Thank you for all of the replies so far they have really helped my wife & I.
Well I did ring back eventually & here is a brief summary of what happened. Let me say that I wasn't sure exactly what I was going to say but that my intention was to let it be known that I had done nothing wrong, DIDN'T want to have a visit & definitely wanted to be disassociated NOT disfellowshipped. As LittleToe & Inquiry + others said - people assume you have done something, usually sexual wrong, when DF'ed but if disassociated then people may wonder why - plus I wanted it known that Lesley & I had made a decision to leave & had NOT been forced out or done anything wrong...
Anyway I was talking to the Cong. Presiding Overseer, who is actually a very nice bloke & has an enquiring mind - so hopefully I made him think...
I started by saying that I was surprised why our disassociation hadn't already been announced since we gave our letters in 2 weeks ago. He said that they had been dealing with something else (at this point I wondered if it was the UN thing but it turned out not to be) + elder who we had dropped letters into had been ill & had wanted to talk to us but instead had finally got presiding overseer to ring.
This elder had NOT seen our letters but basically knew that we wanted to disassociate. I then outlined that basically nothing particular had bothered me initially rather lots of things - like had been praying for help & had got none even though was missing meetings etc. Plus had nagging doubts in general. Also outlined that my wife was concerned about "generation" change.
Then said had done research - was careful to say using society literature - which was true initially then we have obviously looked wider - I hinted at this but didn't go down this route since didn't want to be labelled apostate. In short talked a fair bit about:-
1. Generation change
2. Blood change
3. Voting change
4. UN affiliation
Then said that if this was God's organisation then surely all of this wouldn't change soooo much!
He had not heard about the UN thing & he actually was surprised & promised to go & research this - since he wanted to know the answer & said that it might come up on the doors so he needed to know. At this point I asked if he would send me anything he found out by EMail etc. Hopefully he will really look at this. I mentioned the paper articles plus said that I had checked the UN website. I was careful to just use these references since I did want him to look it up.
At this point he did get a bit stern & asked if I had been looking at "apostate" stuff - I hedged a bit here since we had made our decision to disassociate by looking at WTS literature only but obviously once we had done this we have looked more widely - OBVIOUSLY. I also certainly didn't want to give him a reason to disfellowship us - its their fault if they haven't announced it - once we sent in our letters we can do what we want!
I said that given all I had said we couldn't honestly be JWs anymore & wouldn't feel right if we tried to. He then acknowledged that we had some serious concerns but wanted to visit to help us to find answers.
At this point I said that I appreciated this offer but basically we would only discuss articles & we had already looked at these & made up our mind so I didn't see any point.
Hence I finally asked him to disassociate us both - I also stated strongly that I did not want to be disfellowshipped because we had done nothing wrong. He verbally agreed that the disassociation would be announced on Thursday.
I honestly don't know if we will be DA'ed or DF'ed - he probably has got some ammo in our letters plus what I said to say that we are apostates - however I kept anything which could be viewed as "bad" - i.e. internet usage - mainly out of the conversation.
I think that in this case this elders motives were to help/save us but he also made it clear that disassociation is basically the same as DF in that no-one will talk to us.
Oh well - we did it - hopefully this is the end of it.
THANK YOU ALL FOR RESPONDING to my plea for help. It really caught me unawares & the instant support I have received was really great. We really appreciate it!
Funny that - people on this site have been more help to us in a time of trouble than any JW & yet most of you are either shunned or viewed as weak from the WTS point of view. Well WE DISAGREE!!!!!!!!!