I can't do it (page 2)

Good Girl or Bad Girl?

I'm so sorry, Nos, you don't deserve to feel this way, least of all in your own home! It has to be infuriorating to deal with people who have hurt you so much and then act like you're the one with the problem. And then they think they can just be in the life of your child! (((((((Nos))))))))

Hortensia

I'm sorry you feel so bad - it amazes me that abusers can totally blame the victim for everything - and then claim you are holding a grudge. Let them call it what they will, you don't want them around. Have some major fireworks, tell them all off, tell them to never speak to you again. What have you got to lose? You don't want those abusers cozying up to your children and convincing them that something is wrong with YOU.

free2think

I'm sorry, I don't know what to say Nos. Just know i'm thinking of you. I hope they've left now.

(((((((((hugs))))))))))

blondie

Nos, I can remember deciding to have my children in the "new system" when keeping them away from my parents would be easier, because they would be dead (later I decided that horrors they might live through the GT). My husband and I decided not to have children and nature supported our decision. Today, I would go ahead and have a child and keep the basta*ds away. You have taken a brave but wonderful step to share life with this little person despite your fears. Moving far away enough to make visiting difficult might be a solution if it is a good decision for other reasons.

Love, Blondie

Nosferatu

Moving far away enough to make visiting difficult might be a solution if it is a good decision for other reasons.

Blondie, me and my wife actually talked about that last night. After this incident, I'm quite tempted to move. There's only a few people and things that are keeping me here. I almost think I'd be better off somewhere else.

This morning, I'm thinking about what happened. My sister-in-law and her mother went against the parents' wishes and handed my boy over to my mother. She knows the reasons why we didn't want my mother near our child. What seemed like a small group of family members we can't trust is growing into a longer string. I'm really in disbelief at all of this.

I think a phone call to my sis-in-law is in order.

I feel like I've been fighting an uphill battle all my life. I'm so tired from it. Every once in a while, I'll get a moment where I wonder if I'm the one who's wrong. But then I remember how much my mother loved beating children. She used to tell me how much she enjoyed beating me. Then I'll remember all the others here who have endured abuse. All of it tells me that I'm doing the right thing. Unfortunately, it seems like the army I'm fighting is getting bigger.

jgnat

Count us as the army on the other side. Yes, let that side of the family wallow in their own delusion as you distance yourself from them. They have to face themselves every morning in the mirror.

LeslieV

I sure don't blame you for not wanting your mom touching your child. Anyone that can beat their own child certainly would not stop at grandchildren... Your number one priority is your family your wife and child, the rest are not worth your anxiety. Move and don't give anyone the address. JMO

Leslie

Nowman

Nos, sorry just reading the threads from the weekend and I have to say this one hit home. I too was abused by my mother and my step father until I was 16-17. Once I left, I did not see mom from 92-2000. My mom was DFd. I did not know that she had become an alchoholic. Anyway, in May 2003, after my mom had been "6 months" sober, she came to visit for my bridal shower. The Friday before though, she stayed with my two little ones (at the time my daugher was 6 and my son 4) while I went to work. At about 10:00am, my mom calls me at work. She all of sudden starts bringing up the past. I ask her, have you been drinking, she says, I ve only had a glass of wine. I say, while with Haley and Dylan? She says yes but I only had one in slurred speech. About 8 months prior to this, I go out to visit her in AZ. We travel to Sedona, my mom has alot of wine (I had wine too, but did not know state my mom was in) all day long, I am just thinking my mom wants to party a bit.

On the way home from Sedona, her personality changes, and all of a sudden I am the bad guy for no reason, I make a comment, she comes from the back seat and starts punching my head and my neck. My husband pulls over. He threatens to alert the sheriff who drives by, she backs off, then she passes out in the back seat. I ride on the floor of the drivers seat because I am so afraid she is going to come at me again....she never remembered doing it. I never brought it up.

Anyway, back to my kids. I had to leave work that day because my mom was blasted watching my two kids. All was OK, I got home, really couldn't confront her in her state, she went upstairs and passed out...

My point is, I too felt the same way about my mother. The good news is that my mom has been 4 years sober and has proven to me her life is much better, but I have not seen her since I married 8/23/03. She has not seen her grandchildren either, nor has she met her new grandchild born 2/5/07. I love her, but our relationship will never be normal mother/daughter, sad, but not my fault.

Nikki

unique1

Before my wife got pregnant, I confronted my mother about all the abuse. She denied all of it and claims I'm making things up.

Wow that sure sounds familiar. Sorry. Hang in there.

rebel8

Next time I talk to my sister-in-law, I'm going to ask her why she thought it was a really good idea to hand my baby boy to a child abuser.

OMG I am so mad right now listening to this. Are these people out of their ^&*(*$% minds?

So sorry you went through this, again. I don't know how you keep yourself so calm. You are a better person than I am.

I can't do it

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