Comments You Will Not Hear at the 06-17-07 WT Study (May 1, 2007, pages 10-23)(DO NOT PUT APART) Review comments will be in redWT material from today's WT will be in black
Quotes from other sources will be in quotes boxes
w = Watchtower
g = Awake
jv = Proclaimers book
Bible translations www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible
WT publications www.reexamine.org
WT child abuse www.silentlambs.org
Blood issue www.ajwrb.org
United Nations http://www.randytv.com/secret/unitednations.htm
DO NOT PUT APART WHAT GOD HAS YOKED TOGETHER
"They are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart. "-MATTHEW 19:6.
Opening Comments
Notice how many snippet scriptures and citations there are compared to quotes from the scriptures. Does the WTS mislead by using snippets, out of context? Does the rank and file look up to see what the rest of the scripture says? (snippet--yellow/bold; citation--bold; complete quotation--yellow) In early Israelite times, under the Law, men could divorce a woman but a woman could not divorce a man. Why was that? But for the most part, marriages ended due to adultery, with the execution of the "guilty" party by the Jewish people after the trial in the gate (not behind closed doors).
Why does the WTS have the trial behind closed doors then? Think, how many jws do you know that are or are getting divorced. Half my generation in the jws are no longer "yoked together." Do you think that this article will change anything re the number of increasing divorces in the WTS?
START OF ARTICLE
Q1, 2) Why is it both Scriptural and realistic to expect that married couples will have occasional problems?
1) Imagine that you are about to embark on a long journey by automobile. Will you face challenges along the way? It would be naive to assume otherwise! For instance, you might encounter severe weather, making it necessary for you to slow down and proceed with caution. At some point, you may confront a mechanical problem that is beyond your ability to solve, requiring that you pull to the side of the road and seek help. Should such situations cause you to conclude that it was a mistake to start on the journey and that you should abandon the automobile? No. When traveling a long distance, you expect problems and wisely look for ways to deal with them. Possible severe weather or mechanical trouble...not take the trip?...Mistake to start on the journey...abandon the automobile (WTS)...You expect problems and wisely look for ways to deal with them.
^Are they talking about marriage or abandoning the WTS because of the "severe weather" of unwarranted elder denunciation or the "mechanical problems" with their policies and doctrines?
WAIT ON JEHOVAH
We are all imperfect, especially the elders.
^as a group or as individuals? Or do they spread the blame around or center on one elder (privately in the elder meetings) as the source of the imperfection?
*** w88 10/1 p. 16 par. 6 “Keep Holding Men of That Sort Dear” ***
No one elder has all the Christian qualities to the supreme degree, for all are imperfect.
*** w85 8/1 p. 31 Questions From Readers ***
Understandably, the appointed elder is still imperfect and may have limitations. But the apostles were imperfect, both before Jesus chose them and later when they served on the governing body.
^Evidently, the elder(s) are very imperfect, but the rank and file are not authorized to point out or try to correct the elders' mistakes.
*** w00 6/15 pp. 16-17 Honor the Ones Given Authority Over You ***
Honor Those Taking the Lead
16 Congregation elders are appointed by holy spirit, yet they are still imperfect and make mistakes. (Psalm 130:3; Ecclesiastes 7:20; Acts 20:28; James 3:2) As a result, some in the congregation may feel dissatisfied with the elders. How should we react when we feel that something in the congregation is not handled just right, or at least so it seems? Note the contrast between the first-century false teachers and the angels: “Daring, self-willed, they [false teachers] do not tremble at glorious ones but speak abusively, whereas angels, although they are greater in strength and power, do not bring against them an accusation in abusive terms, not doing so out of respect for Jehovah.” (2 Peter 2:10-13) While the false teachers spoke abusively of “glorious ones”—elders who were given authority in the first-century Christian congregation—the angels did not speak abusively of the false teachers who were causing disunity among the brothers. The angels, being in a superior position and having a keener sense of justice than humans, were aware of what was taking place in the congregation. Yet, “out of respect for Jehovah,” they left the judgment to God.—Hebrews 2:6, 7; Jude 9.
17 Even if something is not handled just the way it should be, should we not have faith in Jesus Christ as the living Head of the Christian congregation? Is he not aware of what is happening in his own worldwide congregation? Should we not respect his way of handling the situation and recognize his ability to control matters? Really, ‘who are we to be judging our neighbor?’ (James 4:12; 1 Corinthians 11:3; Colossians 1:18) Why not bring your concerns before Jehovah in your prayers?
18 Because of human imperfection, difficulties or problems may arise. There may even be times when an elder errs, causing some to be disturbed. Our acting hastily under such circumstances will not change the situation. It may only serve to aggravate the problem. Those having spiritual discernment will wait on Jehovah to set things straight and administer whatever discipline may be needed in his own time and way.—2 Timothy 3:16; Hebrews 12:7-11.
19 What if you feel distressed over some matter? Rather than talking to others in the congregation, why not respectfully approach the elders for help? Without being critical, explain how you have been affected. Always have “fellow feeling” for them, and maintain respect as you confide in them. (1 Peter 3:8) Do not resort to sarcasm, but trust in their Christian maturity. Appreciate any Scriptural encouragement that they may kindly offer. And if it appears that other corrective measures are needed, have confidence that Jehovah will guide the elders to do what is good and right.—Galatians 6:10; 2 Thessalonians 3:13.
^We are the only channel to everlasting life through Jesus Christ by God.
*** w52 8/15 p. 497 par. 4 God’s Spirit Essential to Maturity ***
Thus this Psalm reveals the essential heart attitude in order to gain understanding by God’s spirit. It also reveals the one and only channel by which the spirit and understanding are given, that is, the Lord’s organization, “Zion,” under the headship of Christ Jesus, “through whom all things are.”—1 Cor. 8:6, NW.
(No scriptures at all)
2) The same is true of marriage. Problems are inevitable, and it would be naive for a couple who are contemplating wedlock to expect a life of bliss. At 1 Corinthians 7:28, the Bible candidly states that husbands and wives would have "tribulation in their flesh." Why is this the case? Simply put, it is because husbands and wives are imperfect, and we are living in "critical times hard to deal with." (2 Timothy 3:1; Romans 3:23) Hence, even a compatible, spiritually-minded couple will face occasional problems.
marriage problems inevitable..."tribulation in the flesh"...
^So don't get married and "wait until the new system" which is best for single female jws; but single male jws need to get married because it is harder for men to control their sexual feelings (right, not!) One female jw was told that she was partly responsible for her husband's adultery because men have a stronger sex drive and it is harder for men to control.............!
*** fy chap. 13 p. 158 par. 12 If Marriage Is at the Breaking Point ***
If, though, a wife willfully deprives her husband or if a husband deliberately fails to render the marriage due in a loving way, the partner may be left open to temptation.
*** w81 8/15 p. 14 “Do Not Be Depriving Each Other of It” ***
On the whole, males seem to have a more pronounced sexual drive. They are more easily aroused. And it is less likely that some upset or distraction would disincline them from seeking sexual relief. On the other hand, women are often more sensitive, their emotions being more finely tuned. Hence, a wife’s interest in sex might be diminished by some concern, a dispute among the children, a sick child or a harsh word from her husband. Additionally, overwork or the effect of her monthly cycle might make sharing in marital relations an effort rather than a pleasure.—Gen. 31:35; 1 Pet. 3:7.
*** w79 6/15 p. 13 “It Is Not My Fault!” ***
For example, consider the marital union. Love, tenderness and mutual concern are essential to happiness in wedlock. But what if a marriage mate fails to display these qualities? And what if he or she should deliberately and consistently refuse to render the marital due?Under the pressure of such denial, and in the absence of love, tenderness and true concern, the rejected mate may succumb to temptation and commit adultery. If that should happen, can the unloving marriage partner disclaim all responsibility by saying, “It is not my fault”? Hardly!
because husbands and wives are IMPERFECT
^once again women are the cause of men's imperfections.
*** w91 7/1 p. 11 par. 10 Woman’s Role in the Scriptures ***
This abusive domineering has not been the proper exercise of headship. It has reflected man’s sinful condition and also woman’s imperfection, for sometimes women have suffered because they have attempted to usurp their husband’s authority.
^Even compatible, spiritually minded couples will face occasional problems.
Adultery (counseled to take the man back but dump the Jezebel)
Molested child(ren)(counseled to take the man back but dump the lying child)
Not in subjection (I know a woman who was df'd for this)
Snippet (2) NT
Citation (1) NT
Q3) (a) How is marriage viewed by many in the world? (b) Why do Christians strive to maintain their marriage?
3) In the modern world (non jws), when some couples encounter problems, their first reaction is to end the marriage. In many lands, divorce rates are spiraling out of control. However, true Christians handle problems rather than run from them. Why? Because they view marriage as a sacred gift from Jehovah. Jesus said regarding married couples: "What God has yoked together let no man put apart." (Matthew 19:6) Granted, living by that standard is not always easy. For instance, relatives and others--including some marriage counselors--who do not recognize Bible principles often encourage couples to separate or divorce on unscriptural grounds.* (Footnote: *- See the box "Divorce and Separation" in Awake! February 8, 2002, page 10, published by Jehovah's Witnesses.)(see below) But Christians know that it is far better to repair and maintain a marriage than to dissolve it hastily. Indeed, it is vital that at the outset we resolve to do things Jehovah's way--not according to the counsel of others.-Proverbs 14:12.
*** g02 2/8 p. 10 Marriage Should Be a Permanent Bond ***
DIVORCE AND SEPARATION
God, the Originator of marriage, designed it to be a permanent union. But is there any Scriptural reason for a person to divorce his or her mate—and one that would allow for the possibility of remarrying? Jesus addressed this matter by declaring: “I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery.” (Matthew 19:9) Sexual infidelity by a mate is the only ground for a divorce that will allow the innocent mate to remarry. In addition, the Bible’s words at 1 Corinthians 7:10-16, while encouraging marriage mates to stay together, allow for separation. Some, after trying very hard to preserve their marriage, feel they have no choice but to separate.What can be acceptable Scriptural grounds for such a step? One is willful nonsupport. When getting married, a husband assumes the responsibility of providing for his wife and children. The man who willfully fails to provide the material necessities of life “has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5:8) So separation is possible. Another is extreme physical abuse. So then, if a mate physically abuses his wife, the victim may separate. (Galatians 5:19-21; Titus 1:7) “Anyone loving violence [God’s] soul certainly hates.”—Psalm 11:5.
Another ground for separation is the absolute endangerment of a believer’s spirituality—one’s relationship with God. When a mate’s opposition, perhaps including physical restraint, has made it impossible to pursue true worship and has imperiled the believer’s spirituality, then some believers have found it necessary to separate.—Matthew 22:37; Acts 5:27-32.However, if divorce is pursued under such circumstances, one would not be free to enter a new marriage. According to the Bible, the only legitimate ground for divorce that permits remarriage is adultery or “fornication.”—Matthew 5:32.
First reaction is to end the marriage
^First reaction was to execute the guilty party under the Law, effectively ended the marriage. No encouragement to take anyone back in the Law for adultery; only David escaped the legal punishment.
true Christians--^only jws
*** w06 4/15 p. 4 How Well Do You Communicate? ***
How can husband and wife deal with their differences in a peaceful way and communicate their feelings in a pleasant manner? You may be interested to know that the most practical suggestions are found, not in a recent book by a marriage counselor, but in an ancient book that has been appreciated for centuries—the Bible.
YET the WTS will cite a marriage counselor (though fails to say who and when and where)(Judith S. Wallerstein, social psychologistl
http://www.suite101.com/lesson.cfm/19164/2818/3
In one of the few recent in-depth studies of happy marriages along with the consequences of failed families, social psychologist Judith S. Wallerstein and science writer Sandra Blakeslee find that “a good marriage is a process of continual change. . . [and] is built on a series of sequential psychological tasks that the man and the woman address together.”
http://ebooks.palm.com/author/detail/4228
Judith S. Wallerstein is widely considered the world's foremost authority on the effects of divorce. The founder and executive director of the Center for the Family in Transition, she has for many years been a senior lecturer at the School of Social Welfare at the University of California at Berkeley.
*** w05 3/1 p. 15 par. 2 Wise Guidance for Married Couples ***
One marriage counselor said: “A good marriage is a process of continual change as it reflects new issues, deals with problems that arise, and uses the resources available at each stage of life.” Brelatives, and others--including some marriage counselors--who do not recognize Bible principles often encourage couples to separate on unscriptural grounds.
*** g83 7/22 pp. 6-7 Will the Counselor Respect Your Conscience? ***
For instance, what if you have strong convictions about Bible principles? Dr. Lawrence Onoda, a clinical psychologist, says: “For the most part, most marriage counselors advocate a neutral position regarding religion in general. While not supporting it, their official position is to be accepting and nonjudgmental toward people with different views.”He adds, however, “Marriage counselors in general proceed on the premise that there are no universal ‘truths’ such as reflected in the Bible. Most marriage counselors base their standards of marriage on theories men have devised or on their own personal beliefs.” So what is going to happen to John and Jane? They may, like some couples, be helped by marriage counselors. Or they may, like others, be lost somewhere in that maze of marriage theorists and atheistic professionals.
Are only elders and other "mature" jws (translation: older female jws whose reputation is approved of by the elders) qualified to counsel?
^If some non-jw marriage counselors do "recognize Bible principles," are they qualified?
Jehovah's way = ^WTS way or the highway
not according to the counsel of others--^including the elders?
Snippet (1) NT
Citation (1) OT
Overcoming Difficulties
Q4, 5) (a) What challenges must be met in a marriage? (b) Why do the principles found in God's Word really work, even when problems arise in a marriage?
4) The fact is that every marriage needs attention from time to time. In most cases, that will involve the settling of minor disagreements. In some marriages, though, there may be more severe challenges that threaten the foundation of the relationship. At times, you may need to ask for help from an experienced married Christian elder. However, these situations do not mean that your marriage is a failure. They merely ighlight the importance of adhering closely to Bible principles in working out solutions.
settling minor disagreements
^How many jws still run to the elders with every "minor disagreement" just like the are trained subliminally to run to the elders for input on every "conscience matter?" Isn't this at least partly why elders know so much about the personal sex lives of many jws?
more severe challenges
ask for help from an experienced married Christian (^only jw) elder
*** w86 9/15 p. 11 par. 5 Skillful Counselors—A Blessing to Their Brothers ***
Similarly today, counseling is not the prerogative solely of elders. Parents counsel their children regularly. Young people like Terri are often successful in counseling their peers. And the Bible specifically encourages mature sisters to be “teachers of what is good,” especially to younger women in the congregation.
^Does that mean single elders cannot help? Jesus gave advice on marriage and he was not married; he was even "engaged" yet (Pentecost 33 CE?).
Importance of adhering closely to Bible principles--WTS principles
*** w88 6/1 p. 20 par. 19 Accurate Knowledge of God and His Son Leads to Life ***
Since such a doctrine makes it appear that only theologians can understand Bible teachings, it also suits the religious leaders of Christendom. This helps them to maintain their hold on the common people. Does the WTS teach that only some anointed jws can understand, and you if do not, you must trust that they are special in God's giving out knowledge?
(no scriptures)
5) As the Creator of the human race and the Originator of the marriage arrangement, Jehovah knows better than anyone else what we need in order to have a successful marital relationship. The question is, Will we listen to the counsel found in his Word and obey it? We certainly stand to benefit if we do. Jehovah stated to his ancient people: "O if only you would actually pay attention to my commandments! Then your peace would become just like a river, and your righteousness like the waves of the sea." (Isaiah 48:18) Adhering to the guidelines set out in the Bible can bring success to a marriage. Let us first consider the counsel that the Bible gives to husbands.
Jehovah knows better than anyone else what we need in order to have a successful marital relationship
Will we listen to the counsel found in his Word and obey it--^as "explained" by the WTS
^WTS only channel to understanding what God knows (see WT quotes above)
"pay attention to my commandments"
Where is the commandment that says that oral sex is not allowed between people married to each other? Are we to believe that oral sex was not "invented" until after the bible was written?
Snippet (0)
Citation (0)
Quote (1) OT (now you get the drift...you try it on the next week's article)
[Picture on page 20] A husband should be a good provider, not only materially but also spiritually
^Publications play a more prominent place in this picture rather than Bible
Cellphone on bible lying on table
Wife has only one earring in each lobe (does your congregation have a "rule" for how many "good" Christian (jw) women wear?
Husband has no tie; I bet if we could see her whole outfit, she would have a skirt on.
Seems to be only one bible and husband has control of it
It is no accident that we can see his ring finger...or what do you think?
"Continue Loving Your Wives"
Q6) What is the Scriptural counsel for husbands?
6) The apostle Paul's letter to the Ephesians contains clear guidelines for husbands. Paul wrote: "Husbands, continue loving your wives, just as the Christ also loved the congregation and delivered up himself for it. In this way husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation. Nevertheless, also, let each one of you individually so love his wife as he does himself."-Ephesians 5:25, 28, 29, 33.
clear guidelines for husbands
continuing loving your wives...loving their wives as their own bodies
^so what Christian husband let alone jw husband should ever yell, scream, beat, or otherwise abuse his wife?
no man has hated his own flesh
Q7) (a) What should be a prominent part of the foundation of a Christian marriage? (b) How do husbands continue loving their wives?
7) Paul does not discuss every conceivable problem that might arise between a husband and a wife. Rather, he gets to the core of the matter by identifying what should be a prominent part of the foundation of every Christian marriage--love. In fact, love is mentioned six times in the above verses. Note, too, that Paul tells husbands: "Continue loving your wives." No doubt, Paul recognized that falling in love is likely to be much easier than staying in love. This is especially so during these "last days," when many are "lovers of themselves" and "not open to any agreement." (2 Timothy 3:1-3) Such negative qualities are eroding many marriages today, but a loving husband will not let the world's selfish traits influence his thinking and actions.-Romans 12:2.
Paul does not discuss every conceivable problem
^Yet the elders have the guidebook "Pay Attention to the Flock" and 100's of letters from the WTS/FDS/GB along with verbal "suggestions" from the COs and DOs as how to do so.
^Why do so many jws marry young in the organization? No premarital sex, status as a woman determined by having a husband and his status, competition steep since there are more single female jws than male and jws are not to marry non-jws. Are they mature enough? No but jw parents would rather they marry young, than have sex and get df'd and shunned. It is similar logic for letting a six-year old be baptized as a jw; so they won't die at Armageddon because they don't fall under their parents' "family merit."
"lovers of themselves" "not open to any agreement"
My husband when an elder said his meetings with the rank and file were almost always about marriage problems. He did not see where jws were any more successful than non-jws.
How Can You Provide for Your Wife?
Q8, 9) In what ways does a Christian husband provide for his wife?
8) If you are a Christian husband, how can you resist selfish tendencies and display genuine love for your wife? In his words to the Ephesians quoted earlier, Paul identified two things that you need to do--provide for your wife, and cherish her just as you do your own body. How can you provide for your spouse? One way is materially--taking care of your wife's physical needs. Paul wrote to Timothy: "Certainly if anyone does not provide for those who are his own, and especially for those who are members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith."-1 Timothy 5:8.
Christian husband--^jw husband
Provide and...cherish...wife's physical needs (^talking about sex?)
9) However, more is involved than merely providing food, clothing, and shelter. Why? Because a husband can be very good at supplying his wife's material needs and yet fall short in satisfying her emotional and spiritual needs. Providing for her in these latter ways is essential. True, many Christian men are very busy caring for matters relating to the congregation. But having weighty congregation responsibilities does not mean that a husband should neglect fulfilling his God-given obligations as a family head. (1 Timothy 3:5, 12) Commenting on this matter, some years ago this journal made the following statement: "In accordance with Biblical requirements, it can be said that `shepherding begins at home.' If an elder neglects his family, he could jeopardize his appointment."* (Footnote: * See The Watchtower, May 15, 1989, page 12.) Clearly, it is imperative that you provide for your wife--physically, emotionally and, most important of all, spiritually.
more...than providing food, clothing, and shelter...emotional and spiritual needs (where's the sexual needs; oh right women don't have a very high sex drive)
Christian men (^jw men) are very busy caring for matters relating to the congregation
^Administrative things since it is easy to see that the vast bulk of the preaching/teaching is done by the women. What comes first Bethel or the congregation or your wife? You will find that jw men at that facility routinely neglect meetings and preaching and their wives to take care of WTS administrative business. Elders see that as the model. I knew several elders who did not study the WT even with their wives although they were the WT study conductor.
Clearly, it is imperative that you provide for your wife--physically, emotionally and, most important of all, spiritually (what happened to sexually).
[Picture on page 21] A man who cherishes his wife is a source of refreshment to her (so when was the last time a jw hubbie helped with dinner rather than sitting in the living watching the tv since he had "worked" all day and needed to rest?).
What Does It Mean to Cherish Your Wife?
Q10) How can a husband cherish his wife?
10) If you cherish your wife, you take good care of her because you love her. There are several ways in which you can do this. First, spend adequate time with your mate. If you neglect your wife in this regard, her love for you may grow cold. Consider, too, that what you think your wife needs in the way of time and attention may not be what she feels she needs. It is not simply a matter of saying that you cherish your spouse. Your wife must feel cherished. Paul wrote: "Let each one keep seeking, not his own advantage, but that of the other person." (1 Corinthians 10:24) As a loving husband, you want to make sure that you understand the actual needs of your wife.-Philippians 2:4.
cherish your wife (subtitle); cherish his wife (question); cherish your wife (paragraph) Overkill perhaps?
Adequate time with your mate--^who decides what is adequate, the head of the family, the husband of course.
Not simply saying
Show Me
Freddy Speak and the world is full of singing,
And I'm winging Higher than the birds.
Touch and my heart begins to crumble,
The heaven's tumble,
Darling, and I'm... Eliza
Words! Words! Words! I'm so sick of words!
I get words all day through;
First from him, now from you! Is that all you blighters can do?
Don't talk of stars Burning above; If you're in love,
Show me! Tell me no dreams
Filled with desire. If you're on fire,
Show me!
Here we are together in the middle of the night!
Don't talk of spring! Just hold me tight!
Anyone who's ever been in love'll tell you that
This is no time for a chat!
Haven't your lips longed for my touch?
Don't say how much,
Show me! Show me!
Don't talk of love lasting through time.
Make me no undying vow. Show me now!
Sing me no song! Read me no rhyme!
Don't waste my time,
Show me!
Don't talk of June, Don't talk of fall!
Don't talk at all!
Show me!
Never do I ever want to hear another word.
There isn't one I haven't heard.
Here we are together in what ought to be a dream;
Day one more word and I'll scream!
Haven't your arms Hungered for mine?
Please don't "expl'ine,"
Show me! Show me!
Don't wait until wrinkles and lines
Pop out all over my brow,
Show me now!
^Why them do elders say they are too busy doing congregation business to shepherding the sheep then turn around and say they are too busy shepherding the sheep to do congregation business.
Could jeopardize his appointment--^just could, only when a family member is publicly reproved or df'd that the elder body finally decides that the congregation should have come first.
Q11) How is a husband's relationship with God and the congregation affected by the way he treats his wife?
11) Another way to show that you cherish your wife is by treating her tenderly, both in speech and in action. (Proverbs 12:18) Paul wrote to the Colossians: "You husbands, keep on loving your wives and do not be bitterly angry with them." (Colossians 3:19) According to one reference work, the latter part of Paul's statement may be rendered idiomatically as "do not treat her like a maid" or "do not make a slave of her." A husband who is a tyrant--either in private or in public--is certainly not showing that he cherishes his wife. By treating his wife harshly, he could affect his relationship with God. The apostle Peter wrote to husbands: "Continue dwelling in like manner with [your wives] according to knowledge, assigning them honor as to a weaker vessel, the feminine one, since you are also heirs with them of the undeserved favor of life, in order for your prayers not to be hindered."* (Footnote: * To qualify for privileges in the Christian congregation, a man must not be "a smiter"--that is, one who strikes others physically or browbeats them verbally. Thus, the September 1, 1990, issue of The Watchtower states on page 25: "A man does not qualify if he acts in a godly way elsewhere but is a tyrant at home."-1 Timothy 3:2-5, 12.)-1 Peter 3:7.
by treating her tenderly, both in speech and in action (show me now)
^No swearing...no screaming...no hitting...no demeaning words
"do not treat her like a maid" "do not make a slave of her"
Did you know that women were property of men in the bible?
*** it-1 pp. 807-808 Family ***
While the seventh commandment, in forbidding adultery, served to safeguard the family unit, the tenth commandment, by forbidding wrong desires, further protected the integrity of one’s own family as well as the other man’s house and family. The things most common to family life were protected by this commandment, namely, house, *wife, servants, animals, and *other property.—Ex 20:17.
By treating his wife harshly, he could affect his relationship with God.
^but still could be one of the good old boys on the elder body.
weaker vessel
^Weaker spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically?
*** w82 10/1 p. 24 par. 15 “Carry On as Men” ***
This is true even though *physically the womenfolk are each “a weaker vessel, the feminine one.”—1 Peter 3:7.
Q12) What can a Christian husband learn from the way Jesus treated the Christian congregation?
12) Never take the love of your wife for granted. Reassure her of your continuing love. Jesus set an example for Christian husbands in the way he treated the Christian congregation. He was gentle, kind, and forgiving-even when his followers repeatedly manifested negative traits. Jesus could therefore say to others: "Come to me.... for I am mild-tempered and lowly in heart, and you will find refreshment for your souls." (Matthew 11:28, 29) In imitation of Jesus, a Christian husband treats his wife in the same way that Jesus treated the congregation. A man who truly cherishes his wife, showing this in word and deed, will be a source of genuine refreshment to her.
Never take the love of your wife for granted. Reassure her of your continuing love.
^So jw wives or past jw wives, how do jw men reassure their wives?
^Did Jesus call Martha "a stupid cow" because she was busy cooking rather than listening to Jesus teach?
Wives Who Live by Bible Principles
Q13) What principles does the Bible contain that can help wives?
13) The Bible also contains principles that can help wives. Ephesians 5:22-24, 33 states: "Let wives be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord, because a husband is head of his wife as the Christ also is head of the congregation, he being a savior of this body. In fact, as the congregation is in subjection to the Christ, so let wives also be to their husbands in everything.... The wife should have deep respect for her husband."
principles...be in subjection to their husbands as to the Lord...in subjection...deep respect for her husband
Is it true as they say in the WTS marriage talk outline, that men need respect like women crave love?
Q14) Why is the Scriptural principle of subjection not demeaning to women?
14) Note the emphasis that Paul placed on subjection and respect. A wife is reminded to subject herself to her husband. This is in harmony with God's arrangement. Every living creature in heaven and on earth is subject to someone. Even Jesus is in subjection to Jehovah God. (1 Corinthians 11:3) Of course, a husband who exercises his headship in a proper manner will make it easier for his wife to remain in subjection. Every living creature in heaven and on earth is subject to someone.
But do the elders respect the COs and DOs, traveling representatives of the WTS? Or do they pray for the day he moves on after his 3 years and they get a new CO and can throw the last COs directives?
Q15) What is some of the counsel for wives that is found in the Bible?
15) Paul also stated that a wife "should have deep respect for her husband." A Christian wife should manifest a "quiet and mild spirit," not arrogantly challenging her husband or taking an independent course. (1 Peter 3:4) A godly wife works hard for the good of the household and brings honor to her head. (Titus 2:4, 5) She will endeavor to speak well of her husband and thus do nothing to cause others to disrespect him. She will also work hard to make his decisions succeed.-Proverbs 14:1.
not arrogantly challenging her husband or taking an independent course...works hard for the good of the household...speak well of her husband and thus do nothing to cause others to disrespect him.
*** w89 5/15 p. 17 par. 7 Showing Love and Respect as a Wife ***
Many of our Christian sisters have unbelieving and sometimes opposing husbands. Do these circumstances mean that Peter’s counsel is then null and void? No, subjection and respect are required even if “any are not obedient to the word.” Therefore, would it be a sign of deep respect if a Christian wife with an opposing husband were to come to the Kingdom Hall and gossip about him, recounting to many sisters in the congregation all the ill-treatment she had received from him? If she did that with regard to a brother or a sister in the congregation, what would it be called? Gossip, or perhaps even slander. Therefore, it is not evidence of deep respect for a wife to malign her unbelieving husband. (1 Timothy 3:11; 5:13) Yet, it has to be recognized that some opposed sisters have a serious problem. What is the Christian solution? They can go to the elders and seek their help and advice.—Hebrews 13:17.
she will also work hard to make his decisions succeed
^Even if they have failed ten times before or are not based on "scriptural principles"? What about Abigail, what would have happened if she had made Nabal's decisions "succeed."
^There's one NT example they failed to mention in this article. She disobeyed and saved herself, her husband, and all his household from being slaughtered by David for failing to show hospitality. I wonder why that isn't a df'ing offense; it would have resulted in someone's execution?
*** it-1 pp. 20-21 Abigail ***
Following the prophet Samuel’s death, David and his men moved into the area where the flocks of Abigail’s husband were pastured. David’s men thereafter were like a protective “wall” around Nabal’s shepherds and flocks, night and day. So, when shearing time came, David sent some young men up to Carmel to call Nabal’s attention to the good service rendered him and to request an offering of food from him. (1Sa 25:4-8, 15, 16) But miserly Nabal screamed rebukes at them and insulted David as if he were an inconsequential person, and all of them as if they were possibly runaway slaves. (1Sa 25:9-11, 14) This so angered David that he girded on his sword and led about 400 men toward Carmel to wipe out Nabal and the men of his household.—1Sa 25:12, 13, 21, 22.
Abigail, hearing of the incident through a disturbed servant, showed her wise perception by immediately rounding up an ample supply of food and grain and then sent these ahead of her in care of her servants, much as Jacob had done before making contact with Esau. (1Sa 25:14-19; Ge 32:13-20) Without saying anything to her husband, she rode to meet David, and in a long and fervent plea, which manifested wisdom and logic as well as respect and humility, she convinced David that her husband’s senseless words did not justify the unrighteous shedding of blood or the failure to trust in Jehovah to settle the matter in a right way himself. (1Sa 25:14-20, 23-31) David thanked God for the woman’s good sense and quick action.—1Sa 25:32-35; compare Pr 25:21, 22; 15:1, 2.
Returning home, Abigail waited for her husband to sober up from a drunken feast and then informed him of her actions. Now “his heart came to be dead inside him, and he himself became as a stone,” and after ten days Jehovah caused him to expire. When the news reached David, he sent a marriage proposal to Abigail, which she did not hesitate to accept. She shared David’s affections along with Ahinoam, a Jezreelitess, whom David had previously taken as wife. David’s first wife, Michal, had already been given by her father Saul to another man.—1Sa 25:36-44.
Q16) What can Christian wives learn from the examples of Sarah and Rebekah?
16) Having a quiet and mild spirit does not mean that a Christian woman does not have opinions or that her thinking is unimportant. Godly women of old, such as Sarah and Rebekah, took the initiative to express their concern about matters, and the Bible record shows that Jehovah approved of their actions. (Genesis 21:8-12; 27:46-28:4) Christian wives too can make their feelings known. However, they should do so considerately, not in demeaning tones. They will likely find that such communication will be more pleasing and effective. Having a quiet and mild spirit does not mean that a Christian (only jw) woman does not have opinions or that her thinking is unimportant. Godly women of old, such as Sarah and Rebekah, took the initiative to express their concern about matters, and the Bible record shows that Jehovah approved of their actions.
Where are the NT examples? Why compare Christian women to non-Christian women?
What about wives today in the WTS? Who do they express their opinions to...only their husbands...any opinions or thoughts must go through the jw husband not directly to the elders. No jw husband, then the elders might talk to you directly with him attending. Imagine talking to the elders about your husband's contributions to a flawed marriage with him sitting there and you are dismissed when he tells "his side." Then after hearing the standard line re what husbands are to do, the old boy network assures him that he has every right to tell his wife that he is the head and she has to get in line, undercutting any statement to you that you are not the only person contributing to the problem. One older female jw was told that if she was a "better Christian" she would not be having marriage problems.
considerately...not demeaning tones...
^such as this statement "they will likely find that such communication will be more pleasing and effective." Elders take note too!!!!!
[Picture on page 23] Christian wives make their feelings known in a respectful way (I don't think her shirt would pass the bendover test)
The Role of Commitment
Q17, 18) What are some of the ways in which husbands and wives can resist Satan's attempts to destroy the marital union?
17) Marriage is a lifelong commitment. Therefore, both husband and wife should have a genuine desire to make the marriage work. Lack of open communication can allow problems to fester and become serious. Too often, marriage mates stop communicating when problems develop, causing resentment. Some spouses even look for a way out of the relationship, perhaps developing a romantic interest outside the marriage. Jesus warned: "Everyone that keeps on looking at a woman so as to have a passion for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."-Matthew 5:28.
Lack of open communication--^notice they said "open" communication not just communication. Why do you think they did that? What if the other
person is "not entitled to the truth"? Isn't lying justified?
How does the communication with your spouse compare with the communication with the elders, e.g.?
look for a way out of the relationship...romantic interest outside the marriage
Can a jw be df'd for thinking about have sex with someone other than their spouse? Can a spouse get a "scriptural" jw divorce on the basis that the other mate is into pornography? (see article below re df'ing for viewing pornography; anyone with reference to past discussion about new df'ing offense on this please post.)
18) The apostle Paul counseled all Christians, including married Christians: "Be wrathful, and yet do not sin; let the sun not set with you in a provoked state, neither allow place for the Devil." (Ephesians 4:26, 27) Our chief enemy, Satan, tries to take advantage of differences that may arise between Christians. Do not let him succeed! When problems arise, research what the Bible says about Jehovah's thinking on matters, using Bible-based publications. Discuss differences calmly and honestly. Bridge any gap between what you know about Jehovah's standards and what you actually do to apply them. (James 1:22-25) When it comes to your marriage, be determined to continue walking with God as a couple, and do not let anyone or anything put apart what he has yoked together!-Micah 6:8.
When problems arise, research what the Bible says about Jehovah's thinking on matters, using Bible-based publications.
They don't even say "bible" AND bible-based publications now.
Do You Recall?
• Why can even Christian marriages experience problems?
• How can a husband provide for his wife and show that he cherishes her?
• What can a wife do to show that she deeply respects her husband?
• How can a husband and a wife strengthen their commitment?
Concluding Comments
First the men, then the men and the women, next week, the "youths" another way of saying "young ones" an irritating phrase. Youths--Pursue Goals That Honor God the WTS Remember the drama last year about Timothy and the made up parts added to the Bible story? See a picturof 2 elders with beards. See 2 male jws with mustaches...there was a time that only blacks and Hispanics could have mustaches because it was a "cultural thing."
Who is your commanding officer, Jesus or the WTS/FDS/GB?
It has been a busy week, folks. I have been pursuing the cause of my new illness. The only good thing from it is that I am losing weight. Blondie has a few advoirpois, so no danger yet. We have been putting in the flowers and garden with a little help from our friends and neighbors.
I have been having several meetings at work to help our division get up to date and streamlined. I am happy to see many of my outsider suggestions being implemented but some of the oldtimers aren't.
It has been dry around here and hubbie is running around making the lawn greener.
Haven't read or seen much news either. Is the world at war yet?
Remember yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that is why they call it "the present."
Love, Blondie
Additional article:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/10/89023/1.ashx/Comments+You+Will+Not+Hear+at+the+4-17-05+WT+Study
*** w06 7/15 pp. 29-31 Questions From Readers *** (no time to clean this up)
Can a person be disfellowshipped from the Christian congregation for engaging in uncleanness as he can be for fornication or loose conduct?
Yes, an individual can be expelled from the congregation if he unrepentantly practices either fornication, some forms of uncleanness, or loose
conduct. The apostle Paul cites all three of these sins along with other disfellowshipping offenses when he writes: “The works of the flesh are
manifest, and they are fornication, uncleanness, loose conduct . . . I am forewarning you . . . that those who practice such things will not inherit
God’s kingdom.”—Galatians 5:19-21.
Fornication (Greek, por·nei'a) applies to illicit sexual relations outside Scriptural marriage. It includes adultery, prostitution, and sex relations
between unmarried individuals as well as oral and anal sex and the sexual manipulation of the genitals of an individual to whom one is not
married. A person who unrepentantly practices fornication does not belong in the Christian congregation.
Loose conduct (Greek, a·sel'gei·a) denotes “licentiousness; wantonness; shameless conduct; lewdness of conduct.” The New Thayer’s
Greek-English Lexicon defines the Greek term as “unbridled lust, . . . outrageousness, shamelessness, insolence.” According to another lexicon,
loose conduct is a form of behavior that “violates all bounds of what is socially acceptable.”
As the foregoing definitions show, “loose conduct” involves two elements: (1) The conduct itself is a serious violation of God’s laws, and (2) the
attitude of the wrongdoer is disrespectful, insolent.
Therefore, “loose conduct” does not refer to bad conduct of a minor nature. It pertains to acts that are serious violations of God’s laws and that
reflect a brazen or boldly contemptuous attitude—a spirit that betrays disrespect or even contempt for authority, laws, and standards. Paul links
loose conduct with illicit intercourse. (Romans 13:13, 14) Since Galatians 5:19-21 lists loose conduct among a number of sinful practices that
would disqualify one from inheriting God’s Kingdom, loose conduct is grounds for reproof and possible disfellowshipping from the Christian
congregation.
Uncleanness (Greek, a·ka·thar·si'a) is the broadest of the three terms rendered “fornication,” “uncleanness,” and “loose conduct.” It embraces
impurity of any kind—in sexual matters, in speech, in action, and in spiritual relationships. “Uncleanness” covers a wide range of serious sins.
As recorded at 2 Corinthians 12:21, Paul refers to those who “formerly sinned but have not repented over their uncleanness and fornication and
loose conduct that they have practiced.” Since “uncleanness” is listed with “fornication and loose conduct,” some forms of uncleanness warrant
judicial action. But uncleanness is a broad term that includes things that are not of a judicial nature. Just as a house may be somewhat dirty or
completely filthy, uncleanness has degrees.
Paul said, according to Ephesians 4:19, that some individuals had “come to be past all moral sense” and that “they gave themselves over to
loose conduct to work uncleanness of every sort with greediness.” Paul thus puts “uncleanness . . . with greediness” in the same category as
loose conduct. If a baptized person unrepentantly practices “uncleanness . . . with greediness,” he can be expelled from the congregation on the
grounds of gross uncleanness.
Suppose an engaged couple indulged in passion-arousing heavy petting on numerous occasions. The elders might determine that even though
these individuals did not manifest a brazen attitude characterizing loose conduct, there was a measure of greediness in their conduct. So the
elders might take judicial action because gross uncleanness was involved. Gross uncleanness might also be appropriate grounds for handling a
case involving a person who repeatedly makes sexually explicit telephone calls to another person, especially if he was previously counseled
about the matter.
The elders need discernment in making such judgments. To determine whether judicial action is warranted, they must carefully look at what
happened and the extent to which it was done. It is not a matter of charging with loose conduct anyone who does not accept Scriptural counsel;
nor is it a case of deciding mathematically how many times a person can commit a certain sinful act before judicial action is required. Elders
should carefully and prayerfully weigh each situation and find out what occurred and how often, the nature and extent of the misconduct, and the
intent and motive of the wrongdoer.
Gross uncleanness entails more than sexual sins. For instance, a baptized boy might smoke a few cigarettes in a short period of time and
confess this to his parents. He is determined not to smoke again. This is uncleanness, but it has not escalated to the point of being gross
uncleanness or “uncleanness . . . with greediness.” Scriptural counsel from an elder or two along with support from the boy’s parents should
suffice. But if the boy is a frequent user of tobacco, this would be a deliberate defilement of the flesh, and a judicial committee would be
convened to consider this case of gross uncleanness. (2 Corinthians 7:1) If the boy is not repentant, he would be disfellowshipped.
*Some Christians have become involved in the viewing of pornography. This is offensive to God, and the elders may be shocked that a fellow
believer has done this. But not all viewing of pornography calls for a hearing before a judicial committee. For example, suppose a brother viewed
so-called soft-core pornography on several occasions. He is ashamed, confesses to an elder, and is determined not to repeat this sin. The elder
might well conclude that the brother’s conduct did not escalate to the point that he engaged in “uncleanness . . . with greediness”; nor did he
display a brazen attitude, indicating loose conduct. Although no judicial action would be warranted, this type of uncleanness would call for strong
Scriptural counsel and perhaps follow-up help from the elders.
*However, suppose a Christian has secretly viewed abhorrent, sexually degrading pornography for years and has done everything possible to
conceal this sin. Such pornography might feature gang rape, bondage, sadistic torture, the brutalizing of women, or even child pornography.
When others become aware of his conduct, he is deeply ashamed. He has not been brazen, but the elders may determine that he has ‘given
himself over’ to this filthy habit and has practiced ‘uncleanness with greediness,’ that is, gross uncleanness. A judicial committee would be
formed because gross uncleanness is involved. The wrongdoer would be disfellowshipped if he did not display godly repentance and the
determination never to view pornography again. If he invited others to his home to view pornography—in effect, promoting it—he would give
evidence of a brazen attitude characterizing loose conduct.
The Scriptural term “loose conduct” always involves serious sin, often sexual in nature. When trying to identify loose conduct, elders should look
for brazenness, wantonness, filthiness, shamelessness, and what is shocking to public decency. On the other hand, serious transgressions of
Jehovah’s law that are committed by a person who does not manifest a brazen attitude may involve “greediness.” These cases have to be
handled on the basis of the gross uncleanness that they involve.
Determining whether someone has gone far enough to be guilty of gross uncleanness or loose conduct is a serious responsibility, for lives are
involved. Those judging such cases should do so prayerfully, asking God for his holy spirit, discernment, and understanding. Elders need to
maintain the purity of the congregation and must base their judgment on God’s Word as well as on the direction of “the faithful and discreet
slave.” (Matthew 18:18; 24:45) And in these evil days, more than ever before, elders need to bear in mind the words: “See what you are doing,
because it is not for man that you judge but it is for Jehovah.”—2 Chronicles 19:6.