This is what my mother told me about sex:
1. The man enjoys it, you won't but you have to because it's your duty
2. Don't sit next to a boy in a car cause you'll get pregnant
3. Sex is only for procreation, that's why god made it
This is how I handled my kids (all boys)
I don't believe that sex is sinfull. But I do expect you to have a high level of respect and maturity about it. Don't kiss and tell, NO means NO at all times even if you are just about to put it in! Always Always protect your self by wearing a condom ( a new one each and every time).
I gave out condoms starting at age 13. Why? Because I remember what I was doing at age 13 and I'd rather them be protected than caught unprotected and say "well it's the first time, nothing will happen". I figured that they were masturbating when the showers became 20 to 30 minutes vs the normal 5 minutes and wash clothes were disappearing to be found later balled up in the corner stiff as a board. Where the hell are all my towels? I don't want to know what's on it just get and wash it! I made it clear that by no means were they to throw used towels in closet or behind beds. Clean your mess up and leave my towels alone. Showers well, just don't leave anything slippery in there for me to fall on. Their response "ma"!!!!
I never made sex an issue, never preached abstinence, instead I talked to them about STD's (being a nurse you get all kinds of visual stuff to show them) and teenage pregnancy. They never felt embarrassed because my husband and I never made a big deal out of sexuality. If we were watching TV or a movie and a sex scene came up we just continue to watch, did not cover their eyes or make them leave the room. It just wasn't a big deal. If they walked in the room and I was undressing, not a big deal I continued to dress made no rush to cover or make them feel embarrassed or that I was embarrassed. The hubby feels it's his right as man of the house to walk around naked as a jay bird when he feels like it! They think he's crazy but you know hey that's dad They obviously know what's up when we tell them to go out and don't come home without calling first , my kids will never say my mom and dad don't have sex, they may say EWWW but they know what's up.
Above all, know your children. Try not to make the "sex talk" too formal, the topic can come up anytime. Once we were in the car driving and the youngest said, hey ma what does chocking the chicken mean? I told him it means when a man/boy masturbates, he please himself sexually. He said oh ok, can we get pizza tonight? End of discussion. He was 7 years old. Not to mention he was my big question asker, I really think the two older ones put him up to most of it. But the questions got answered, they knew that I would not go balistic on them and they were comfortable with asking. That is the most important part for me!
So good luck my friend, it's all worth it in the end to have happy well adjusted, respectfull young men and women!
nj