wedding invitation revoked (page 2)

jeanne40love

no i am not active. haven't been for several years....

too much to talk about.

i am fading and trying to get my head around what matters most to me.

truthsearcher

Welcome Jeannie

I raised my kids in the religion....thinking it was the only way.

I am sure that you must feel really sad and discouraged to know that you were duped into thinking that the Witnesses were God's true religion. I want to encourage you to rejoice in the fact that your eyes have been opened on that point, and to encourage you to read the Bible (not the NWT either) for yourself and have a relationship with God and Jesus without an organization telling you what is right or wrong, or what to believe. I am sorry for this situation that your daughter has just been through, I'm sure she must be hurt by this "uninvitation". It shows the true nature of the Witness religion--not the most loving people on earth--but on the contrary, very hurtful.

lisavegas420

Welcome Jean..

yes, they are cruel and heartless....you already knew that.

my parents didn't come to my wedding. instead they took my younger brother to NY to see Bethel....they said it was important to show them what was really important.

I wasnt' invited to my sister's wedding. Actually she said..."the KH is a public place" but I didn't get an invite, and was told I would not be allowed at the reception.

lisa

AK - Jeff

This is what happens to those who arrogantly believe they are the 'Chosen of God'. Seems like a contradiction to me - wouldn't the truly 'Chosen of God' be humble top to bottom? Just thinking out loud here.

Welcome to the forum Jeanne40love.

Jeff

jeanne40love

my husband and i didn't got to his brothers wedding b/c he was marrying a non witness (he was baptized). Now 20 years later, he is still married, not attending meetings though. I regret that all the no witness family members went to the wedding, and we didn't support him, we have apologized to him, we were young, and too stupid to think about the long term effects of this black/white behaviour.

I have 4 children the two adults sons who were also invited to this witness wedding, are not going on the principle that if their sister, her fiancee and son are not good enough, they although not bptzd. will not go. I am not going, and my 15 year old daughter are also not going (my husband is he feels compelled since it is his only sisters daughter-and of course he loves her).....I support him in his decision to go.....I am glad I am not.

truthsearcher

I wondered if you have or will be including a note with your invitation reply card explaining why you don't feel comfortable attending the wedding?

jeanne40love

No, the initial reply was sent 2 months ago (and at that time we were all going), this new information regarding invitees only became apparent 2 weeks ago. There really is no point in giving an explanation, my neice has to do as the brothers encouraged her, or her finacee will have his privileges removed.....at this point in their lives that is the most important thing. we'll see how they feel later, if they remain married.

OnTheWayOut

While it is easy to attack the JW's silly position on this, you seem balanced in
recognizing that you were a total believer in the past and avoided a family wedding
because of your beliefs. You seem balanced in your last comment that "my neice
has to do as the brothers encouraged her, or her finacee will have his privileges
removed.....at this point in their lives that is the most important thing."

As your brother probably totally forgives you, I am certain that you would be willing
to totally forgive this silly uninvitation. Thanks for sharing your story and your
reasonable outlook.

jeanne40love

Yes, I can forgive the silly univitation. I only hope my daughter is able to be big enough to get over it.

One thing I know for sure, humans sure can make a mess of things.

Scully

Sad to say, but this is nothing new.

When I got married over 20 years ago, I was told that unless everyone in my wedding party were baptized JWs, that they would not allow us to use the KH for the wedding, and the brother officiating would not be able to marry us. That meant finding another maid of honour, rather than my JW raised but not baptized best friend of over 10 years. The only bright spot was that I had not yet asked my friend to be my maid of honour, so I was spared the humiliation of demoting her, but she was still insulted (as was all her family who subsequently refused to attend the wedding) that I hadn't asked her.

Six months later, my BIL gets married at the same KH, with the same body of elders involved, same brother officiating. His bride to be is New In The Truth™ (baptized a month earlier), and to avoid Stumbling™ all her Worldly™ relatives, they allowed her to have her Worldly™ sister as her maid of honour. Her parents were already quite peeved that she joined the JWs, so the elders didn't want to make them even more angry by meddling with the wedding party arrangements. The restraint didn't last though - at the buffet they made an issue about not knowing whether the cold cuts had "by-products" (aka blood) in them because Worldly™ people catered the dinner, and 50% of the meat got wasted because of it.

@$$holes.

I guess what I'm trying to say is to really try to not take it personally. When the elders start pressuring a young bride-to-be and telling her that she can't have her wedding at the KH unless they follow instructions, it's a huge huge thing - we're talking about dashing to smithereens the dream (such as it is) you have of getting married in the place you consider to be your house of worship. We're talking about being forced to get married by a Justice of the Peace instead of Brother™ So-and-So whom you hold in high esteem. We're talking about you and your family being embarrassed by the gossip related to "they couldn't get married at the Kingdom Hall, they must have been doing something wrong".

Planning a wedding is stressful enough without adding the JW related drama to the mix. Just make sure the gift(s) you were planning to bring are as revoked as the invitation was. When someone chooses Loyalty™ to the Organization™ over loyalty to family, it shouldn't be without consequences.

While I understand your husband's dilemma, I think he owes it to your daughter to stand behind her and support her, rather than his niece.

wedding invitation revoked

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