shut myself away from the world and never be seen again. It's awful, and yes I do believe it has to do with being shunned and alone for a long time.

  I too was disfellowshipped at a young age and spent a long time with nobody, not even my family. It hurt so much. I'm definitely an advocate for therapy; it has helped me so much. I was lucky though and found a wonderful therapist with whom I connected to immediately. It helped too that she was working with others who were going through similar things and so had a background knowledge in what I was talking about.

  Good luck, Aphrodite. I don't think there is anything wrong with listening to yourself and keeping to yourself when it is right for you. But just make sure to keep it in check and don't shut everyone out! We need people. We need each other.
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  Cellist

  Yes.
  
  I'm sorry to hear you're having troubles with your Mom. I think therapy might be a good idea.
  
  (((Hugs)))
  
  Cellist
• 

  Abandoned

  Maybe I need therapy?

  I need it. There's nothing wrong with getting help to overcome the disgusting thing the cult has done to us.

  ((((((((((((Aphrodite))))))))))))
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  wha happened?

  I still feel disconnected to non-JW's. Like I built a gap so large that it's taking a long time to rebuild the bridges. It takes time I guess.
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  Hortensia

  don't wounded animals go hide in a den until they heal? You probably just feel safer that way - I know I do, when I'm in that state. Therapy helps, activity helps.
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  Mincan

  Ah....yaaaa... like....totally all the time
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  Hiddenwindow

  Therapy could be very helpful.

  On the issue of disconnecting, I am going through a different type: I have started to disconnect from my witness friends, frustrated by the fact that it is virtually impossible to have an open and intelligent discussion with them. Whenever a fishy issue comes up, like the child abuse or the UN issues, or for that matter, the failed prophecies, all I hear is non-sense, a mere effort to justify that which cannot be honestly justified. I am tired of the JW's intellectual dishonesty.

  I hope you find the help you need. Don't be ashamed of needing it or getting it. It is not your fault. You, as many of us, are a victim of the actions and methods of this cult.
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  kenai

  I did for a while after leaving, then it hit me that the only reason I felt like that was because deep down inside I was still craving approval from people who were witnesses, including my mom and dad. I had to come with terms that life is life and that there are trade offs that need to be made and consequences accepted. I would lie if I said it was easy at first but later I felt much better and have become a very balanced and responsible adult in process.
• 

  SirNose586

  ((Aphrodite))

  I know exactly what you're feeling. I feel that way more than I used to. It's probably the natural result of being prepared to let go of family and friends in the eventuality that the elders destroy my connections to them. You stop making big connections to anyone for fear that they can be cut off instantly. And what connections you do have, you keep at an arm's length.

  You feel really numb sometimes. It's disturbing. You think you should be feeling sad or depressed, or angry, or connected, or even happy, but you don't feel anything. You just feel inert, moving through your day, sometimes affected by patches of good or bad, but ultimately it returns to a dispassionate neutral.

  I'm not alone though. There was a guy who was df'd and then reinstated, a friend of mine from way back. He admits feeling anti-social as a result of his df'ing.

  It's deep sh** like this that just makes me want to sock the elders in the face. One of the two elders who made me feel cosmically guilty for bringing uncomfortable questions to the table has been giving me big sh**-eating grins and a firm handshake. He wants me to return to the old brainwashed state. It does nothing but just piss me off further.