I'd be in my final year of nursing school if I didn't quit

by Younglove1999 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • Younglove1999

    About 3 years I decided enough of being "content" with the fact that I had a decent job, if I was going to work, i wanted to do something that I loved.

    I've always wanted to get into medicine. But being that I was 23, married, owned a home, worked full time and never went to college, it wasn't going to work out for me to just enter into college and then proceed onto medical school. Plus, I was a JW, who would do that?

    Well, I finally got the guts to enroll into the community college into their Associate Registered Nurse program. The whole thing would take 3-4 years and I would end up graduating with my Associates degree and with a license to be a registered nurse. It was something I wanted to do, and since the school was in the same town as my job, my boss was willing to work with me and give me flex hours so that I could attend a class in the middle of the work day- etc. I didn't have any classes on meeting nights and as long as i stuck with the schedule I could handle school, work and spiritual things. I should mention that at this time I wasn't handling my spirtual things anyways, but hey the time was always there to work on it-now I just had to be more "strict" since my time would be more used up with school.

    I had no problem in school and at work. I was making the deans list and very very proud of the fact that I passed Anatomy and Physiology at the top of the class, that my English Professor said I was an awesome write and had so much potential, etc. etc. etc. Work was great, my boss was so impressed that I could juggle things.

    My spiritual growth was still stagnent as it had always been. Except now the "blame" was because of school and work. Funny how that morphed. After a year I realized that I was putting all my energy into school and nothing into the organization and felt guilty. I shouldn't do this for the next 3 years because what if armageddon comes and I'm in the middle of mid-terms? i was doing so well at school though! and it was only 3 years! But the "guilt" got the best of me and reluctantly I quit school. And no my service time did not improve, my personal study did not progress- spritually, nothing changed. I just now had free time to watch TV-

    I've since been promoted at work and enjoy my new responsiblities and love the company I work for, but to this day I can't watch a medical show without getting a pang in my heart. I want to work in that field! I could have been done by now.

    I had so much potential. Right now with a new baby and a new home, I just can't juggle going back to school right now.

    My goal someday is to go back and not only become a nurse, but to become a Midwife-

    I just wanted to share my story because I'm feeling melancholy about the things I missed out because of the stupid JW "reasoning".


  • oompa

    You can and will get this done. A close friend of mine was an EMT like 25 years ago, and so wanted to be a nurse that at age 40 she went back to shcool and now has a job as an RN at the local hospital. Do as much study as you can with an online program and make sure the credits will apply later.

    You can do it....oompa

  • OnTheWayOut

    I will admit that I didn't go to college, but it had nothing to do with JW's.
    I will admit that pursuit of my great job today was generally frowned upon by JW's,
    but it was after 1995, and I didn't care what the BOE thought. They didn't remove
    me for achieving my minor success in career, even though it meant missing some
    meetings. (Yahoo)

    It is never too late, but I still don't want to go to college. Many posters have gone
    back, though. If you are happy with what you got, it isn't necessary but move on
    from what could have been and make it be what you want it to be.

    As Yoda said, "Let go. Use the force."

  • tula

    Some of your old credits may still apply. Check into it. You may not have to repeat as much as you think. Also, there have probably been a lot of changes since you were in school, so that could be to your advantage also.

  • shell69

    Babes; Big ((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))) to you.

    If this is what you really want you will do it one day. It may not be immediately, you may find more children/(eek!) and family responsabilities come your way, but one day soon these things will subside, and you will have the time, determination and support to be everything you ever wanted to be.

    I understand you feeling melancholy. Our association with the borg only places sooo much guilt onto our shoulders. But you time for the carreer of your choice will come.

    In the mean time, with sincere regards, and all the very best that life has to offer you;;;; enjoy your time with your little one


  • Younglove1999

    thanks everyone-
    I am determined at some point to go back and get my degree in nursing-

    It's strange because before I "woke up", I always had such a dismal outlook of the future which is quite the oxymoron being that I was a JW and had the "hope" of everlasting life! I don't know, I just didn't seem to get excited about anything- just kind of went with the flow not having any structure in my life because why start anything if the new system is going to come- Thankfully my husband had a more balanced view and we started 401K's as soon as we got jobs at the age of 20, bought a house to build equity, etc. But still, the desire to go and try things, explore, etc. always seemed to be stumped by the "teachings" of the WTS- use your free time to study, go out in service, etc. I actually did not look forward to the time where I could work less/retire because then it meant that I had to put more time into something spiritual and if I couldn't, then it would be proposterous of me to devote time to secular things. Now that I don't have that "responsibility" hanging over me, I feel like a whole world of opportunity has opened up for me.

    I suddenly have the desire and motivation to try new things- Yoga, going for a walk, starting projects around the house, taking a course, learning a language, traveling, etc. Some of these things, a Witness would argue, are not forbidden in the organization but it was ingrained in my head that if I didn't put spiritual things first, then I couldn't do these other things. So since I wasn't really actively pursing my spiritual goals, I felt I just couldn't go and do something else- hence I actually just became lazy.

    kind of like those Saturday or Sunday mornings where you felt like you HAD to sleep in or act sick the whole day if you missed service or meeting- I mean, you couldn't just miss a meeting and then go out for a long run kwim? Now since I've stopped going, we actually get up bright and early and go for long walks, work on projects- it's great.

    I'm blabbing now- but it's nice to know I have my future to do what I want to do without having to feel guilty. I'm going to spend my retirement/free time MY own way and you know what? The future finally looks good.

  • Scully

    Please don't give up your dream. Don't call it quitting. Call it taking a leave of absence. Sometimes that's what you need to do, and it's perfectly ok.

    Find out how long your school will allow you to keep your nursing credits - often you can pick up where you left off when you're ready, provided it's within the institution's time frame.

    I know how hard it is to juggle a family and nursing school. I did it myself, starting in my early 30s with 3 young children, and put the "spiritual demands" of being a JW on the back burner while I did. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself and my family. Like you, I made the dean's list with a 4.0 GPA and was top of my class. By the time I was finished, I had no desire to return to the JWs, but I had an amazing new nursing career that I am still passionate about almost 10 years later.

    Check into your school's academic achievement scholarships and grants. There is a lot of financial assistance available for people returning to school and for women with families. A student loan sounds like a lot of money, but it's worth the investment. You are worth the investment. You might also be able to take classes online or on campus on a part time basis to lighten your course load when you are ready to go back to a full time course load.

    If you're interested in chatting further, feel free to send me a PM. It sounds like we have a lot in common!

  • tula

    You might want to check into some grant options, too. It's not a loan, its a free gift of money to continue school. There are lots of small grants you can apply for...I think clairol has a small grant for women wanting to return after hiatus.

  • greendawn

    It's a shame you harmed your future prospects under the influence of the JW propaganda but nowadays there are many distance learning courses where you can study flexibly usually through the internet, while working at teh same time.

    Learning has been revolutionised by ICT (information and communication technology). Physically attending the premises of a learning institution is becoming ever less important for most subjects.

  • mentalclearness

    I know exactly how you feel...Just be patient..When your baby is a bit more independent you can go back to nursing school...The world is your oyster now!!!!

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