by purplesofa 24 Replies latest jw friends
I am always surprised (why? I don't know...) by the range of responses we manifest as kids, and growing up - how it is that some of us come from fiercely racist families, and sometimes we learn that but sometimes we rebel against that. Something within us responds and we become our own person.
It gives me hope that we, as a race or culture, are indeed growing up despite the bad examples we sometimes get at home (racist attitudes, religious brain washing) - and each day gets a little better...
the other was never marry a black man.
How ironic! My mother's admonition was to never bring a White boy to her house or she would wring our necks!
That's funny cuz when I was twelve my mother told me (in the heat of one of her numerous daily arguements with my father) that if I wanted to have a good life not to marry a black man. And no she was not happy when I married my hubby.
Screwy ain't it?
Josie
Being prejudiced is difficult to avoid in some ways. I know I look at all people as equal as I think is possible to do but I see communities of all colors who frown on someone bringing a 'standout' along to join in family life. Like a white man in a black suburb or vice versa. We have ourselves a situation. Hopefully it will evolve into a loving solution!
Mrs. Smith, I can relate a little to yourstory.. but a difrent twist.
See, my mother didn't want me to bring home a light-skined black woman and wanted me to bing home a beautiful chocolate girl because she just wasn't very favorable of lightskinned folks. That old light v. dark argument.
maybe I'll bring home a ark chocolate guy instead hmm....
Anyways, yah prejudices are so hard because they are what is taught and at moments they can be so.. habitual that they come out w/o even noticing it. It really sucks, and I think its important to realize that saying your not prejudice or a bigot requires. i don't know, wrok at NOT being it because in some level we all are. I realy don't like when people mae this bold statement that "OMGZ, i'm not racist" when at times even my black ass is and works at it, yet they can somehow make the clea statement to declare how unracist they are and that's it.. all the while letting little bits and pieces of their racist thoguhs slip out from time to time.
Like my favorite to hear is, "I'm not racist BUt.." and they person goes on to spew the most racist trite crap ever and you aen't suppose to say anything because again, they aren't racist...
but well. They are.
And homophobia requires work too 'cause hell eve gay people themsleves with their own desire to be with the same sex need to get use to seeing it. Like I still remember my first same sex kiss I sa that was really serious. I think it was on Six Feet Under between the two characters Keith and David and it made me feel really funny and I laughed. but I said it was gross and wrong and made the straight boy automatic scruncy face and "Eww, wtf" reaction you know?
So yah I think working through prejudices means being honest about them in the first place and working to dismantle themAnd also be willing to forgive others for slips even when its hard because you at times will slip. I know my black friends would kill me for the things I let my white friends say.. now they can't jsut about say 'anything' (and I'm sure we all know like the ultimate 'Hells no' word that will set saywhat up in the motha) but they say crazy stuff w/o realizing its offensive and we talk about it. but what makes me stay around is that they are cool and will listen and work with me even if they don't always understand or agree.
And the really sexist thigns i've said that women have pulld me up on.. yeah, so I think we all should work at prejudices but moreso forgive and try to understand each other.
I feel so martin Luther King Jr. today.... somebody should build a march behind me. The Saywhat march.
Go on. Start working. I've blessed this thread with my... excellence.
I don't consider myself prejudiced. There are those of each race that are upstanding, considerate and loving and those who are not.
My mom on the other hand would tell us in her subtle way "You know, a blue bird does not marry a red bird". All four of us kids would just roll our eyes and walk away from this. Surprisingly though, we all married within our race even though we've all had relationships with people of other races. Mama was not happy during those interracial times in our lives.
Dad never said a word. I guess he figured he'd let mom do the fighting on this issue, but I really don't think he cared whether we married someone of another race.
when at times even my black ass is and works at it,
We all are to a greater or lesser extent. We know it.
Sylvia
There is trash in both races (black and white). For some odd reason, each race has those who are prejudiced and believe that all of their opposing race is "trash".
I've also noted that it's usually the "trash" who hate the other race's "trash"... It's a case of the pot calling the kettle black. (no pun intended)
From Anatomy of the Spirity by Carolyn Myss
Maybe a deeper understanding to prejudices and racism.
Tribal Culture
No one begins life as a conscious "individual" with conscious willpower. The identity comes much later and develops in stages from childhood through adulthood. Beginning life as a part of a tribe, we become connected to our tribal consciousness and collective willpower by absorbing its strengths and weaknesses, beliefs, superstitions, and fears.
Through our interactions with family and other groups, we learn the power of sharing a belief with other people. We also learn how painful it can be to be excluded from a group and its energy. We learn as well the power of sharing a moral and ethical coded handed down from generation to generation. This code of behavior guided children of the tribe during their developmental years, providing a sense of dignity and belonging.
If tribal culture experiences energetically interconnect us, so do tribal attitudes, be they sophisticated perceptions such as "We are all brothers and sisters" or superstitions such as "The number 13 is bad luck"
…………Our respective tribes introduce us to life "in the world" They teach us that the world is either safe of dangerous, abundant or poverty stricken, educated or ignorant, a place to take from or to give to. And they transmit their perception about the nature of reality itself, for instance, that this life is only one of many or that this life is all there is. We inherit from out tribes their attitudes toward other religious , ethnic, and racial groups. Our tribes "activate" our thinking process.
…………The tribal beliefs we inherit are a combination of truth and fiction. Many of them, such as "murder is forbidden" hold eternal value. Other lack that quality of eternal truth and are more parochial, designed to keep tribes separate from one another, in violation of the truth , All is One. The process of spiritual development challenges us to retain the tribal influences that are positive and to discard those that are not.
Our spiritual power grows when we are able to see beyond the contradictions inherent in tribal teachings and pursue a deeper level of truth, Each time we make a shift toward symbolic awareness, we positively influence our energy and biological systems. We also contribute positive energy to the collective body of life—the global tribe. Think of this process of spiritual maturation as "spiritual homeopathy."
…….From an energy perspective, becoming conscious requires stamina. It is extremely challenging, and often very painful, to evaluate our own personal beliefs and separate ourselves from those that no longer support our growth. Change is the nature of life, and external and internal change is constant. When we change inwardly, we outgrow certain belief patterns and strengthen others. The first belief patterns that we challenge are tribal because our spiritual development follows the structure of our energy system; we clear out ideas from the bottom up, starting with the earliest and most basic.
Evaluating our beliefs is a spiritual and biological necessity. Our physical bodies, minds, and spirits all require new ideas in order to thrive.
…………Seen symbolically, our life crisis tell us that we need to break free of beliefs that no longer serve our personal development. These points at which we must choose to change or to stagnate are our greatest challenges. Every new crossroads means we enter into a new cycle of change. And change means letting go of familiar people and places and on to another stage of life.
We can be stuck between two worlds; the old world that we need to release and the new world that we are afraid to enter. We are attracted to becoming more "conscious" but at the same time we find it frightening because it means we must take personal responsibility for ourselves—and for our health, career, attitudes and thoughts. Once we accept personal responsibility for even one area of our lives, we can never again use "tribal reasoning" to excuse our behavior.
Not narrowly on-topic, but:
I continue to be jerked aback when I read direct and indirect comments on race-relations from many U.S.-based posters here.
both races (black and white)
One could easily be persuaded to believe that - for all important intents and purposes - only 2 races co-exist in the U.S.A.: Black and White. [U.S. nationals and residents of Latin American descent seem to be relegated to the edge of debates, usually those specifically addressing immigration concerns]: . I find this curious because the U.S. is renown the world over for its long-lived, multi-racial demographic composition, being - as it intrinsically is - a heterogeneous country.
Does the majority of U.S. society purposely ignore the presence of other "races" in its midst - with all of their physical (visible) and, sometimes, culture-of-origin-related characteristics; or are other racial groups assigned an honorary relegation to the "Black" or "White" races for ease of consideration/assimilation?
-V
EDITED TO ADD: Or is a different thought process accountable for this phenomenon?
EDITED TO ADD: Or is a different thought process accountable for this phenomenon?
Whenever anyone speaks of "race relations" in the US of A, Blacks and Whites automatically come to mind. Ever since a Dutch man-of-war dropped anchor off the coast of Virginia in 1619 and Captain John Rolfe bought some of its cargo which included "twenty negars," the relationship between these groups have been anything but amicable.
I know here in the South if anyone does anything to another, the first question that springs to mind is, "Is it a Black person or a White person?" That's just the way it is. The actual and perceived differences between these groups are larger than the groups themselves. It gets to be hilarious at times. Other times, it's just sad.
Sylvia
