by dawg 61 Replies latest watchtower scandals
:"How Can I Conquer This Evil?", is the heading of the article. The answer is simple. Just follow the example of two illustrious Governing Body(tm) members (Ewart and Chitty, [er Greenlees]) and poke boys instead. Masturbation problem solved!
Freaking hypocrites!
Farkel
Borgia,
:Are you nuts?
:No, a mormon.
My cousin had only six months left to "serve" on his perfuctory Mormon Mission(tm) when he got fed up with all the bulldust and hypocrisy in that religion. So he told his missionary manager his concerns. Now, keep in mind that in Mormonland, not finishing a two year mission is akin to dropping out of Bethel for dubs. Those who do this are treated like pond scum in both religions. In view of the seriousness of the choice my cousin was making, and in view of the missionary manager's deep concern to restore my cousin's confidence in his faith, the leader asked him this deep and penetrating spiritual question:
"Do you masturbate?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Farkel
Another thought about this dawg,
Remembering back to the advise we used to receive at the meetings...when they would go on in a talk about how pervasive the problem of masturbation was, it would get me to thinkin about it. When they would begin to discuss the STRUGGLES that many of the young "sisters" had to avoid playing with themselves, being the young, virile, adolescent male that I was.....thinking about all those young girls pleasuring themselves...I couldn't wait to get home to wack off! lol
Its so ironic that the only cure for masturbation is real sex. Who "conquers" masturbation? HAH!
conquer? or "beat?" (Oh no I didn't)
Masturbation Saves Rabbit from JW's
True story. I've been fading successfully for a number of years. No dubs have been by, our somewhat rural house, in the 4 years we've lived here. I'm very well known by the dubs, but, I don't think the local congo knows where I live.
This morning...my never-been-a-dub sweet wife of 4 years, was sitting on the porch, enjoying a beautiful morning. Then, a male/female couple show up...asking, "Is the Bible God's word...or Man's ?" Mzz Rabbit says, "I'm not really interested." They turned to leave and she mentioned something about their blood doctrine, one of them asks, "Oh, are you familiar with it ? She said "Yes, I am very familiar." (My mom died over it)
They said, "Ok, well, have a good morning." And walked off.
They obviously did not want a discussion about that Hot Tater !
A few minutes later, I show up smiling. She tells me about the visitors. We had a good laugh when I told her why I missed them.
See, masturbation does have many health benefits.
“Masturbation is indeed a “hurtful desire.” It is also “uncleanness,” for it is an immoral practice, and this explains why the masturbator generally is ashamed of himself and hides his repugnant act from the sight of others.”
“….abnormal, mentally deranged people are notorious masturbators….many mentally disturbed priests and nuns are chronic masturbators.”
-Watchtower 1973, September 15th
“Masturbation can lead to homosexuality.”
-The Youth Book, page 44
It's so great that Jehovah gave the governing body new light regarding masturbation. (booming god voice): it's not as bad as you think, just keep it on the down-low and TRY to stop
-but, God, we had a whole chapter that masturbation leads to homosexuality in the red youth book.
pretend it never happened, like the great job you did deciding the fate of those pesky people in Malawi.
I've read all your comments, Rabbitt, I'm glad you were saved from a situation by spanking..., all of your comments were funny as hell and much appreciated.
The part that made me the maddest was when the father said he "conquered" the habit, lying bastard! Tell me what you think? http://www.watchtower.org/e/200611a/article_01.htm
me thinks you're upset because it knocks your habits :)
Oh please! enslaved in the habit of masturbation? How does spanking your monkey/johnson enslave you. It actually relieves stress, pleasures you and makes you happy. Your hand never argues with you. Nor does it discuss the daily text with you. Your hand never says it has a headache, is lonely and wants to talk, nor does it turn you down when you are horny.
Old saying. A man is a liar if he says he never masturbated, and an even bigger liar if he says he has quit!!!!!!!
