It sure is hard being your lord

by Jehovah_God 46 Replies latest jw friends

  • WildHorses

    I dont see you people getting worked up over a spoon!

    Now that you mention it! the tea spoon is to small and the table spoon is to big! Waz up wit dat?

    "I don't want someone in my life I can live with, I want someone in my life I can't live without."

  • teejay

    I'll be god damned. You are real. Hello, god... er, I mean God.


    "Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane."
    -- Red (Morgan Freeman); The Shawshank Redemption
  • ring

    I suppose you already have called "dibbs" on Jennifer Aniston and
    Courtney Cox. Could I have the blonde?

  • Jehovah_God

    You people are overly concerned with sex. You realize that when you become immortal souls of pure energy you will have no need nor desire for sex. Well, if thats what happens after you die. I like being vaque on that point. Let's just say no matter what you will not be wantin' sex.

    I sometimes wonder why you puny humans don't just engage in one massive orgy. It would solve your problems and bring about world peace. You could take rotations for sleeping, eating and defecating.

  • Michael3000

    Wow, Jehovah_God! You really ARE awesome! Too bad you like "Friends", though - I can't take more than 3 1/2 minutes of that crap before I turn to the Discovery Channel, or something. A few questions, if you don't mind:

    1. Why is Fred Hall allowed to exist? Is he here to test us, or just annoy the living shit out of us?

    2. How come women don't have 3 boobs? Wouldn't that make more sense? Seems to me that men, having only 2 hands, could only engage 2 boobs at a time, thus giving the third one a break. Women could then determine which boobs get man-handled, and which one gets a rest, on a rotating basis. This could save a lot of wear & tear. Just a thought.

    3. I'm not from Chicago, but can you do something about the Cubs? Seems a lot of folks in that area could use a pick-me-up.

    4. On the subject of sports, is Michael Jordan 100% human, or what? He has done some really amazing shit that doesn't seem humanly possible. Should we take it as a hint that he's now playing for the Washington Wizards?

    5. Same question as #4, but applied to Michael Jackson. Come on, now - give us the low-down.

    Oh, yeah - and thanks for sending me my fiancee, Jacqueline. She's the best thing that ever happened to me! (No joke here, just me being schmaltzy).


    "Any day spent NOT knocking on doors is a good day!"

  • bsmart

    Just Bumping this cause I laughed out loud, all the questions weren't answered though.

    Jehovah should return.

  • Twitch

    But seriously, I thought he was banned...


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