HELP - Elders want to talk about Disassociation

Steven

Hi All,

I thought that this was all out of the way when 2 weeks ago my wife & I handed in letters of disassociation.

We have been since then trying to adjust & just when I thought I was getting somewhere - starting to feel normal again - I got a phone call 1hr ago from our presiding overseer saying that they haven't announced it yet & wanted to talk.

He is a very nice guy & I was caught totally unprepared so I put him off - said I would ring back later - 2pm'ish UK time.

Now I have that horrible feeling in my stomach again - help!

Basically, when it comes down to it I don't think we want them to come over - it will open us up too much & I don't want that.

Also, though, I want to sort it out; so I am thinking of just chatting to him for a bit on the phone.

I didn't really want to do this since it could knock their faith & also I am not fully ready to argue all of the facts with elders. However it looks like I will have to.

Anyway when it boils down to it they can argue away all of the facts like the UN thing etc. & we can disagree - however really its a matter of faith. Either we believe it all or we don't.

I don't but its all a bit raw for me....

I will be honest this is really messing me up - but it needs doing. The bottom line is there is no going back now...

Any thoughts?

Steven.

LittleToe

Steven:
If you want to email me, I'm online now 1:10pm, and will be for a while.
I'm in the process of extracting myself, as a British elder.
Alternatively, i can hit the "chat" with you.

LT

Steven

Hi LittleToe,

Can we go into chat? I will be in there...

Steven

Prisca

Hi Steven,

Sorry that you and your wife are going through this.

If you don't want to talk them, then don't. You're not under any compulsion to discuss with them ANYTHING.

They have no power over you - the only power is that which you give them.

So if you don't want to talk to them, then don't. Don't call the elder back and make excuses. He's the one who called you. Or if you do speak to him again, just explain that you do not wish to discuss anything with them. Again, make no excuses. You don't answer to them anymore, do you?

It is commendable that he has called you - there are some good ones left, and it's possible that he's worried about you. But you know the guy better than we do, so play it by ear.

I wish you all the best.

Fredhall

Steven,

My thought is to go back.

HoChiMin

Steven,

What your feeling is the remains of mind control. The elders are nobody and do not have any authority over anyone. You've already written a letter, so stick by it and do not be intimidated by a phone call from elders. "The bottom line is there is no going back now..." you are correct in this statement, so enjoy the freedom and explore the future free of the heave control.

HCM

nelly136

by writing your letter you were saying ...thanx but no thanx
whether theyve chosen to announce it or not is their problem not yours,
I put in my letter of resignation thinking that was the last I'd hear...wrong, unfortunately I didnt know back then I could have said
'GO AWAY and STOP HARRASSING ME' it never occurred to me that the elders had no real authority over me.
With hindsight I wouldnt even have bothered to write a letter,
let alone put up with the harrassment .It took a while to realise I
had no need to justify myself or my actions to them.
nice to meet another uk'er
nelly

Priscas right the only power they have over you
is what you allow them.

jayhawk1

The elders and the Circuit Overseer wanted to talk to me, but I said, "no thanks," that was the end of the conversation. My point is, you don't have to have them over if you do not want. Your point was made in your letter, and that should be the end of it. Hang in there, the first two months were the hardest for me. After that, you get a new outlook on life. One year from now, you will be a better person for it. Good luck to you and your wife.

"Hand me that whiskey, I need to consult the spirit."-J.F. Rutherford

Francois

Prisca is right. You can't be walked on unless you lie down first.

Think of the arrogance of this man, nice as he may otherwise be: you send a letter that in essense says "We don't want to be a part of your group any more. We aren't going to any meetings, we're not going to peddle JW publications door-to-door, we're not going to participate in anything having to do with the WTB&TS anymore."

And then this "elder" calls you and says, essentially, that they're not going to respect your wishes, that what they want, another meeting, takes precedence over your stated wishes, so you WILL have another meeting even though you've stated that you want no more of it.

They've really got a lot of respect for you don't they?

I know you're not me, but if you were, you'd drop a post-card in the mail that said something like "I said it's over, and it is. No meetings of any kind, for any reason, any more. Don't you dare come to my home, nor invade my privacy with a phone call, or you will hear from my attorney."

My two cents worth.

Francois

Richie

Wanting to disassociate yourself is fine and well and is your absolute right of personal decision but I still cannot understand why the organization would then disfellowship you... With other words, you stated that you want no part of the Org. and for them it's a death sentence on you and you are henceforth to be shunned at all cost...
Why not just respect your wishes from now on and treat you like a HUMAN BEING and continue to treat you in a kind and loving way by NOT disfellowshipping you...
Of course I know why....if the witnesses have this option, I believe that half of them throughout the world would take advantage to disassociate themselves and they would subsequently lose too many members!!

Richie :*)

You are the music as long as the music last...............

HELP - Elders want to talk about Disassociation

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