5thGeneration spanked his awesome pre-teen girls and is proud of it.

by nvrgnbk 65 Replies latest jw friends

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  nvrgnbk

  Is it ok to hit a subordinate co worker if they don't follow your directions? How about the lawn worker who accidentally cut down a rose bush? How about your spouse if they did something?

  But it's ok to hit a pre teen who can understand the language they have grown up in?

  For purps, bikerchic, and ozzie, here's the link to the post that led me to start this in 5thGen's honor...

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/147785/2678868/post.ashx#2678868

  There was no insinuation of the man being a pedo, ozzie. If you think that I would do that, then you don't know me at all.
• 

  ringo5

  Nvr most of the time offers up some good and fair thoughts on many subjects.

  However when someone's posting almost 40 times a day, he obviously has the need to get his opinion out there, and at times those opinions will be judgmental in nature. We all have them, judgmental opinions that is, to one extent or another yet we tend to not to broadcast them to avoid backlash.

  So good on you nvr, for putting your opinion out there, if you've done so to discuss it's validity with other posters arguments pro and con.

  Not so good on you though, if it's done just to pick out one individual, when obviously it's not just one posters view.
• 

  nvrgnbk

  I guess the beatings I got as a kid soured me on this.

  My first and hopefully last vent on JWD

  I got beat with a leather belt almost everyday.

  I finally forgave my parents.

  Life's too short to spend it angry.

  My son is a Distinguished Honors student and I got him out of the cult. He's thirteen.

  He has no disciplinary problems at school and has a reputaton for being very mannerly and outgoing.

  I recall spanking him once when he was a toddler, for being too rough with another child.

  I guess it was some sort of "righteous indignation" on my part.

  I felt terrible afterwards and never did it again.

  I think spanking is an easy way out for many parents.

  What good comes from beating another human being?

  Because someone that was spanked as a child turned out "well" doesn't mean that it was thanks to the spanking.

  I forgave my parents.

  I don't want my son to have to forgive me.
• 

  bikerchic

  For purps , bikerchic, and ozzie , here's the link to the post that led me to start this in 5thGen 's honor...

  Awe well shucks nvr thanks for the link. Yep that was the thread I was avoiding......I came from the generation that used corporal punishment, I did, my parents did, my grandparents did, my great grandparents did and so on......we all lived and I don't think any one of us liked getting spanked but darn well knew we deserved to be punished.

  FWIW my own children are not spanker's they are time-outers. My grand kids are pretty well behaved as I was as their parents were. Now I would not use spanking as a means to punish a child there are plenty of other things to do to get your point across and I do think it encourages or teaches them to hit their siblings.

  Heck they ought to be a law passed that you can lock all teenagers up until they are 20 and the raging hormones have quit raging! I really can't imagine spanking a teenager by that age they should know how to behave and if not lock 'em up throw the key away!
• 

  wanderlustguy

  My point is that there is a time where understanding is there and if you can communicate, yet still have to resort to hitting, that's the lesson, you can use phycal force to make your point if you have trouble communicating.

  I spanked mine when they were so little that there had to be a consequence and I couldn't exactly tell them a story or ground them and fix it.

  I know in the past it was ok to do that even to teenagers, spare the rod spoil the child, etc. But as we grow we learn better ways, more advanced methods, and can actually teach people how to communicate when there are differences instead of resorting to physical force.

  How far is it really to go from hitting with a belt or switch to caneing a grown person in public? Pretty far in reality...but how far in ideals?

  I don't hate my mom for spanking me, and yea I think I'm better for it. I also don't regret having to plow 4 acres of land with a mule, it wasn't pleasant to say the least, but it taught me how to work... I really don't think I want to do that again, nor do I want to make my kids do it. We don't have to do things the way they used to be done...and we really shouldn't most of the time.

  It doesn't mean I think everyone who spanks their kids is wrong or a bad person, but it is my opinion that it is probably counterproductive. But that's it, just my opinion.

  But...there is also an age where it becomes abuse. Without a doubt.

  WLG.
• 

  bikerchic

  (((nvr)))

  I remember reading your vent. Sorry you had such a terrible childhood. I do understand the fine line between spanking a child for the sake of teaching them a lesson and down right beating them because you've lost control of your anger.

  Seeing our society is so totally out of control perhaps a law is in order to keep the children safe.
• 

  nvrgnbk

  ......I came from the generation that used corporal punishment, I did, my parents did, my grandparents did, my great grandparents did and so on......we all lived and I don't think any one of us liked getting spanked but darn well knew we deserved to be punished.

  Punished?

  Absolutely.

  Taught that certain behaviors are not acceptable.

  But we've learned alot haven't we?

  I know my father's father rarely if ever told him he loved him.

  I know my Dad tried to improve on that.

  And I tried to improve on the example I was given.

  I have.

  And I fully expect my son to be a better father than I have been.

  Sexual abuse, not relating that to spanking, but giving an example, is nothing new.

  Some think it's unique to modern society because of the attention it gets today.

  But there is no evidence to support that it occurs with greater frequency.

  It just appears that way because we're sensitive to it, it's being talked about more openly.

  Child labor laws now protect kids, at least in some countries.

  What I'm trying to say is that just because something was commonly practiced before doesn't mean it was beneficial.

  It's simply the way it was.

  As you noted, bikerchic,

  FWIW my own children are not spanker's they are time-outers. My grand kids are pretty well behaved as I was as their parents were. Now I would not use spanking as a means to punish a child there are plenty of other things to do to get your point across and I do think it encourages or teaches them to hit their siblings.

  It would appear that the lack of spanking has not had an adverse affect on your grandchildren.

  I'm sure you're very proud of them.
• 

  bikerchic

  It would appear that the lack of spanking has not had an adverse affect on your grandchildren.

  I'm sure you're very proud of them.

  No truer words spoken!

  What is life for if we all aren't growing and learning better ways to make life better not only for ourselves but others each and every day? I hope I never quit learning better ways of coping with life because it's hard, it's breathe, breathe, breathe all the time, sigh. Ya know what I mean?
• 

  nvrgnbk

  What is life for if we all aren't growing and learning better ways to make life better not only for ourselves but others each and every day? I hope I never quit learning better ways of coping with life because it's hard, it's breathe, breathe, breathe all the time, sigh. Ya know what I mean?

  I sure do.

  We're here for a bit.

  Then we die.

  But it can still be beautiful, wonderful even.

  Thanks for trying to understand.

  I apologize if I was being judgmental. That wasn't my intent.
• 

  flipper

  NVR- As much as I used to disagree at times with elders advice on things when a witness , I was given some good advice by a older elder one time who raised 3 really respectful children into nice adults. I needed this advice at the time as my youngest daughter , then 2 years of age would not be still in the kingdom hall during the meeting. She was a spunky little character ( still is ) lol! and my ex-wife would try to spank her to get her to be still. I knew that wouldn't work with my daughter , and this older elder said, " You know some kids just need more talking to. Need to have more lovin . Try just telling her she has to be quiet or you'll go sit in the car till she is quiet. A little isolation therapy. "

  So, me being a young parent in my 20's was willing to try anything as this daughter of mine had a set of lungs on her that wouldn't quit ! So I took her out to the car really quiet when she would not shut her pie hole in the kingdom hall. We sat there for only 3 to 4 minutes and I calmly said to her, " Honey, the other brothers and sisters can't hear at the meeting because of your yelling. We are supposed to be nice, show respect for others so they can listen too. I know you like to sit with everybody , but until you are quiet we are going to sit out in the car. ". She said, " No! daddy, No! I want to be with everybody else ! " I said, " As soon as you are quiet you can . We will go right back in if you are a good girl. " It only took 3 minutes and she stopped crying , and we went back in the hall. I never had any more disruption from her during a meeting again ! So, for that time and place the elders advice seemed to work.

  Of course my youngest daughter is still spunky, and smart alec at age 19 , and shuns me now because I stopped going to meetings 4 years ago ! Maybe the elders advice didn't work after all, and I should start screaming for her to pay attention to her fading father. Ya know, a little payback for her lung display all those years ago ! You know I'm joking, right ? Peace out, Mr. Flipper