Sean Penn and Danny Glover can go to hell

by Wordly Andre 55 Replies latest jw friends

  • PrimateDave
    PrimateDave

    Once the oil is gone, maybe, we can all stop hating each other.

    Dave

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    Now, now. Here we go again stereotyping!

    Just for humor, how about this stereotype:

    Liberals - A History Lesson




    History began some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gathers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and, would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter.

    The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get men to the beer.

    These were the foundations of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into 2 distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

    Once beer was discovered it required grain, and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

    Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as "the Conservative movement."

    Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as "girlymen".

    Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

    Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

    Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish, but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

    Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

    Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, soldiers, athletes and generally anyone who works productively outside government.

    Conservative who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

    Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed, and created a business of trying to get MORE for nothing.

    Here ends today's lesson in World History

  • Madame Quixote
    Madame Quixote
    . . . Maria Conchita Alonzo . . . says they see what Chavez wants them to see in that country, not reality.

    And that never happens in this country? Like, when people choose only to listen to whatever polarized side of the political debates suit their personal tastes, politics, and pocketbooks?

  • sixsixsixtynine
    sixsixsixtynine
    ...suck up to dictators who wish the destruction of the USA?

    Gimme a break. I have a lot of problems with Chavez, but that's a stupid comment.

    He's never 'wished destruction' on the USA. Unless he plans on destroying us by giving free oil to our poor. LOL.

    He does seem to hate Bush an awful lot, but then so does half of America.

  • bigdreaux
    bigdreaux

    journey... i'm neither rep. or dem. but, i laughed my butt off on that.

  • Stephanus
    Stephanus

    Journey-on, that's just confusing; here in Oz, the "Liberals" are the conservative party! (And Labor are the liberals.)

  • Madame Quixote
    Madame Quixote
    For me the situation is no more about oil than Zimbabwe is. It's about crackdown on liberty in a former democracy -Stephanus

    Like in the United States? So, what is the crackdown here about?

  • Anti-Christ
    Anti-Christ

    Ah politics!, Poli: many. Tics: blood sucking parasites.

  • stevenyc
    stevenyc

    journey-on said : "Once a budding democracy, Venezuela under Chavez is rapidly turning into an autocratic Marxist state."

    I think your right. I hope your not, but I think power is going to (maybe already has) get the better of him. It's up to the Venezuelan people, government, and military to temper his 'enthusiasm'. I spent a little time in Venezuela, and the people I met were pretty smart, and aware of their government (bad days of wiping tear-gas from my eyes). Their influence shouldn't be underestimated.


    steve

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    Sorry, Stephanus....guess you have to be American to get this little ditty.

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