So I told him I love him (page 3)

Es

Oh hun im so sorry, coming from personal experience even though its hard, its better to let them go, so they can discover what they feel for you.

My boyfriend was the same, I would say I love you and he would find it really hard to say it back, he eventually broke up with me as he didnt know what he wanted in life, or if he wanted to be with me.

So we broke up, and then 8 mths later he was begging me to get back together with him, I wasnt ready to so we stayed friends, and eventually got back together, got married and now expecting our second child together.

Sometimes them loosing what they have is enough to make them realise what a good thing they had.

All the best

es

Frequent_Fader_Miles

Sometimes them loosing what they have is enough to make them realise what a good thing they had.

I couldn't have said better! Sometimes we all may need a little push in order to make up our minds about something or the other. I agree with the other posters that a year is a long time ... more than enough to know how you feel about someone. Even if he doesn't SAY he loves you, how can he SHOW it, but then turn around and say he's not sure how he feels? I think moving on may be therapeutic for the both of you.

OnTheWayOut

Okay folks, read her last comment on page 1. She tells the guy she loves him and
she means it. She has been sending mixed signals and he is patient. He can't
say how he feels until he sees what she really wants. Don't keep telling her
advice without reading that last comment.

Give him some time, show him you love him (as you say you do). Hopefully,
everything will come together with you and with the two of you.

Frequent_Fader_Miles

OTWO - It's very easy to send mixed signals to someone you love when you're unsure about how they feel about you. Besides, isn't the guy also guilty of sending out mixed signals? As she says, he treats her well ... but then turns around and says he's not sure about how he feels about her? That certainly is a mixed signal!

sweetstuff

OTWO - It's very easy to send mixed signals to someone you love when you're unsure about how they feel about you. Besides, isn't the guy also guilty of sending out mixed signals? As she says, he treats her well ... but then turns around and says he's not sure about how he feels about her? That certainly is a mixed signal!

I totally agree FFM, besides, the OP seems very sweet and might be taking on blame she doesn't deserve. His comments of I am not sure, scream cop out! A couple posters said, well he is being honest, I think its more likely he is taking the chicken's way out and not being as honest as he should with her.

Thinking of Leaving

that's makes alot of sense what you're saying FFM, there must be a reason I send wrong signals sometimes and more than likely it's because of his indecision. Doesn't matter how much I love him if he doesn't feel the same way then it's not gonna work.

sounds like I have to make some serious decisions soon and I'm not looking forward to it.

sweetstuff

TOL, wish you all the best, whatever you decide.

JWdaughter

OTWO made some insightful comments that I think you may want to pay attention to.

That he is loveable does not mean that you love him. He could be "all that and a bag of chips", but if you are caught up in guilt and sentimentality about the loss of your virginity (to this guy?), then perhaps you are confused. He may be unsure because he doesn't feel confident in the relationship.

Just FYI, being in a relationship where you are unsure of your or his feelings is a recipe for disaster. Be confident or don't bother. Best of luck to you both. Sounds like a great guy for someone-maybe you.

Shelly

shopaholic

TOL, I feel your pain. I'm often reminded that men think and respond differently than women but I would think that a 42-year old knows what he wants. I would recommend taking a break from this guy if something in your gut tells you something isn't right. If its simply because he didn't say 'I Love You', well from what I hear men are pretty slow about pulling that line out of their pocket.

One of the reasons I remained in the truth for as long as I did was this brother that dated on and off for 10 years, waiting for him to get his act together. Then one day, just out of the blue he says that he thinks he'll marry someone asian. This guy turns 40 this year, is a virgin and has a problem with porn and masterbation. It took a couple of girlfriends to get me to wake up and really see things for what they were. I do think sometimes we put unfair pressure on each other in relationships but I also believe that when you get a certain age and you are stable in the head you know what you want and don't play games.

Are you sure you're really in love with this guy? Maybe its the fact that you were intimate with him. I'm a virgin as well and I know all the bumping and grinding I did with that idiot brother is what got me stuck on him. Also if you want kids, I would recommend you move on and find someone that you feel truly loves you and is on your timetable. Yes, its painful to move on but not impossible.

Thats my 2cents.

So I told him I love him

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