JD, I've read that essay and you're right, it is VERY interesting. People are so unpredictable and we hear so much on the media about people behaving erratically I can't blame ex-nj-jw for being frightened. The other thing about it is most of us don't have those kinds of confrontations very often. Personally I go into fight or flight mode and get really freaked out. I think ex-nj-jw handled it really well.
Very scarry encounter
by ex-nj-jw 45 Replies latest jw experiences
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brinjen
Sheesh... Some people just love to make a big deal out of nothing. These are the sort of people who usually winge and whine about how they're not getting anywhere in life. Wonder why? How does this guy react when there's a 5 minute wait on his fries at McChuckies?
As for the scratch on his car, that's an issue for him to take up with his insurance company. You didn't scratch it intentionally. He's the one responsible for the scratch anyway as it was his behaviour that caused it in the first place.
These are the people that you dread serving (when you work in customer service), they'll blame everyone but themselves.
Glad you're OK.
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free2think
That must have been so scary NJ. Im glad you are ok though. What a jerk.
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AllAlongTheWatchtower
I had a somewhat similar situation happen recently, couple months ago. My wife and I were driving up to Maryland to visit relatives, and on the DC beltway (which I hate, and is notorious for traffic jams, accidents, etc) had a bit of an incident. I was in the middle lane, and put on my signal to get in the left lane. Looked in mirrors, looked over my shoulder, plenty of room. Started making the lane change, speeding car comes out of nowhere, horn blaring. Still dunno whether the guy was originally in the left lane and going so fast that he closed the gap on me, or was in the middle lane with me, and just tried to pass me before I completed my lane change. (That's one of my pet peeves by the way, and what I suspect did actually happen; when you put on your signal, many opportunistic jerks will just speed up and pass you from behind, preempting the space you would have had, and usually don't signal to do it, either-leaving you stuck where you were at.)
Anyway, I was forced to swerve sharply back into the middle lane. Then I noticed the idiot driver was still pacing me alongside, and gesturing wildly, honking his horn. I ignored it for a while, thinking he was just blowing off steam and would get over it, especially since I was in the right. But he continued, and even started swerving toward us. My wife was getting rather nervous at that point, so I changed lanes again, getting over to the slow lane to avoid the guy. Then he dodge through traffic to get ahead of us, and got in our lane. Hell, at this point, even I was getting nervous. Switched back to the middle lane to get away from him again.
He cut off another car, and made multiple lane changes to end up back immediately in front of us again, and slammed on his brakes, forcing us to a stop, as I had nowhere else to go in the traffic. Dead stop, in the middle of the highway. While this was going on, I had already yelled at my wife to dial 911 on her cell. Guy comes to my window yelling about damages, says we made contact, wants my insurance info, and is yelling about how his daughter was in the car. I told him he was nuts, I never felt a thing, woulda known if there was impact. My wife is kinda like a kitten...cute and cuddly, but sharp little claws when she's of a mind to use 'em, and starts yelling back at him about how he's a moron, she's preganant, what about the fact that HE endangered her unborn child, and GET OUTTA MY MAN'S FACE.
Luckily a cop pulled up behind us right about then, and I took the opportunity to use his shielding car to get the car the hell out of the road, and off onto the shoulder. Apparently nutcase had also dialed 911 on his cell, and the officer had been racing down the highway behind us to reach the scene, having been told of multiple calls received, from him, from us, and from other motorists. Nutcase actually thought he was in the right, and was making his case to the cop...whether because we were the calmer of the two parties, or he just picked at random, the cop told us to sit in the car, while he talked to nutcase.
As it turned out, nutcase actually did have a spot of white paint from my car on his front bumper, though I woulda swore there was no contact. Cop told him to consider himself lucky, as technically, it was MY right to proceed with any complaint, since with paint on his FRONT bumper, that meant he was the 'at fault' party. Asked me if I wanted to do anything about it, told him no, just want to go the hell on about my way, my car's a heap anyway, one less spot of paint won't hurt it any. Drove away shaking my head over the idiocy of people, and a bit shaky as well, to be honest.
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El Kabong
Ex NJ.....Ya should have just given him the one fingered Jersey salute...
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anewme
Yes the video will show him screaming at you abusively. Your urgent actions to get into your car were as self defense and the scratch from your sleeve was made by accident in your haste to find safety.
There are bad people out there and you must be keen to smell them coming.
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anewme
"An answer when mild turns away rage" is a good one to remember in these days of heated tempers.
An "Im sorry, I did not see you waiting. Please forgive me" would absolutely defuse anger.
I know its hard to humble oneself to say these kind of things when the truth is the other person was wrong, but it has probably saved a life or two and that is smart thinking.
I've lived my life by these calming responses to dangerous people and have slipped from their vicious grasps many times.
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John Doe
I concur, anewme. The only reason anyone ever says "What, am I supposed to read minds?" is when they're trying to piss someone off, otherwise known as being a smartarse. From my view, both parties escalated the situation.
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ex-nj-jw
The only reason anyone ever says "What, am I supposed to read minds?" is when they're trying to piss someone off, otherwise known as being a smartarse. From my view, both parties escalated the situation
So why would this person follow me instead of going inside the bank JD? If he wasn't yelling and cursing at me in the first place nothing would have been said. I suppose that you would have just not said anything or maybe just canceled you transaction and let him go "since of course, he was there first sitting in his car.
Having an opinion and stating your opinion is fine, but you weren't there and have no idea of it's effect's on me personally. Anyway, your a man and have no idea what it feels like to be a women being followed by some ranting lunatic, so i can't hold you responsible for your insensative response.
Again, thanks to those that posted helpfull hints!
nj
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John Doe
nj, tell me this. How do you feel when someone you don't know says "am I supposed to read minds?"