two sides to every story. What did you do to make her so mad?
Share your crazy jw divorce behavior stories
by arker 23 Replies latest social relationships
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avidbiblereader
My ex realized that I was never going to do the witness thing fully anymore, before she left on "spiritual endangerment" grounds, she had me in front of two elders three weeks before she left, the charges, having a dinner with my sister who faded, not DF'd. As I prepared for the meeting as she went to FS, I met with the two elders and after three hours of them using only 2 scriptures and me using over 25 and coming in with a pile of bound volumn and then telling them that they deserved to be on a committe case for several serious wrongdoings that required Disfellowshipping, they said, "this meeting is over" and left rather quickly.
Three weeks later, my ex, left my daughter of 16 years old and me for "spiritual endangerment". I called the elders who refused to meet with me, refused to me with my ex and me but would meet with her father and her but never told my any details of their discussions. Using the Bible at 1 Cor 11:3 and 14:24,35, explained to them they were usurping the headship principle that they so often spoke about, there was silence on the other end and no return phone calls.
I called Headquarters to get a brother who deals with problems in our area, only to quote me from the WT and Awake as I used the Bible and eventually hung up on him in disbelief, as they only used their own printing over the Bible.
She did apply for the divorce, changed her name back in the first week of leaving. Her family likewise a week after her leaving came in as I took my daughter on a 5 day vacation to the ocean, cleaned me out of most of my furniture, all our antiques, raided what they wanted and broke the principle, "what God is sowing let no man put apart".
She eventually got her divorce 4 months later, took about 65-70% of everything after closing out our bank accounts the week before she left. The "brothers" didnt call me for 8 months until the judical case as 7 family members waited outside my apartment with my finance and they got me on "adultery".
The new Judical Case was not any different then the "investigation meeting" as the elders sat there and I used the Bible and questions as they just stared at the table for over an hour and fifteen minutes, humiliated and put to shame as they knew this was a kangaroo court and they never shepherded my daughter and myself for over 8 months. Two of the elders I use to shepherd all the time, years before, the other a co-worker for 12 years and knew of plenty of crap that he didnt let his pioneer wife know nor the elders, But they did what they were going to do anyway.
I refused to sit and watch 7 of her family members testify against me as I knew of two of them who lied deliberately to me during the whole separation thing, one a pioneer and the other an elder to protect their own family member. They DF'd me and I have moved on.
PS. No hard feelings, it was best in the long run, I wish them all the best!!!
abr
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tula
I just cant get over how you all have to ask permission for anything you do. I mean some of these things are just so personal. It's nobody's business. Why do JW's give their power away so easily?
I just started flipping through crisis of conscience and read a couple of pages where people actually wrote to WBTS to ask about what is sexually permissible in marriage. I was flabergasted. The control factor is just unbelievable. And the fact that people seem to like having someone tell them what to do.
I don't think the military is even THAT invasive into people's lives. Heck, not even my domineering parents asked such things nor advised on such matters.
Why would you bother to continue reasoning with the elders and trying to win? Did you actually think they would listen and consider your points? When did you realize it was to no avail?
After all they did, shouldn't you have been angry instead of continuing to get their approval?
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arker
I take it you are not an ex JW or have been in their organization? As amazing as it may seem that people give away their freedoms goes to show how coontrolling the organization is and should help you understand why so many people in the forum are here for support and encouragement.