What Advice Would You Give A JW Thinking Of Leaving Or One Who's Left? (page 3)

minimus

Terry, being prepared is an absolute must BUT the process of 100% figuring things out can take years for some. I say, get out of the sinking ship now and you'll have time to figure things out later.

eclipse

My advice is:

Be prepared for backlash from your family and friends.

Be ready to accept that they will shun you.

Make friends on the outside first before you leave.

Let go of the fear of being DF'd.

Make a good life for yourself. Engage in things that make you happy.

Donate to charity.

Donate blood if you can.

Buy one lottery ticket, just because you can.

Vote.

Join a YMCA.

READ books that you would of never read before on theology or philosophy.

Watch movies that you want to watch, not just because they have a G rating.

Do things (legal of course) that as a JW would of made you uncomfortable.

Do them even if they make you uncomfortable at first.

It will make you feel a part of your community, and not so apart from it as we were taught to be.

I know that doing those thing will take time,

but I found that doing the little ''worldly'' activities helped me feel more like a human being and less of a JW.

nvrgnbk

Do things (legal of course)

Why ya hatin'?

Terry

Terry, being prepared is an absolute must BUT the process of 100% figuring things out can take years for some. I say, get out of the sinking ship now and you'll have time to figure things out later.

Here is why I disagree, Minimus.

A JW lives in constant FEAR and doesn't even realize it! The FEAR has to turn to determination and understanding.

Once you wake up and find yourself plugged into a MATRIX of lies; if you jump out immdiately you don't fully comprehend the magnitude of DELUSION.

It is easy to simply become ensnared in another DELUSION without understanding how delusion works.

It is important for self-deprogramming to learn the vast layers of bullshit, happy talk, empty speech, cliche, rote thinking and parrot jabber which passes for SPIRITUAL FOOD when you buy in to the lie (i.e. have "Faith")

You have to SEE the zombies walking around the Kingdom Hall. You have to observe the way it works.

You have to completely UNdo what has been done to you!

Inside the Kingdom Hall you are a puppet whose strings are pulled. You must identify each string separately and detach them with autonomy. If you jump away to early the strings are STILL THERE for others to pick up and manipulate again.

It is done with FEAR. You need to recognize how many fears have been programmed into you to paralyze you and CONTROL you!

You have to sharpen your thinking skills too.

The only toolbox as JW has is what has been indoctrinated into you. You can't think rationally with irrational tools.

I strongly reccomend a reading list.

1.Who Wrote the Bible? by Friedman

2.Crisis of Conscience by Franz

3.Misquoting Jesus by Ehrman

4.Ten Philisophical Mistakes by Adler

This gives you some valid foundation to work with, otherwise; you will recycle your mistakes in a different context over and over.

You can't go out into the "world" without a map, a plan and a complete understanding of what just happened to your mind.

Being a JW is being RAPED! Your very identity and personhood has been violated to the core! You are in no condition to escape until you can look this rapist in the face and recognize their method of operation.

How did it happen? Why? Why? Why?

When the time comes to move out you'll know it in every fiber of your being.

minimus

I guess we disagree. I appreciate your perspective though. MOST persons here do not fit into the category that you suggest before one actually leaves. I think you can leave and STILL deal with ongoing issues......If someone were to grasp all the suggested reading material completely first, this could take years. I say this as a complement but not everyone is as intelligent as you. And yet you had your doubts for a little while afterward too.

eclipse

Why ya hatin'?

LMAO!

I leave that ''other'' advice up to you

nvrgnbk

Why ya hatin'?
LMAO!
I leave that ''other'' advice up to you

Brain Dead

Great post Mini, an important one for all the thousands of lurkers that come to this forum Jw or not, a little empathic compassion

can make the difference in this world of fear and delusion. I'd have to agree with Terry's comments about trying to leave the grasp of the WTS cold turkey

without doing any intellectual investigation. I've seen people try and allot fail, do too not having the intellectual support around them, only to return to the Kingdom halls

in a state of mental limbo. The constant and overwhelming programing of fear that is put over the individuals by the WTS is their mainstay of control and is likewise with

so many other religions like this. In fair play the men that start these religions are using their own ability of free thinking to create and develop their chosen kingdoms,

why would not be correct then for free thinking individuals to throughly examine these kingdoms to see if they are justifiable in holding such power.

Maybe we can impress to the people that the WTS is more of a commercialized business rather than a spiritually guided true religion.

I know taking this avenue has a very good success rate, also tuning the clock backwards on the WTS in an investigating way has proven to be a very good approach also.

OnTheWayOut

Gather up your information. Prepare yourself
Read CRISIS OF CONSCIENCE and COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL (and other books).
Search the internet by googling "Watchtower" and "Jehovah's Witnesses."
(My favorites were jwfacts.com and freeminds.org)
Consider reading the lifestories from some of your search

Decide how to leave- fade, DA, pester the BOE until they DF you, just walk away
Consider the damages and benefits of each possible exit strategy and prepare for it.
Develop friends outside the WTS.
Find a confidante- could be non-Borg family or friend, could be someone you meet in
your research who is ex-JW. Tell the confidante what you plan to do.

If you decide to fade, get started. Shake off your privileges as soon as you can by missing
meetings and cutting down on service. (Consider just stopping the service and reporting
one or two hours a month until you are ready to go inactive.) If you decide to walk away,
DO IT, don't let them drag you back. If you decide to DA, don't wait for the perfect time, just
do it. There are letters here and other websites that you could read from other DA'ed JW's.
If you want to be disfellowshiped because there's some people you want to help, then
say what you want without expecting much results.
What are you waiting for?

That said, there are better times to do these things than others. I timed my fading according
to C.O. visits. I raised questions and stepped aside as an elder way before a C.O. visit. I
used the C.O. visit to cause my stumbling from his attitude and cut back for 6 months. I
stopped reporting service because of his visit, but allowed the 6 months to become inactive to
extend past the next C.O. visit, so I wasn't quite there yet. After the next C.O. visit, as I went
inactive, I stopped going to meetings altogether. Now they are used to my absence before the
next C.O. visit.

Similar timing can be used for the other choices, but there will never be an ideal time. Don't feel
obligated to wait until Grandma dies unless she's close. If you have your heart set on going to a
wedding, then wait, but not long after. As an elder, I kept saying that I would do that one more
cong. visit to give a talk because I have friends there. Every month, I could say that. It kept
happening again and again. Finally, we had travel plans with JW friends. I said, "No matter what,
after the travel, I step aside and start this fade." I stuck to that. You can do it.

What Advice Would You Give A JW Thinking Of Leaving Or One Who's Left?

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