As a JW, alot of us lead double lives. I know I did.
In talking about our situations with my sister in law, realized that I now lead a double life as a "fader"!!! (We all are to some extent.)
My husband and I are "out" of the religion (my brother, sister in law and the kids too) but for the sake of family, they think we are still "in" although they know we are not active. There are things we'd like to do, but can't for fear of being DF'd etc. At this point, now that my brother and his family are out, there are not too many of my family that I would care about if they shunned me (I don't think my mother would). We're not so sure about my husband's family, how they would react.
We've actually been tallking about making a major move, start over where no one knows we ever were JW's, so we can feel free to do some of the things we'd like to without the fear of elder so and so spying on our every move!
I can now see why people DA themselves, just so they can be free of everything! I'm not quite there yet, but maybe someday. *sigh*
BB