I only ever met up with one guy who I'd met online, and that experience put me off (he was visibly disappointed as soon as he saw me!). My theory is that both parties talk themselves up slightly and assume that the other person hasn't. It's easy for me to build up a picture of somebody I have never met in person, and even though I have a lot of deep friendships with people I've met online I always assume that the way I imagine them is the way they are. That's not usually a problem unless they're a potential date. Anyway, back to you...
Well, the date was a let down. He WAS smart, interesting and somewhat playful- as his emails suggested. But his actions suggested a lack of interest or enthusiasm about meeting or getting to know me. I don't know if he was trying to play it cool or if he is clueless.
Re the logistics issues; don't take that personally. Some people just aren't in complete control of their day (and it's not the kind of thing you'd find out via email). He might not be able to organise his way out of a paper bag. It's not life-threatening but it's up to you whether you can tolerate it.
I tried to steer the conversation to get him off that subject so I could find out more about HIM and his ex-wives and life.
My first thought was that ex-wife conversations aren't really first date material. What did you think of the book he's writing?
Is it unreasonable to expect a man to ask me about myself and have conversational equity, rather than have one person monopolize the conversation? of course I was monopolizing the listening i.e. not talking
I agree; it really should be even. The problem might be that you don't actually have a lot of common interests, but that he was just pushing on to see what happened. My opinion is that it only takes a few minutes to work out whether you can get along with somebody; whether you have that 'instant connection'. I think that's mostly about having a similar sense of humour and level of intellect.
I'm also attracted to compassion. There were two things that alerted me that he was deficient there: to punish his kids, he'd make them exercise until they cried.
Oh yeah; ICK.
Then he told me that he admired JWs because they disfellowship people so that there are fewer hypocrites in the religion. (yeah, right)
oh, DOUBLE ICK.
Ah who knows. I always thought that it doesn't hurt to know more people.