Talking to non-baptized teenagers about sex. Ideas sought. (page 2)

BrentR

Our daughter is in a private school that does not teach sex ed at all. They do that at the overwhelming request of the parents (ie customers). My wife and I started teaching her when she started asking questions. This was accelerated by the fact we have quite a few animals that do what animals do each spring and does not go un-noticed by our daughter. That has a way of pushing up the schedule by a few years.

We intend that by the time she starts her teens that all the bases have been completely covered. That will include all the gory pictures of the affects of STD's and a electronic training baby to enlighten her to how much work they are.

As a side note I have two friends that ae both public school teachers that work in districts that are so screwed up they are both home and private school advocates. Go fiqure.

Open mind

Scully:

Thanks for the link. Unfortunately, my employer's firewall says it's too dirty for break-time viewing. (I wonder if Bethel programmers helped design our firewall software as a G-Job?)

Brent R:

Thanks for your food for thought. Especially the pictures and 'electronic baby'.

As for public schools in our area, it's pretty affluent, so it's not as bad as some. Far from perfect, but I think the good outweighs the bad for our kids.

Open Mind

BrentR

We live outside a small town of around 24000 and there are three private schools with a waiting list. The local school district is in very bad condition. There is the rule of thumb that the number of private schools in a given area is in direct proportion of the quality of the public schools.

I am glad you are in a good one because it is much less expensive.

Open mind

Just to make sure the scope of this thread remains fairly wide:

How many of you actually had good communication with your parents about sex?

What worked?

What was stupid?

What did you wish they had told you?

What should they have left out?

Open Mind

Abaddon

Well, if I was uncomfortable talking about sex I'd probably put 'Something About Mary' on, and when the masturbation scene came up laugh and say "it's incredible how those idiot JW's can say something as natural and healthy as masturbation is wrong" and improvise from there.

If I were a teenager being approached in the rather formal way you suggest would freak me out a bit. Maybe that's me...

My daughter (now seventeen) came to live with me last year and has just about got used to my fiance fervent 'been masturbating since, well, seven or something' jill-off advocacy. She's thus far avoided being dragged into a vibrator showroom by her; having received one from her mum at 14 she's keen to do the same to her step-daughter. We just talk about sex very openly and my daughter now reacts and responds like a young adult instead of the rather more schoolgirlish attitude of before (icky! or giggles)

I think it is just possible they may know masturbation is perfectly normal and are quite good at it but will be dreadfully embaressed their talking to a parent about sex.

That only disappears if you do it so it's not a big deal anymore; whether that exposure is through humourous, direct, or formal methods.

Oh, I'd also recommend leaving a big-ass sex manual lying around; something like the 'The Guide to Getting It On' by Goofyfoot Press.

How many of you actually had good communication with your parents about sex?

Not me

What worked?

Nothing

What was stupid?

Everything

What did you wish they had told you?

Something useful or untwisted by coyness or religious prudery.

What should they have left out?

The Chapter in the Great Teacher book that represented my sex education outside school

bigwilly

I recommend use of props

bigwilly

In all seriousness, it sounds like you've got a pretty good approach lined up. At least your local education covers the basics and I like that you are making it a point to destigmatize masturbation as much as possible.

Abaddon seems to have a very well adjusted view on the subject. I know that the "sex talk" with my parents was more awkward than the subject itself since they went about it all wrong.

Basically, by making it a non-issue and keeping communication open (tho not forced) should make a world of difference.

BFD

OM,

You are such a loving parent. I think it's great. As I remember it when my mom () had "the talk" with me it went something like this...

BFD's mom > blahblah

BFD > TMI

Good luck.

Scully

You could always start out by watching that Seinfeld episode where George puts his mother in the hospital....

master of your domain... lol

restrangled

We've never really discussed this as a family, nor do I want to, as there's no way I'm gonna endorse the WT "anti-masturbation" message.
Any suggestions on how I can let my kids know they won't "go blind"? I Wikipedia'd "Masturbation" and it's got a pretty good article, but to be honest, I think my kids might be repelled by the drawing of a guy "burping the worm" right at the start of the article.
So, any ideas on pros and cons of discussing masturbation? Suggested articles

How about leaving it alone.....its a private matter for each individual and exstremely embarassing to be brought up anywhere, anytime, or any HOW!

I'll repeat a little story here. The Awake or Watchtower came out with an article on masturbation during the early 70's. I didn't even know what it was. My Mother decided we needed to have a "study" about the article with my girlfriends and their mother. So their we sat going over the article, red faced, cringing beyond belief about things we didn't understand.

Several weeks later we had all figured it out, and how to do it! Thank you WBTS!!!!

When my boys came of age my husband made sure that they understood anything they saw in magazines or all the porno on the internet or movies was not reality. That "real" girls don't behave that way or want that sort of behaivor from them. Also that the majority of real women don't even look that way...so get over it!

My oldest son has had more girlfirends than I can count, and the younger one, watches his friends and their problems with girls and says he can wait till he is through with school....."he doesn't need the drama."

Take or leave my suggestions.....

r.

r

Talking to non-baptized teenagers about sex. Ideas sought.

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