Mormhovaologists Back Romney
Sat Sep 29, 2007 at 08:28:23 PM PDT
In a stunning move, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, the Watch Tower Bible and Tract Society of the Jehovah's Witnesses and the Sea Organization of the Church of Scientology have pooled their human, financial and field organizations into a new political action committee to get Mitt Romney elected President.
- tbrucegodfrey's diary :: ::
AP (Clearwater, FL) - "Today, we look forward to a new era for our Church," announced Church of Scientology spokesperson Catherine Wilkens. "Through out strategic partnership with the Watchtower and with our new partners in Salt Lake City, we are fully confident that we can get a man who truly reflects our forward-looking values and ambitions for a truly world-wide outreach to clear our planet of its ills. Our founder L. Ron Hubbard would be proud."
Standing at a podium clasping hands with vice-president the Reverend Jeremiah Dawkins of the Jehovah's Witnesses' Brooklyn-based Watch Tower Society and James Faust, the "Second Counselor" and third executive official of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, Wilkens announced the formation of a new political action committee - Door Knock 2008 - to facilitate the election of LDS member Mitt Romney as the Republican Presidential nominee and ultimately as U.S. President.
"We are 144,000 strong in this life and the next," announced Rev. Dawkins. "While we do not see eye to eye with our partners on every issue today, we are confident that President Romney will move us closer to the end times predicted in the Bible, and we are proud to put our experienced door-to-door outreach volunteers to good service."
"We are so proud of Brother Mitt!" Second Counselor Faust shouted, "and we look forward to seeing him as the next President of the United States!"
The formation of Door Knock 2008 came after tense negotiations between multiple potential coalition partners. Early consideration had been given to involving the Unitarian Universalist Association and the Libertarian Party of the United States, but strategic analysis led to the rejection of those bids, according to reports.
Representative Pete Stark (D-CA), a long-time Unitarian who recently came under scrutiny and criticism for his self-identification as a non-theist, commented on the UUA's failed bid. "You cannot have a bunch of religious liberals just going up to a door and, when asked, explain that they felt a vague duty to knock on the door, but for no particular theological or spiritual reason."
Rep. Stark noted the culture clashes that Unitarian activists might have faced. "We are non-patriarchal, non-literalist, non-creedal, pro-mental health care for all and pro-science. So we would have had even less reason to knock on the door to spread the message of either Mitt Romney or our potential coalition partners. We do our best proselytizing at monthly non-sexist organic coffee houses - yet another problem, no coffee with our separated brethren from Utah."
LPUSA national spokesman Billy Conway "B.C." Budd of the Libertarian Party was unavailable due to his attendance at the LPUSA's national convention, held at the LPUSA's newly purchased permanent headquarters and convention center in Vancouver, British Columbia.
Spokesmen from the Mitt Romney campaign declined comment, citing federal laws governing finance and campaign coordination. Analysts praised the coalition, noting the ethnic, geographic and administrative balancing of the coalition partners. The Scientologists bring an administrative base in Florida, a crucial swing state, along with number of
front allied organizations and a strong skill base in fundraising and intelligence gathering. The Watch Tower has relatively few registered voters due to Jehovah's Witnesses' principles against cooperating with the state, but it more than makes up for that weakness with urban field operations and infamous persistence in the face of tough audiences of homeowners. The LDS church brings a solid voting bloc, a corps of young clean-cut missionary men accustomed to challenging work and superb record-keeping; they often reach where the Jehovah's Witnesses cannot.
Some critics questioned whether such a coalition could put Romney in a potentially difficult conflict based on Romney's core beliefs, while others cast severe doubt as to whether that would become a practical issue for this candidate.