Vasectomy Horror Stories- Have Any? Or Normal Vasectomy Stories ?

by flipper 43 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper
    flipper

    Hello all. Well, I know you all pretty well now after 9 months of being on board , so I feel O.K. to approach this subject. This subject is a pretty touchy one for most of us men, especially those of us that have been put under the " knife" , and got to the point where we did not want any more children.

    I am 48, and 8 years ago I figured after my divorce from my children's mother I would get this procedure done , because at 40 did not want to have more children after having 3 teenagers at the time. So, being self-employed did not have any medical insurance, looked in the yellow pages and found the least expensive doctor to do the procedure ! That was my first mistake ! I soon found out I should have gone for the doctor who would charge me $550.00 as opposed to the $ 300.00 charge the more " economical " doctor charged.

    So, the day of the surgery arrives . I go in taking the valium pill the doctor told me to take . Now understand, I had never taken a valium pill before ! I felt so relaxed going into surgery that I felt like my jaw was dropping off my face ! What a relaxing, great feeling ! I soon would find out, I would need that " relaxing great feeling " beforehand ! So, I'm sitting there , and the doctor gets ready to numb my testicles with a shot with a needle . So, I brace myself . He injects the numbing stuff and the pain is so severe I about jump out of my chair ! I think I yelled about every curse word in the book at him, and created some new ones like, what the ^%) ing blank did you #&%*( ing hit !??? He said, " Oh. You are just going through normal pain. Normal pain. In my mind I was saying, " I'll show you normal pain you SOB !" But He had me at his mercy at that point , what was I to do? Run out of the office ? Yeah, right !

    So, he finished the procedure telling me, " O. K. You will have minimal swelling for 4 to 5 days . Don't do any lifting for 4 to 5 days or no sex for about 5 days . So I figured O.K. fair enough, I can handle that ! So, after about 4 days I notice my right testicle is swollen up like a frigging apple, but the left side is fine ! Let's see he said, " Normal swelling. Right. " So after a week of this abnormal swelling on one side I called and said, " Hey, Doc. Somethin' is not right here ! " So, I went in and he continued to say, " Oh! Normal swelling. Should go away in a few days. " I said, " I sure as hell hope so, because I'm about to throw my back out from walking crooked with this oblong nut bulging out!"

    So, another week goes by, and by this time , I'm starting to bleed out the bottom of the you know what . So I go back to the doctor, it's been two weeks, and I say to him, " If you say one more time, this is normal bleeding or swelling , you are going to regret it !" So then he starts blaming me by asking questions, " Well, when did you start working again ?" " Did you wait 5 days to have sex? " We think you got too active too soon !" Then he said I had a hematoma, blood clot in the area he had stuck the needle . So I had to go into emergency surgery to have it drained . What had happened as I found out from other doctors is he had probably hit a blood vein in numbing me, causing bleeding and a hemorrage . Interestingly enough, when being wheeled into surgery, he told me, " Just wanted to let you know, I'm not going to charge you for this surgery . " Well, if that wasn't an admission of guilt, I don't know what was !

    Looking back now, I should have sued him , but all parts snapped back into shape within a month in good working order . ( Mrs. Flipper is thankful . ) But it was the single most traumatic physical thing I have ever had happen in my life anyway. So what about you guys out there? Any horror stories ? Or, you lucky dogs, did your operations all go smoothly? Look forward to hearin' from ya, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • What-A-Coincidence
    What-A-Coincidence

    Mr. Flip...you got balls!

    alt

  • Abandoned
    Abandoned
    Mr. Flip...you got balls!

    Literally!

  • Gordy
    Gordy

    I had a vasectomy 18 years ago.

    Had it done one afternoon at a private clinic. All over in about 30 minutes. Never had any problems.

    Cost me about £50 ($100) back then.

    Incidently I was a JW and Min Servant at the time. I asked Elders about having it done, no problems they said.

    Now I would not be allowed to be a Min Servant if it was known I had had it done.

  • worldtraveller
    worldtraveller

    I was in the waiting room, and the operating room was directly across the hall. There were about 6 people in the waiting room with myself. About 10 minutes of waiting , the door in the operating room opened and out pops a younger man, and to my shock, his apron is completely covered in blood. I pretty much went into hysteria as it looked like the surgery went horribly wrong and the naughty bits all but fell off.

    So in a panic I asked the nurse what happened. She said it's pretty normal. I said in shock "for a vascectomy"???

    She said, heck no. That was a circumcision.

    Fortunately all I ever felt was a giant headache and a little electrical buzz for the coterization. What a freaking relief!!!

    The only embarassing thing was the nurse wandering in the room to take a peek at how it was going during the surgery. Takes a peek under the scrot, and says "well done".

  • LtCmd.Lore
    LtCmd.Lore

    *wince*

    I intend to have this done as well, so I'd also love to hear your stories.

    Flipper, why does your gender icon say you're a female?

    Lore - W.W.S.D?

  • flipper
    flipper

    WAC- What a nice picture tribute! Thanks ! I see I still have my flippers and balls ! Cool !

    ABANDONED- Hey, thanks dude ! Yep, just checked, still have em'!

    GORDY- Some guys don't ever have problems with the operation. I'm envious ! Now you can't be a ministerial servant if you have one ? You have got to be kidding me, right ?

    WORLD TRAVELLER- I bet you were scared ! If I saw a guy coming at me bleeding out his kibble and bits, I think I'd start running out the door to be frank !. Glad you found out it was a circumcision.

    LTCMD.LORE- O.K. My avatar sign is female because after the surgery, I said , " The hell with being a guy. I'm changing to a female . " So, there you have it. No. Not really, just joking ! My wife started posting on this board in March this year and I just do most of the posting on here

  • bigmouth
    bigmouth

    Cool! I've got a great story too!!

    So....half way through child number 7 the missus books me into some rural vet masquerading as a part time surgeon. I kind of think it's a sensible idea.

    So I give myself a Brazilian in the shower that morning and reacquaint myself with my exquisitely sensitive testicles.

    Drive about 60 km to the quack. He squints and prods at my nuts and then grunts and says lie on the bed/table. He says "Don't bother taking off your shoes we wont be here long. Just pull your pants down to your ankles"

    He and the, fortunately, unattractive nurse scrub up and put their masks on. "O.K." he says, "This will JUST feel like you've been kicked in the nuts" (and sticks a huge hollow piece of metal in my soft, warm vas.)@#$% ME GENTLY!!!!Did it what! But I felt it numbing up and tried to relax a bit. And then he says,"Now the other one" Sweet Baby Jesus!! I've got TWO!!??.

    Now I didn't realise but not all people can be anaesthetised all the time. Turns out I'm one of them.

    My right vas wouldn't numb up. The guy looks at me hyperventilating, sweating, bulging veins and asks, "Does that still hurt?" I don't need to answer as the nurse sticks a paper bag over my face and says "Breathe"

    The sadistic bastard keeps poking his bloody needle in my ball sac. Nothing but pain and terror. "Sorry, but I'll just have to carry on" he says.

    So I get a vasectomy with only half the pain relief. He whacks of about 1 cm of each of my vas's and sticks them in a pot and shows me. "Look what I caught!" They look like baby crab sticks!

    I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED SUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE!! And unlike my wife I would never go back every couple of years to have another vasectomy.

    I know that my testicles are connected to my eyes.

    Best wishes,
    Pete

  • JK666
    JK666

    I never had the "Big V." Therefore I am still available for stud service. You ladies can PM me for further information. Just like with dogs, I get pick of the litter.

    JK

  • flipper
    flipper

    BIGMOUTH- Oh my god ! You were only given like half a painkiller ? OMFG ! I would die ! Man , I bet that hurt. Did they do this surgery in some back woods country ? With crude tools and instruments ? Sounds like you had the pervert freaks from the movie " Deliverance " do your operation ! Wow, and I thought I had it bad ! Man, I'm glad you healed up .

    JK- Hey JK. Yeah, you might be available for stud service. But if you knock one of those chicks up, you might break the Guiness Book of World Records for oldest father at 90 !! At least you'll die with a smile on your face ! Peace out, Mr. Flipper

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