showed wife the new km article. bad decision. (page 3)

SnakesInTheTower

freeme:

good people do good things and bad people do bad things. only religion can make good people do bad things

possibly this quote is attributable to Richard Dawkins, author of "The God Delusion". Have not yet been able to pin down the context/source of the quote... Sounds like something he would say/write.

I echo what someone else here said...changeling:

My suggestion is to let it be

yep...for now...just be there for her...think of all the stories the Borg told of JW wives waiting patiently for non JW husbands to see the light...It works the same in reverse....waiting for JW spouse to see the "REAL light" about the "Truth".

jgnat is right about what she said....futility....good advice what she said.

SnakesInTheTower (of the "glad I am not married to a JW, it almost happened" Sheep Class")

SnakesInTheTower

I sent a copy of that scan of the english 9/07 km in question to a brother I work with who has serious misgivings about the Truth. He too was raised in it, so it he is deeply entrenched, although no longer a MS. He misses meetings almost as much as I do. Same for ministry....we both work our jobs to not have to bother with it. His first objection ?? "how do you know it is real?" (since it is not the actual copy of the km.) I asked him if I was right about the new Study edition of the WT and about the 30 min talks.... he said yes. I told him my "friend" was the same inside source. (haha...JWD has insiders!) So I said, "well maybe it is a really good Photoshop prank" (kudos to the one here who pull QFR articles off!)

This brother is definitely a independent minded thinker. I was trying to finish reading CoC when he called (and called multiple times to tell me about work crap....I just kept throwing doubt stuff at him to throw him off his center.)... He rejects the Society viewpoint on education and not putting emphasis on retirement, etc. There are some serious cracks in his armor. I'll just let him mull over it some more.

Im not leaving anytime soon, but my mindset is different than it was 6 months ago....more on that in my follow up to the CoC thread.

Snakes (of the "planting seeds of doubt, just like Johnny Appleseed" Sheep Class)

Brain Dead

It's very apparent they were exploiting and manipulating the good book for their purposes, call it coercion with intent to gain power and also to commercialize their products

the unfortunate thing is that it worked. Perhaps you might want to investigate the commercial aspect of this religion since it was started mainly by businessmen, structured marketing can be

found in the most unusual places .

Honesty

If you want to stay married to her the best thing is to be still right now or she will run to her gods.

I lost a faithful, beautiful wife to this cult because I wouldn't keep quiet about the FDS.

I was on all kinds of prescription meds just to function because I knew that if I started talking I wouldn't stop.

After almost 3 years of silence I finally laid it all on the table (everything I had learned about the WTBTS) and in less than 2 weeks we were history.

I suggest that you make an appointment with a mental health professional to help you sort things out.

Of course, I am speaking from my own experiences and yours may be totally different even though the signs are the same.

daniel-p

Freeme,

There's a lot of good advice already on here so I won't get too verbose - suffice it to say I've been in the EXACT same situation as you. I quickly learned that if she (my wife) was going to see things like me it would take a lot of TIME and it would be at her pace. In order to keep my marriage in the health that it is, I don't engage her in spiritual conversation. She doesn't bother me about my inactivity and she doesn't bring anything up. I do the same for her. Its a comfortable understanding between us. Believe me, it was extremely hard for me at times and I went through months of deep depression and eventually got therapy for it. But things have worked out and we are actually more happy now than when I was in the "truth."

My advice in a nutshell is:

a) Take it slow, be gentle, and always be deeply respectful of her beliefs.

b) She may never actually see the truth behind the truth, so prepare yourself for that - what would you need to do in order to support a happy marriage without both believing thethe same thing?

c) Make friends - don't isolate yourself now that you're probably increasingly inactive.

d) Read topic histories of other people here on JWD. Many of us have had very similar experiences as you - and there is defintely a thread of "things to do" and "things not to do" when it comes to exiting the JWs when in a family.

-dp

Hortensia

freeme - such a tough time to go through. You love your wife, keep telling her that and don't push her too much on the org. But begin moving away from the org. yourself for your own sanity! The suggestion to see a therapist is a good one, try to find one who knows about high control religions but doesn't have a personal agenda against any religion.

Mary, what a fabulous article. I'm going to send it to some friends. Jgnat - your advice is always so good - thanks! I'm not in this situation myself but I really feel for freeme and his wife, and the help people like that can get on this forum is heartwarming.

I'd better be rude about something or I'll get so sentimental I'll break down in sobs!

JWdaughter

There is nothing more lonely than not being able to be yourself with the person who is supposed to love 'yourself' more than anyone in the world. I feel for you, my friend.

Your english is probably better than most of us native born speakers. I don't know what your native tongue is, but I can guarantee you that I can't write a legible sentence in any non-english language you might speak.

You are young. Don't let this get you down. Religion is one thing-not the ONLY thing. It is important to many, but making it the total fulcrum of your life is a mistake.

My suggestion, go easy on the wife-she is scared right now. No matter how much and how intensely she loves you, right now you are rocking her entire world-and not in a way that she thinks is good. Go slow. . .love her, and don't give her too much ammo too quick. You are both young, and if she runs to elders/family with her fears her loyalty may be tested. Don't give her a reason to do that until you feel like she has opened up and opened her eyes a bit more. Turn down the water under the pot!! Good luck!

startingover

I'm in the same situation and to be honest I actually thought about showing my wife this KM before she got it. I was going to tell her that when someone outside the organization reads stuff like this it looks completely different. It looks like an organization who is desparately trying to control information in an age where it is so easy to obtain. I wasn't going to get any deeper than that and I was going to tell her that I worry about her when I read thing like this and to just be careful.

I guess I never give up hoping she will someday see what I see, but I'm glad I saw this before doing it. I've changed my plans.

LearningToFly

Sorry to hear you had such a hard day Freeman, whats most important is that you believe that you are important and worthy and dont let yourself fall to far into that negative s/thought. I'm not sure how well I would do in such a situation, having my partner being a believer and myself not. Stay strong!

p.s. Mary, that is a wonderful article, it really shows how moments pop up for me still with those replayed messages..

LTF

Lady Liberty

Dear Freeme,

Welcome to the forum!! Sounds like you need a big (((HUG)))!!! Please hang in there, she is scared and when the dubs feel scared they often get nasty. Give her time and she may come around. Love her like always, and let her know that no matter what you love her. She is probably feeling very uncertain of your future, so be reassuring. You never know what you may have said that may have given her something to think about.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

showed wife the new km article. bad decision.

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