There is so much pain... (page 3)

momzcrazy

Just, I also understand, to some extent, how you feel. I was also raised in. But fortunately i have a husband saw the light long ago. I only followed recently. Yes, we lost a huge chunk of life. But there is also a huge chunk to be had. You may not live with your kids, but you are still Daddy and very important to them, however much you are with them. Keep up your relationship with them. Daddy's are vital, mine has been gone for too long and I need him still at 34.

There is still beauty to be seen and good times to be had. It just may be a little while till you see it. It's just there waiting for you, patiently. Mourn what you lost, grieve for it, it's normal. And the wide world will be waiting there to welcome you.

Thank you for sharing so much with us, for trusting us that much.

momzcrazy

prophecor

Damn Bro, whatchu' talkin' 'bout!!! My generation, yes. It was seemingly all for naught, but I hope you can take courage from others here who also walked away much of thier lives, including me. My greatest fear was the Boogie Man behind the iron curtain. The guilty parties, and pity parties. I saw Jehovah's celestial chariot running away from me as I refused to keep up. I got tired of chasing the dream and settled for the death sentence instead.

Now, after all those years of running to catch my breath, I realise that it was a grand pipe dream, the smoke and mirrors thing, the great 3 card monty. I feel cheated, yes, but I could still be on the inside, without knowledge, without a more accurate understanding of our religions history and its troubled and peppered past. I could still be asleep while distributing Awakes. The yin and the yang. I'm sorry to have stayed beyond any reasonable sentence (Death), but I'm glad that I can still move on. You've got to move on, just move....

Abandoned

I feel for you. ((((((((((justhuman))))))))))

Now, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but quit being a victim. You got out. The story isn't over yet. Use your head to do what you can to help your kids see what's going on. Realize, really realize, that you are going against people that don't play fair. You can't use the mindset you used at that JC. You told it like it was and they spun it around like the experts in duplicity and lying they are. So, learn from that. Play the game to win. There is a lot of good information here at JWD on how to help family members.

So, I hope I haven't offended you by this point, but you need to become an expert in helping people get out of cults. Read Stephen Hassan's books about cults and don't play into their hands. Don't react the way they are taught that apostates react. That just enforces their belief that they are doing what is right. Let them see you succeed, happy, calm, making good decisions, helping people out, showing love of God. Then they can SEE that what they've been told is wrong because you aren't going to win the propaganda war against the watchtower.

My couple of pennies...

prophecor

I have been watching some of your posts lately......We mostly get just a few words from you here and there. I am glad you opened up and I am sorry for all you have been through.
Leslie

Yeah, What Leslie said. Been watching you for a long time. It's really good to hear your voice. To see whats really on your heart, whats really on your mind. Just Human, we all are.......Just Human.....

wanderlustguy

Can anyone bring back my lost years of childhood, or the years that I spend knocking doors to spread the "gospel". I feel that my life ended. No meaning in anything. Why all this suffering? Is there any reason why many people like me suffered even died for this mad house called Watchtower?

At this point you can decide to be a victim or an example of how people can be after freeing themselves of "The Mad House".

Do it for your kids, show them a better way. Decide to stop being a victim and become something too strong to be hurt by them again.

Good Luck...you don't have to do it alone.

WLG

misanthropic

(((((((Justhuman))))))

Vernon Williams

JH,

Just got home from work....almost two in the morning....had to respond to your post.

Your "story" is our story, bro. Tweak any one of us here or there and you have it. You are amoung friends. My forty plus years were a waste: stuffing feed in the arse of a proverbial dead horse. Pure waste: worse for my kids and wife.

We are raising my wife's great nephew: I watch his excitement over birthdays and holidays and grieve over what my kids missed. The dis-advantage of being with out education due to following the WT's guidelines...the whole thing....alll of it just cosmically sucks.

Yet, no matter what, no matter how late, no matter the cost THIS.....this path of truth and light we have found as a way out of the insanity of the WT...THIS is better: so much so that with all the regret and pain you and I have discussed it is still worth it.

No...the pain...the harsh reality of loss will not just disapear, BUT, is will grow smaller....never disapear, not this side of Judgement, anyway, but it gets less and less as we fill that hole up with new experiences and relationships. Also, with your clarity of vision, you will assist your children. And, you may, still, assist your wife....life is funny that way....

So, late at night here in the US....thinking of you and wishing you well. Your post was great. I will begin holding your name up in prayer during my bedtime prayers. I keep several here in my prayers....I have been thinking of OOMPA a lot and several others.....I will be specific with you: asking our Lord's mercy on you: for strength, patience, and peace...so hard to find.

Till later,

With you in this Struggle,

In Christ by a shared History and commonn concerns,

V PS: KEEP POSTING!!

justhuman

I would like to thank you all from the depth of my soul...your comments were so upbuilding for me. I mean my only comparison was, and still is this forum. The reason is we all have a common history to share and pain. I see how did some people continue with their lifes after leaving WT.

It doesn't matter if some turn to be Atheist's or any other religion, or Catholics, or they just believe in Christ without following any organized religion. At the end God will judge each one of us personally according to our actions.

Because I live in small Island and there are only 2000 JW's is even harder for me. Specially when ALL my family and relatives are JW's and friends, and actually there is no one to share my thoughts face to face. Also have in mind that Greeks have a strong family bond and that is why you see many families that turned into JW's faith. I know that many JW's don't believe WT crap but they are staying for family reasons. I did talked to some of my non JW's friends but they cannot undestand what I'm going through.

The only persons that they understand me are my friends in this forum. Because they have been through the same pain. I wish I could get a cult-therapist because I know I'm suffering from severe depression, I have the symptoms but even a psycologist without any cult backround treatment wan't help.

I did have lot of interests in life. I'm certified advance and resque diver, photographer, I play guitar in band, but after my awakening I quit diving, I haven't dive for 5 years, and as a photographer I quit my hobby, and I just play guitar in a band, and I do this to get some extra money and the music I 'm playing does not please me.

I know I have to get on my feet again but I just cannot. Everytime I try to, something is happening and I 'm down again. Usually are the many financial problems that I have, or family issues. Maybe if I leave the country for a while and work somewere else it will help. I just don't know.

Thank you for comments again, and God bless you all...

Cindi_67

Are your kids close to you? They should be your first priority. I know family ties and how some cultures work can be a very difficult thing to change. I come from a culture where family gatherings are very important, and when the entire family are JW's and one chooses not to, that can be very painful. I am not judging you there, and certainly can't tell you to change the way you feel and were raised. However you can steer your boat towards developing a good relationship with your kids, which is more important now than the ties with your other family members. Of course, we can talk and talk, but we don't know everything that's going on in your life and what kind of relationship you have with your ex. That is something you need to work on, so you can stay close to your children. Her disposition in having you close to the children is what will make the difference. If she is willing to work it out with you, then you have won half the fight. The rest is up to you.

Is that something you might want to try?

Vernon Williams

JH,

Thank you for your last post.

Hey guy, you have a lot going for you. The fact that your culture has strong family ties: that must "bleed over" into relationships, also. You have the type of interests that promote social interaction. Once those opportunitiies start developing..you will be fine. There is this void.....a large space of loss.....only people can fill that. Also, you seem to have a "natural" spirituality...that will grow, too. So, JH, though you are in a pit of slime, you have the abilities and circumstances to crawl out....you will be mucky, dirty for a while....but that will wash off.

All in all, as bad as it is for you (and, I am not down-playing that) I think you have a lot of assets and you will, once you get over this time of shock and rage, do great.

I was so tired last night....just felll into bed....however, I did an abbreviated bed time prayer and mentioned you....and OOMPA...you gotta love that guy....and, checked the board before I am off to work to see how you were. I was glad you posted.

KEEP POSTING and keep us updated.....especially the low times....

Take care, bro......

Yours in this Journey,

V

There is so much pain...

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