Mary That is a very common issue and my mother also used that to explain why she was keeping him in the home and sending my aunt and I away. She needed him to help her support the younger children. Like a good little girl I accepted that for many years.
It was only until I got into counseling in my late 30s I realized just how sick that was. The little kid needed to believe she was protecting me and helping her care for the younger kids. It hurt a lot to finally realize what she had done.
An interesting note here is that my mother has had 3 relationships with men who sexually abused their daughters
- married to my father who,
- who abused me
- has been accused of raping another child who later became his step-daughter
- not married but considered as common-law husband who
- abused his 3 daughters in his first marrage and
- 3 children when he was with my mother
- and left her to later marry a woman with foster daughters
- her second marriage to a non-JW man who
- sexually abuse at least one of his daughters in his first marriage and
- my sister accused him of trying to abuse her and my mother denied it happened and sent her to foster care
The abusers don't change. But the women don't change either. They find many ways of letting the men off the hook. Denial is a huge factor when dealing with these mothers