Your votes will decide: Farewell party for loyal dub VS. Ex-JW meetup

OnTheWayOut

Okay. I am leaving this up to JWD votes. Please don't just attack the dubs and
vote the other way because of personal feelings. Actually think about it and consider
that I am very concerned for my wife. Here's the deal:

My wife's best friend is moving away and the farewell party is upcoming. While her
best friend is a totally loyal dub pioneer, she has never shunned me. She does throw
in the obligatory, "When are you coming back to the meetings?" whenever she greets
me, but she moves past it, then treats me like a regular human being. She says that
the wife and I are welcome to visit her and stay in her home in the new location. While
I am positive that she means it, of course she means it as long as I am not DA'ed or
DF'ed, but I don't think she would withdraw her invitation because I remain inactive.
Her party would be attended by the entire congregation (same one wife and I belong to)
and I feel obligated to attend for her sake and the wife's sake. It is fair to remind everyone
of the last dub event I attended where the elders actually avoided eating with me, at
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/141876/1.ashx.

On the other hand, at the same time as the party, the local Ex-JW Meetup takes place.
I have tried to make this once-a-month event for nearly a year now. I was either at work, or
out of town, or was spending time with the wife after her JW indoctrination sessions (meeting).
While I am a fader, I don't openly tell her that I want to meet with ex-JW's so I would
just have to refuse to tell her the whole truth of where I am at. (Please, no judgment on that.
Try to understand a fader without advising him to tell the JW's to f*** off.) This would be the
first time I attended such a meeting. I hear not many actually show up, but I am looking for
friends who would be of support, and I have not met any of the ones who would be there.

SO THERE IT IS. I will count your vote on this and maybe bump to the top a few times.

nvrgnbk

I think you already have your answer within you.

Trust your instincts, without fear.

It's usually when we ignore our instincts that we come to deeply regret later.

Good luck, OTWO.

BFD

There will always be another meet-up to attend. It sounds like it would mean a lot to your wife and her friend if you attended her farewell party.

My vote is go to the party with your wife.

BFD

OnTheWayOut

I think you already have your answer within you.
Trust your instincts, without fear.

I can picture you as a green Jedi saying "Use the force."

Seriously, I just don't know if I should be there or not.

megsmomma

I agree....It seems to me that it would be more beneficial to go with your wife. It is always good for her to observe the "loving" way the elders treat you, ya know!

Also, even though you may not have met the people from JWD in person.....you know where you can always come to get support. Meeting in person is not required!

Plus, I just get the feeling you know the right thing to do is go to the dub party....but you were hoping for enough to vote for the fun party!!LOL!

journey-on

I'm with Nvr on this one.

However...your wife's best friend? It would probably mean a lot to your wife. It's not like you would be going to a meeting or anything.

If you go, take your "seeds" with you and be on the watch in case you get to plant one here and there. And, if you go, have fun and

don't even let the holier-than-thou righteous-assed stuck-ups even concern you. Don't allow anyone to shun you. Go right up to them

with a big smile on your face and crack a joke or something. MAKE 'em squirm, my friend. (Not in an obnoxious way, though. You wouldn't

want to embarrass your wife.)

ex-nj-jw

Can you make an appearance to the dub thing and then skip out early and catch the apostate thing? If it means peace at home you may want to catch the next ex-jw meetup and go with wifey!

If you do go to the dub thing and they give you any shit, leave and go have some real fun!

nj

OnTheWayOut

Can you make an appearance to the dub thing and then skip out early and catch the apostate thing?

To make this crystal clear, the wife tries to make sure we spend time together. She hates
driving long distances by herself. This affair is way out in the boondocks. If I went, we would
go together, and I could not cut on her. The best friend would not be able to bring her home,
nor anyone else really. There are some dubs that live not too far from us, that she could
have ride in her car, but she would really expect me to ride with her. That would be her
"balance" view- she went to the meeting, then spent time in the car talking with me.
Bringing a second car to cut out of there would be difficult and frowned upon, but it could
be done- but doesn't score points with the wife.

changeling

You know the answer to this one.

You love your wife. Do what's best for her.

changeling

RisingEagle

FWIW, my thinking is that the party is for the friend of your wife's and since she eventually gets over the jw mind game, reverts to being your friend also. It's a one-time event to tell her goodbye and show her support for her move. I'm sure your wife will appreciate you being there and keeping the wagging toungues of the congregation nincompoops from asking her questions about you. To quote dub speak you'll 'heap coals onto the head' of the others in attendance by being nice to them.

The ex-jw's will miss you but will understand your absence. Ex-jw's tend to be a forgiving lot.

Your votes will decide: Farewell party for loyal dub VS. Ex-JW meetup

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