I wonder what I will find here...and how do I find what I need here?
I've got a great quote for you.
You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
Yogi Berra
So I suggest you spend some time writing down what your ideal life would look like. What would you like to be doing in five years? Will you be living where you are now? What sort of friends will you have? How will your children turn out? What sorts of fears will you have overcome?
I'm searching for a place to fit in....with all my complex emotional issues and all the pain and suffering and misjudgements of a life time of being affiliated with an organization that was mean to me in all ways possible, both subtle and subversive.
Sounds like we're the right place.
I know we all have stories...ins and outs....wouldn't it be nice to be compensated for it?
I'm not so sure that compensation is the best way to get justice. My gut tells me the best way to overcome an abusive past is to cut our losses. Walk away. They've lost their power to control what we do. The next freedom is to take away their power to dominate our thoughts and emotions. Even thoughts about "You dirty rotten....why do you do it?" sucks up an awful amount of emotional energy.
Due to a twist of circumstance, I've got to face my abuser in a couple weeks. I haven't talked to him in over twenty years. I've been curious, I admit, how well he has fared after all this time. He looks about the same, though a little heavier in the jowls. The sight of him, thank God, no longer sets me to flight. He's not scary any more, just scuzzy and old. On the other hand, I am in no mood to hear his toxic, blame-filled talk. We'll see how well I do on the day.
What am I looking for? I never felt part of the community of JW's anyway...always felt like I didn't fit in...so...is this the place for me?
I'll give a small word of caution. No group is going to fit you perfectly. You will have good days and bad days here. Take the good, I say, and ignore the rest.