Good for you Saywhat. After three years of studying (like you), I too had to make a decision. Unfortunately, and unlike you, there was no internet around back in 1990 for me. So, I went under the water and was baptized as a JW. Only a year and a half ago did I come to see another JW side entirely.
THAT'S 16 YEARS AS A GOOD LITTLE JW.
Where did I learn this new info? From the net, just like you have right now.
There are numerous doctrinal reasons to reject the JW's today. Some leave just to get away from the controlling authority that is the WT Society. Others for different reasons altogether.
But know this; the evidence that the WT is not "God's Organization" is overwhelming and conclusive and continual.
Here is a link to my own story, including exactly how and why I walked away after over 15 years.
http://p196.ezboard.com/Letter-of-disassociation/fexjehovahswitnessforumfrm14.showMessage?topicID=237.topic
Blood and fractions, numerous missed end of the world predictions in writing, forbidding vaccinations, forbidding organ transplants, forbidding alternative service and many other things causing ruined lives or even death. An unscriptural application of judging, labeling and SHUNNING for those that simply disagree or choose to walk away from the JW faith. Doctrinal flip-flops and blinking lights. Historical failures, weird wacky science and laughable health teachings. Beth Sarim, rape-rules, into the JW bedroom by the WT and thousands of other things similar.
Yes it may not feel right and yes freedom is valuable. But there are doctrinal moral and ethical reasons to say thanks but no thanks to the JW's today.
The best books I ever read are found here:
http://estore.commentarypress.com/product/crisis-of-conscience-softbound-english
http://estore.commentarypress.com/product/in-search-of-christian-freedom-softbound-english
Sound like you may not need to go that far. But after you leave the JW's you may still have doubts from time to time due to the indoctrination program. Those two books along with sites like this can help erase those doubts conclusively.
Also, if you are up to the task, carefully share some of the very things you have learned here with your JW teachers or other JW's that you know. Most have not a clue what the entire JW picture actually consists of. You will also see just how "conditional" that brotherly love actually is.
vinny
Just finished my second study book
by saywhat? 62 Replies latest members private
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Vinny
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JWdaughter
Welcome!
I think as regards your doubts, you should address them now. Later you will be further invested in it, your kids may buy into the whole mess and your wife may also be heavily invested in it. Letting your kids know that you are always looking out for them and trying to do your best is really important. Knowing that you can be a bit humble and admit you were wrong about somethings will not kill their respect for you. I would suggest that you don't make a big deal of it. When Thanksgiving comes round, celebrate it. Kids will ask why: "I don't think that God would be mad at us for taking a day out and thanking him for the blessings we have, do you? Christmas you can approach in a similar way, "Angels rejoiced at Jesus' birth, don't you think we should too, even if we don't know the exact day? (this is a good way to keep the holidays low key but still celebrate them if the typical excess disturbs you) Be gentle. Talk about the things you think are good and bad and realize what it was that really drew you to the religion. Maybe the catholic church was a little to hands off and distant for you orig. and you need more connection. Or maybe you like that they evangelize (well, something anyway), maybe that they stressed morality. Other churches are into clean living too, without making rules about it. Ask your kids what they liked. (might be a short list, that's a HARD religion for kids).
Best wishes.
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sparrow
All I have to say is hoorah for you. Wish I was one of your kids. I know I'd forgive you