Wow, Jehovah_God! You really ARE awesome! Too bad you like "Friends", though - I can't take more than 3 1/2 minutes of that crap before I turn to the Discovery Channel, or something. A few questions, if you don't mind:
1. Why is Fred Hall allowed to exist? Is he here to test us, or just annoy the living shit out of us?
2. How come women don't have 3 boobs? Wouldn't that make more sense? Seems to me that men, having only 2 hands, could only engage 2 boobs at a time, thus giving the third one a break. Women could then determine which boobs get man-handled, and which one gets a rest, on a rotating basis. This could save a lot of wear & tear. Just a thought.
3. I'm not from Chicago, but can you do something about the Cubs? Seems a lot of folks in that area could use a pick-me-up.
4. On the subject of sports, is Michael Jordan 100% human, or what? He has done some really amazing shit that doesn't seem humanly possible. Should we take it as a hint that he's now playing for the Washington Wizards?
5. Same question as #4, but applied to Michael Jackson. Come on, now - give us the low-down.
Oh, yeah - and thanks for sending me my fiancee, Jacqueline. She's the best thing that ever happened to me! (No joke here, just me being schmaltzy).
"Any day spent NOT knocking on doors is a good day!"