Someone else new & could do with as much help as they can get.

by Mr. Majestic 34 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Mr. Majestic

  Wow, I am just so overwhelmed right now.

  Thank you so much everyone. Such kindness and compassion. So much I would like to say to you all but it would be another epistle.

  Just to say that I did go for help a few years ago, and I went a few times to the Doctor, but I don’t know that it did much. Hard to convey the truth to someone who doesn’t know much about it. I don’t think that it is quite as good in England as elsewhere. I am lucky to have a few people (apostates oddly enough) to lean on, but I am just worried about leaning on them too much. But they are really helping.

  It is the problem of facing the world that is so hard at the moment (especially on your own). Can’t tell you how much fear. I am taking small steps to get out, but just come away feeling alien (early days). I’m trying some sport clubs right now.

  But the hollow and void the "truth" (sorry, untruth) leaves is difficult as well at the moment. Such a sense of loss and empty. Just some practical help, any tip that has helped anyone would really be welcome.

  One last thing, I don’t think that I am quite in the pit of depression just yet, but I know that it is not too far from here, and for me it is the wrong time of year. This has been the main reason for asking you all for help and advise, before I get to that point. I know that if I hit a down, then I will be too weak. And that is why I really need and appreciate your support right now.

  Thank you all again so much,

  Mr.M
• 

  Mincan

  Dude, I'm on a downslide right now too. Nothing that usually gives me joy is doing it.

  We both need therapy, and know that many of us are going through this kind of thing.

  I just try to find at least two things every day that make live worth living, and not ending it. I don't know, maybe not a good way of thinking, but it usually helps me.

  Today I went for a bike ride with my cousin. So today I reflected that getting to know my cousin and having his friendship would end if I killed myself, also that I wouldn't get to ride my bicycle anymore, and I really love my bicycle, man I'm getting so good at endurance... this makes me happy too... see little sh*t like this.

  I try not to focus on what's driving me crazy, which is social isolation and no female companionship. Tonight I was told I can easily get hooked up with people that just want sex, but that idea is repulsive to me on an intellectual level, just gotta keep thinking about it and not get crazy. I also have to avoid various contacts I have for weed. I want weed so badly right now...damn.
• 

  AuldSoul

  (((Mr. Majestic)))

  Sorry this post is so long. I won’t do it again. But any suggestions as to what to do next would really be appreciated. The heart is beyond breaking point. It needs input and any patch work just won’t work. The heart knows what it needs, and is very sick and ill because of never having its needs met. The trouble with the heart is if it dies, then so do you...

  Let me rewrite that bit for you, if you don't mind:

  I know this post is long, but I had a lot to get out of me. Any suggestions as to what to do next would really be appreciated. I am beyond the breaking point. I need, and a patch work just won’t fill the need. I know what I need, and I am very sick and ill because of never having my needs met. The trouble with me is if I die, then so does my heart...

  I hope you don't mind the rewrite, but it seemed to me you were putting distance between yourself and your needs by using the metaphorical heart as a spacer. When you look at it like this therapy might seem like a much more reasonable possibility. Possibly even an immediate need.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
• 

  worldtraveller

  Hello Mr.M. Although I have never been a Witness, I was lectured for many years and after starting to verify all that I heard, I was dismayed by all the psyco-babble. (No need to explain what I discovered). This board helped explain why all I heard and read started to make less and less sense.

  I suspect you are dismayed by all you have figured out. It basically means you were able to make independant conclusions on your research. That shows intelligence.

  As far as losing your religion, there is little to worry at this time. The first thing you should work on is getting your faith back-simply you need to have faith in yourself. So things went wrong. I had really messed up parents-so bad, one of my brothers had to kill himself at 35. Don't look back. Look up John3:16 and remember being saved is not something you have to purchase.

  I have faith, but no religious affiliation. Some here have given up. I absolutely accept that. What I cannot except is people suffering inside. It can shorten your life . So take a step or 2 back and remember not everyone on this planet is out to get you. Good luck and tell us about your progress (even day to day is good).
• 

  avengers

  Hey. You can always come over to my place and we'll have a couple of s.

  lol

  Andy
• 

  JK666

  Mr. M,

  I am glad you are here, and shared your story. We all have our war wounds from growing up as JW. School sucked for me too. Besides, it was unnecessary because the "Big A" was going to come before I graduated. (in 1974!)

  Try to get busy with life. You are starting well with your first post - I like you already! You will gain a lot of great friends here.

  JK
• 

  sass_my_frass

  Hello Mr Majestic and welcome! Thank you for your story. You poor kid, what hell.

  (Majestic)

  Now, you need a reason to live. Okay, it's a stretch but, for me it was often that I realised that this is it - you don't get another go if you end this life. We only get one chance to get what we want from life. The challenge is working out what that is and making it happen. Maybe you don't have sufficient value in yourself to think that you should get something out of life. I hope that you can fix that. In the meantime, brainstorm right now fifty things that you'd like to do within the next year. Then pick a few that you know can make happen.

  Keep doing that for a few years, and one of them will really catch your interest. You can make that the reason to stay alive.

  Keep it together bro
• 

  sass_my_frass

  Re that empty pit; you absolutely have to fill it up with something else. We had a big thing that was everything to us. Now it's a big hole. It's hard to find something that fits into it and fills it, but you have to keep looking. You gotta be brave.
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  Clam

  Mr Majestic welcome to the board. There's nothing I can really add that hasn't been said by the others. Just to say keep posting and stay in the loop. You're one of us now.

  Clam
• 

  purplesofa

  I read your story, just wanted you to know

  purps