My first, ever. It was my wife's sister's church, a Lutheran church. I wanted to see my neice's sing in the choir and also just to take in the whole experience. I have been married for 4 years (to non-JW woman) and have only participated in Christmas activities breifly. As I was raised a JW and haven't been an active JW since about 1999, I just can't seem to get all excited about Christmas. There is this whole JW ingrained fear that I shouldn't be giving thanks to God for Jesus being born. Also, I'm for some reason constantly reminded in my head that I'm going into "Babylon the Great," or that I'm, "Laying down with the scarlet colored Harlot." All images from that wonderful Revelation book I believe. Anyway, I wanted to experience a regular Chrstian service but these old feelings give you anxiety attacks, ya know?
Anyway, we got all dressed up and headed out early to sit with our relatives for the 8:00 service. I wasn't sure if I had to cross myself when entering the sanctuary as Catholics do but I didn't have to because they are Lutheran. Wouldn't have bothered my either way I as I honestly don't see anything wrong with it. Anyway, what struck me was how very nice the church was as they have a complete Sunday school (broke down by age groups) youth groups, activity and fellowship halls, etc. Pictures adorn the hallways of past group and social events, charity benefits, upcoming event posters, etc. Seems like Christendom keeps it's members active in "following the Christ" after all. I noticed a small room where an older gentleman sat to monitor the security monitors and also control the lighting, sound, etc by computer. All top notch and nice; a far cry from the bare bones audio equipment from Radio Shack that some teenager MS-wannabe controls at the Kingdowm Hall. What a differance from the bland classless atmosphere of a cookie-cutter Kingdom Hall. Anyway, we entered and found our seats next to my in-laws. It was filling up quickly. 15 minutes later it was totally packed. They had very nice programs printed up with the hymnals to be sung, outline of the service and sermon to be given, etc. All very nice and new to me. Everyone was friendly and kind. Still, I was nervous, especially when I saw at the end where everyone rises and makes their way to the front to take communion. "Communion!!!" - Something I had never taken in my entire life, as I was never worthy enough to recieve it according to the JW's. Anyway, when the service started and everyone started to sing I was totally blown away, completely astounded by the lovely singing and praising of God and His Son, Jesus. What a far cry from the monotonous, heartless, barely audible droning of the JW's over the canned music of the KH pa system. I now felt embarrased for the JW's "Singing Praises to Jehovah," because this was some real singing.
The service was interesting, as Lutheran is really Catholoc-Light, so there is alot of repeating of some things and up and down from your seat, which was competely favored by me after having to sit for 2 hours a meeting for nearly 20 years and be bored to tears. This was anything but boring to be honest. I took it all in, the atmosphere, the people, the singing, the praising of God and of His Son's birth, FOR US ALL. This was the message of the sermon given, that this day symbolized the day of Christ's birth, even though it may not be the exact date, but that it He was born into the world as a sacrifice for us ALL, and of all the people he was born among he was born among the lowly shephards, not kings or queens. There was also a message of hope, to come to God and Jesus as you would come out of darkness in tunnel towards the light. It was a moving sermon, and the entire service, ritual, sermon, communion, singing, etc last about 1.5 hours. It went quick, probably because of it's newness to me. When it came to take communion I was nervous, as I honestly don't feel like I'm worthy, but I did it anyway for the sake of doing it, "In remembrance of me," as Jesus commanded his disciples to "Keep on doing."
At the end, I just can't help feeling what a great, freeing experience it was for me. I also can't see anything wrong with it, nor for praising God for giving us his son, singing praises and rejoicing for Jesus just as the angels did on that very eve so long ago. I can't imagine Jehovah being angry at us for giving thanks and rejoicing in such a way. No wonder everyone sees JW's as twisted, socially retarded cult members.....that is what it seems like to me now. Sometimes, like when I was sitting in that church Monday night, I caught myself thinking, "What is wrong with this type of worship? What is/was wrong with me for all of those years? I don't see anything wicked here." While I don't fully embrace the belief of the Trinity, I still found the experience to be praising/worshipping the Father out over the Son, but managing to give thanks to the Son, etc.
So, that's my first real Christmas experience so far. Christmas Day was the usual around my house a large bruch at the in-laws, gifts being exchanged, and then our mid-afternoon nap. The evening was capped off at my Aunt-in-law's house with my cousins, another first for me.
I hope everyone had a great holiday.
- Wing Commander