by saywhat? 62 Replies latest members private
welcome saywhat? your children have adjusted to no b'dys, xmas etc, they can adjust back and wont get too confused if you explain things like you did when you said those were things they couldnt do.
I think that the suggestion of making a list of pro's and con's is a good one.
seeing your doubts in black and white may make it all easier to deal with.
It was very difficult for me to explain to my children that everything I ever taught them about religion was false, but I did it. I told them we were wrong and made a mistake. That the Jehovah's Witnesses had lied to us and got us to believe some things that were false, they tricked us. I apologized, answered any and all questions they had, and kept on reassuring them that it was going to be okay. And it was. My kids have never been happier. It is hard to admit to anyone that you have been duped, especially to your own children, but you have to.
Firstly - Welcome to JWD! This will be a great place for you to really figure out for youself what is best for you and your family. You will find people with much insight to the whys and wherefores of the organization as well as historical (secular and WT) and biblical knowledge.
There have been a few threads dealing with the subject of helping young children out of the organization. Perhaps other posters can provide links or they may be listed on Lady Lee's 'Best Of' series found on the home page.
All-in-all, the experiences with the children have been extremely positive. Snoop around here a bit, take a deep breath, and you will be able to come up with a thoughtful plan.
Post more when you can. There really is a wealth of support here.
-Denise.
Another 3rd generation JW - former Pioneer, former elder.
PLEASE - be very careful. Research the Witnesses carefully. I was around your kid's ages when my parents started studying. I was baptized at 11. I had a lot of trouble with various WTS teachings, but I really gave it my all for many years.
Then, because of changes in very important Witness teachings, I began to see that they were just taking guesses at things, and making us bet our lives on whether or not their guesses were correct. They were mostly completely wrong - especially their use of dates and what would happen when.
I left when I was in my 40s. Of course, I had no advanced education as I was a good JW and had not gone to college.
Any religion or group that discourages higher education, discourages private research and that disagrees with accepted, proven science, is very, very dangerous. The Witnesses are a high control group that you should avoid. Protect your children - teach them to think and reason and research. It will be a great gift for them!
Open Mind - good to hear from you.
S4
One more thought. Jehovah's Witnesses beliefs aren't all bad. If they were no one would join in the first place. But most of the "good" ideas they don't have a monopoly on and can be found elsewhere. Also, Jehovah's Witnesses themselves aren't bad either. There are many loving, sincere people there. That doesn't make it "the Truth".
For your sake and the sake of your children, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE take the time to read here and other sites a little more. The mind control is subtle and hard to pick up on when you're first being exposed to the JWs. I guarantee you that if you mention that you're doing research on the Internet they'll tell you to stop and that anything negative you've heard is Satan trying to hinder your spiritual progress. If you buy it, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Open Mind
Simply tell your kids that you were mistaken about this religion and continue to raise them to be intelligent, creative and curious people as we all should be. Encourage them (and yourself to seek knowledge and always be willing to examine a subject from all view points and than forming an opinion on things.
Thank you for all the responses. I DID tell my teacher I was using the internet and he DID say it was dangerous because of all the negative and mean things I would encounter about the JW's. I couldn't wait to see the responses to my post because I am hurt AND confused. My children put up with the holiday situation, but,no, they don't really care for it and DO fuss about it. But when a parent loses credibility with their child, it can be very difficult to get them to trust and believe parental decisions. I will keep you posted on my roller coaster ride. I am currently reading other threads in this forum in my search for direction. One question though : Do I try to pursue my previous faith (catholic), or try another faith, or nothing? I definitely still want to instill some kind of spiritual fulfillment for myself and especially my kids. Thank you to all!!
It never hurts to tell kids you don't have all the answers, and you don't have to make a final decision on any religion. It doesn't take a church to make moral, good, just people and it sounds like you already have those qualities. Why not do some research with your family, go back to your original church, visit some others, see what fits for you. I can't provide the links, but there are experiences on the forum of others that stepped back and how their family reacted. The kids are mostly relieved. Please let us know how you're doing.
Emma
Welcome to the forum.
You are in a unique position. You have knowledge of the basic JW teachings, but are not baptised. You are allowed to ask any question. Why shouldn't you? You wouln't buy a car, television, or computer without doing some research, and you shouldn't "buy into" this religion without having all doubts cleared up.
Please do more research on the history of this organization. Most of us here wish we had done that first.
Did you know that a person can be disfelloshipped, and some have, for joining the YMCA to use the swimming pool or excercise equipment but the Watchtower Society sought out and joined the United Nations as a Non-Governmental Associate ostensibly to use their library? No, they are not currently a member because the Guardian Newspaper in the UK broke the story a couple of years ago, and they quickly withdrew their membership.
Did you know that a baptised Witness could be disfellowshipped for merely looking at a website such as this one or for asking questions?
Please don't make any life-altering decision for yourself or your family without knowing all the answers to your satisfaction.
Remember-ask, ask, ask!!!!!
Glad to see you're still here. To answer your question about where to go from here, let me propose something to you.
Suppose I said "almost everyone who leaves the JWs becomes a Unitarian." What would you think? Hopefully that would arouse suspicion on your part. (BTW, I've got nothing against the Unitarians.) You get the idea. If I tell you that Religion "X" is where it's at, hopefully, you'd take it with a VERY BIG grain of salt. That should help you feel more comfortable here. There's no ONE PATH that people in this community have taken. Take your time and beware of any group that is "High Control". Books on cults and mind control could be helpful to you.
Open Mind
