Welcome Elyse! Our situations are similar. I faded after moving a year ago. Finally just stopped. You and I had the triple treatment for guilt: abuse, alcoholism and JW's. I have 3 kids, 12, 9, and 2, my husband left the org 8 yrs ago. We also did our first Halloween this year and I am already buying Xmas stuff. My mom-in-law knows about it, but my mom does not. My sister, whose late husband was the SO in their hall, left at the same time I did. Our brother never got baptized. Our dad died 13 yrs ago, just after being reinstated. He took too many pain pills, accidentally, with a good shot of whiskey.
May I say this, you and your husband are adults. You are able to make decisions for your family, no guilt or excuses involved. I told my mom-in-law that it was our family's business and we couldn't be happier. End of story. Although I know how hard it is to let go of that guilty feeling, keep trying so you and your family can live a great life. You are doing a great thing by helping your mom out, by the way.
momzcrazy