There is so much pain...

justhuman

I don't know why things in life happened...I don't know why I was born in the most destructive cults ever existed. My childhood was so miserable...is not nice to see the other kids at your age celebrating xmas and birthdays and other holidays. My whole world was somewhere between kindom hall and field service with my pioneers parents.

I hardly finished high school because I was supposed to live in the generation that by no means will pass way. It was the famous generation of 1914 and it was the year 1984, and I was only 17 at that time. So i spend my best years of my life pioneering the false gospel of the WT. I got married just before the ''new light" came out.(and as I read from this forum there is new one coming soon)

Then I realize there is something going wrong. I started to read. And I had a lot of staff to read. From Russell to Booze Jo. I had the bigest WT library in the country, due to the fact that my dad was C.O. Then I saw the real light. WT was nothing more than a false prophet and antichrist.

I had to help my wife and my children to get out from there. Instead of understanding I found hate. I tried for 5 years to show her that we need to go on with our lifes and our children without WT controling our lifes. She turned me in for apostasy 2 times. The first one was 5 years ago. I got way with it. I lied...the second time I couldn't lie. I couldn't do it because I would have to denounce Jesus in front of false prophets court. I said it right in front of their face: I don't believe any more of the WT and the GB are a banch of false prophets...is not hard to figure out the outcome.

Now I'm accused that I lied to her, and I should have told her from the begging that I didn't intend to be a JW. I wonder who is the real liar...

At the age of 40 I live alone, way from my 2 small kids, trying to get a new life, and working 15 hours a day seven days a week in order to make it financially...the end was so close that we needed no education or skills.

Can anyone bring back my lost years of childhood, or the years that I spend knocking doors to spread the "gospel". I feel that my life ended. No meaning in anything. Why all this suffering? Is there any reason why many people like me suffered even died for this mad house called Watchtower?

dawg

Just,

I hear everything you're saying man, I'm right there with you. And all for what? A bunch of losers and liars. All I can say is that the sun will rise tomorrow, use that time to free those you can and to enjoy your life. Try and find beauty, and love. THere is a reason to live and enjoy. Good luck my bro, keep in touch.

snowbird

I couldn't do it because I would have to denounce Jesus in front of false prophets court.

I'm so thrilled to read that because my time is coming soon. I haven't DA'd myself, so I know the elders will soon be calling to find out where I stand.

The pain will eventually subside. Jesus Christ is faithful and He will never leave you.

Grace, peace, love, and courage on your Christian walk.

Sylvia

BFD

Can anyone bring back my lost years of childhood, or the years that I spend knocking doors to spread the "gospel". I feel that my life ended. No meaning in anything. Why all this suffering? Is there any reason why many people like me suffered even died for this mad house called Watchtower?

I wish I had answers for you. I don't know what to say. If there is a God, these evil people will be judged by Him.

Some days I feel the same, What's the point? Where's the meaning in this life? I just try and be kind and help people in any way I possibly can. It is true that it is better to give than to receive.

Sorry for your pain, (((justhuman))).

BFD

poppers

No one can bring back your lost years of childhood, the past is the past, so regrets about it will do no good. The future isn't here yet, and it never will be (think about it, is the "future" ever here?). So what's left? This very moment RIGHT NOW. This very moment is all you'll ever have. How will you live in this moment then, by regretting the past, fearing the future, or by staying focussed on what's unfolding right before your eyes? I suggest you learn to see what's here right now and stay fully present with that without the distorting influence of the mind. Then you'll find peace and fulfillment beyond anything you think is possible. Right here, right now is your salvation - it's just a matter of recognizing it.

Is there any reason why many people like me suffered even died for this mad house called Watchtower?

The same reason that all people suffer, ignorance. Ignorance of what? Of your true nature, of what you really are. People are raised to hold and identify with certain beliefs and it is those beliefs that obscure what you really are. The WT is particularly good at conditioning people to live their lives from the viewpoint they espouse, but all of society does the same thing, and that's why people continue to suffer. See beliefs for what they are: thoughts, just thoughts. A thought in and of itself can do no harm, but how one relates to thoughts, how one identifies with thoughts keeps people distracted from their real nature, which is free of everything. Drop the beliefs about anything and everything and freedom begins to emerge on its own. You are freedom itself; what you really are is what is sought.

purplesofa

(((((((((((((((big hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

I have been watching some of your posts lately......We mostly get just a few words from you here and there. I am glad you opened up and I am sorry for all you have been through.

Leslie

dinah

((((justhuman))))

Being born-in as well, I can relate. No, we can't get our childhoods back. Sometimes I think that is why some of us have so much trouble moving on. It's almost like we have arrested development.

Regret doesnt really help much. In ten years you could look back and regret spending all that time regretting! Does that make sense? It is so terrible that misplaced loyalties splits up families. In reality, if we are following Christ instead of a bunch of men that particular problem wouldn't even exist.

Talking about it helps tremendously. There are many here who understand exactly what you've been through--myself included.

R.Crusoe

Justhuman. I am blank in my head to respond!

compound complex

Dear Just,

I'm sorry for what at the moment seems unendurable pain. After 7 years of a somewhat similar experience, I've recovered. We all know about the madness that sets in when you oppose "The Authority." The verdict and judgment are seldom fair. There's fallout. What helped me was my support group of sympathetic friends and family - JW and non-JW. You need to find trustworthy persons to talk to. Non-JWs surely have no reason to "turn you in."

Stay in touch with your JWD family, too.

Wishing you the best, in Christ,

CoCo

OUTLAW

JustHuman..Your not alone..There are lots of us just like you..The WBT$ has totaly ruined millions of lives.....The good news is,your out of that cult now..It`s better to enjoy what you have,than grieve over what you don`t have...OUTLAW

There is so much pain...

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