When Elders go too Far...

by BigBloomerz 50 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

  • Steve_C
    Steve_C

    Even though this wasn't the point of the OP, I'd like to address the "gay and married with kids" confusion that some posters here have indicated.

    My wife and I were both raised JWs. We married "in the truth" at age 23. However, I had homosexual feelings from an early age (although, of course, I felt horribly guilty about this, being a JW and all). I wanted to fit into the JW and cultural "norm", so I began dating in the congregation and eventually married, hoping that I would be "cured through holy spirit" or whatever. I even went to the elders before I got hitched and told them of my "leanings." Their sage advice? Get married! I did tell my future wife of the one same-sex experience I had, but dismissed it as teen experimentation.

    Flash forward 14 years and three kids later. I "played the part" of theocratic, hetero male, but the marriage was obviously suffering, as was our meeting attendance, etc. I finally came out to my wife in 1999. The real shocker was that she ended up coming out to me also! She too, from her adolescence, felt that she was a lesbian, and had also approached the elders before the wedding, getting the same advice as me...get married. It seems we both wanted to "please Jehovah" (and not buck the prevailing culture) and ended up in a sham marriage. Thanks for the "theocratic direction," oh great body of elders.

    Anyway, just wanted to let the skeptical ones commenting on this thread know that yes, you can be gay and be married with kids, especially if you're part of an organization that tries to control your life. Perhaps in the OP's scenario, the wife of the gay man doesn't divorce because she doesn't have "scriptural grounds"? Perhaps they stay together for the kids? Financial reasons? Alimony/Child Support issues? Could be many reasons.

    Postscript: Although, naturally, there was little passion in our marriage, my ex and I did become the best of friends, and continue to be so, while we continue raising our children together. We left the JWs in 1999 and finally began exploring our true orientations. We're so much happier now; we no longer have to "play straight" and we no longer feel worthless because of JW browbeating/mind control/etc.

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