Post-Cult Recovery

by Maddie 13 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    Common Issues in Post-Cult Recovery

    • Sense of purposelessness, of being disconnected. They left a group that had a powerful purpose and intense drive; they miss the peak experiences produced from the intensity and the group dynamics.

    • Depression.

    • Grieving for other group members, for a sense of loss in their life.

    • Guilt. Former members will feel guilt for having gotten involved in the first place, for the people they recruited into the group, and for the things they did while in the group.

    • Anger. This will be felt toward the group and/or the leaders. At times this anger is misdirected toward themselves.

    • Alienation. They will feel alienation from the group, often from old friends (that is, those who were friends prior to their cult involvement), and sometimes from family.

    • Isolation. To ex-cult members, no one "out there" seems to understand what they're going through, especially their families.

    • Distrust. This extends to group situations, and often to organized religion (if they were in a religious cult) or organizations in general (depending on the type of cult they were in). There is also a general distrust of their own ability to discern when or if they are being manipulated again. This dissipates after they learn more about mind control and begin to listen to their own inner voice again.

    • Fear of going crazy. This is especially common after "floating" experiences (see point 18 below for explanation of floating).

    • Fear that what the cult said would happen to them if they left actually might happen.

    • Tendency to think in terms of black and white, as conditioned by the cult. They need to practice looking for the gray areas.

    • Spiritualizing everything. This residual sometimes lasts for quite a while. Former members need to be encouraged to look for logical reasons why things happen and to deal with reality, to let go of their magical thinking.

    • Inability to make decisions. This characteristic reflects the dependency that was fostered by the cult.

    • Low self-esteem. This generally comes from those experiences common to most cults, where time and again members are told that they are worthless.

    • Embarrassment. This is an expression of the inability to talk about their experience, to explain how or why they got involved or what they had done during that time. It is often manifested by an intense feeling of being ill at ease in both social and work situations. Also, often there is a feeling of being out of sync with everyone else, of going through culture shock, from having lived in a closed environment and having been deprived of participating in everyday culture.

    • Employment and/or career problems. Former members face the dilemma of what to put on a resume to cover the blank years of cult membership.

    • Dissociation. This also has been fostered by the cult. Either active or passive, it is a period of not being in touch with reality or those around them, an inability to communicate.

    • Floating. These are flashbacks into the cult mindset. It can also take on the effect of an intense emotional reaction that is inappropriate to the particular stimuli.

    • Nightmares. Some people also experience hallucinations or hearing voices. A small percentage of former members need hospitalization due to this type of residual.

    • Family issues.

    • Dependency issues.

    • Sexuality issues.

    • Spiritual (or philosophical) issues. Former members often face difficult questions: Where can I go to have my spiritual (or belief) needs met? What do I believe in now? What is there to believe in, trust in?

    • Inability to concentrate, short-term memory loss.

    • Re-emergence of pre-cult emotional or psychological issues.

    • Impatience with the recovery process.

    In my experience, there is no difference in the aftereffects experienced by those people who had family interventions or those who walked away or were expelled from a cult. Most ex-cult members — no matter the method of leaving the cult — had some or all of these residuals. The difference is that the individuals who had interventions are more prepared to deal with them, and especially those who went to a rehab facility.

    It is important to note and to bring to the attention of the ex-cult member that each individual's recovery process is different and there is no "How To Recover from a Cultic Experience." In fact, the desire for a quick and easy recovery may be in itself a residual effect of the cult.

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    I have been reflecting a great deal on the way our JW experience has effected us and the difficult road to recovery. I came across the above information and after reading it decided to post it. Being on JWD has shown me that it is possible to escape the JW's and go on with my life as I have seen many of you do. There is a light at the end of the tunnel if I am determined, despite the sadness of having family JW's who are still trapped and may shut me out of their lives. I am feeling very sad at the moment but I wont ever give up and I would like to thank you all for being here.

    Maddie

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    For Mine!

    When each are sent on courses pain unending
    And loved ones broken parted ceaseless tears are sending
    The path of lifes leaves, trails of void emotion
    And futures pull is next days waking poison

    Of all the bitter twisted vengeful souls
    That to this Earth emblazened as their goal
    The selfish introverted gossip flows
    Of hatreds smiling molten hurt volcanoes

    Would wrench love and family disect
    So they their justice stupidly collect
    As trophies for indulgent memory albums
    Lifeless theme park rides of hate and vengeful scum

    And know not they the hearts of distillation
    Run clean and clear like rivers to the ocean
    Melted love and lifes pain crystal waters
    Crash, moon pulled, on shores in natures distant islands quarters.

    For those I have loved whose lives have been ripped by forces unexpected!

    Our love is melt but cannot be erased!

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned

    I can relate to nearly everything you wrote. It is getting better, but I can't believe how damaged they left me.

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    The following are the ones I DON'T have a problem with:

    Fear that what the cult said would happen to them if they left actually might happen.

    Spiritualizing everything. This residual sometimes lasts for quite a while. Former members need to be encouraged to look for logical reasons why things happen and to deal with reality, to let go of their magical thinking.
    Employment and/or career problems. Former members face the dilemma of what to put on a resume to cover the blank years of cult membership.
    Nightmares. Some people also experience hallucinations or hearing voices. A small percentage of former members need hospitalization due to this type of residual.
    Sexuality issues.

    Many of the others are not a huge factor in my life, but I have some issues with them.

    Thanks for posting this. Try to cheer up, or seek the comfort of a good friend or pet.

  • AWAKE&WATCHING
    AWAKE&WATCHING

    Maddie - Thank you for posting that, I think it's very helpful to see that what we are experiencing is "normal" for those that have been in a cult. I truly believe that this board is a place of healing.

    Your post is one of the reasons why.

    R. Crusoe - that was beautiful, did you write that?

  • chickpea
    chickpea

    so triggering for me....

    what do i say to my kids? "i am sorry" cannot even begin to touch the surface of my regret.....

    (((((((grouphug)))))))

  • R.Crusoe
    R.Crusoe

    A&W

    Mmmm sadly my heart burst again with words for a few minutes after meeting a family member:

    Their hurt still hangs on every blinking lid.

    And this still in my soul does rise

    At all the concentrated shun filled lies

    That God has willed a love so dark

    To give us - communications fit for love as gifts

    Then in loves name to endlessly desist!

    So pain and hate and misconstrued, judgemental

    souls stay trapped in couldrons stirred, fermental

    By all the powers religion wields in sacred everlasting

    Power sexed minds, insatiable, blind enslaving slime

    Of every far and distant mind of natures gift that is mankind

    Sent to love and not to bind all nature on the Earth.

    ~ I could throw up!

  • llbh
    llbh

    Hi Maddie .

    Hang on in there it is hard though.

    Regards llbh

  • VoidEater
    VoidEater

    Thank you, Maddie - quite a reminder that we're not alone...

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    R. Crusoe - Thank you for the the beautiful words - so sad yet so lovely

    IIbh - I know you care, thank you for pm

    VoidEater - ""Thank you, Maddie - quite a reminder that we're not alone..." It means so much to me not to be alone with all this

    Awake&Watching - I believe we can heal a lot on JWD

    Chick pea - I feel like this with my son too but really we were victims of powerful mind- control and didn't stand a chance.

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