Do DF'd or DA'd people...

by Trippin2962 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Trippin2962
    Trippin2962

    get to talk to each other? If two DF'd people saw each other on the street and both knew the other was DF'd or DA'd would they speak to each other?

    I know some still live by the JW code of conduct and would be afraid to speak to the other person... but why? they're already out of the borg at this point. What should it matter? Have you ever known about a case like this? Or if you are DF'd or DA'd how do you act towards another XJW that you see out in your travels? Do you speak to this person not knowing where they stand in their beliefs?

    My DF'd family members have moved away from my town and I don't know if I should call them or not. I am a little afraid that they will tell me "you know you should not be speaking to me - I am DF'd"!

    Personally, I am not DF'd DA'd (just faded) but they know I am not living like a JW (that's for sure). Do any of you have a situation like this or know of someone who does?

  • Poztate
    Poztate
    If two DF'd people saw each other on the street and both knew the other was DF'd or DA'd would they speak to each other?

    If one or both were trying to get back in they would shun just in case an elder might be watching. If they both showed up at the K.H. they would definitely shun each other just to show how much they wanted to get back in.......The JW's are a sick little bunch and the DF'ing policys just help to underline the facts.

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    I da'd and I speak to whomever I please. I suggest contacting your df'd relatives. They'll probably be glad to hear you're out of the cult.

    W

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    When your df'd your a free agent. You can even go to another church or be an atheist. You do whatever you want.

  • fifi40
    fifi40

    Ermmmmmmmm....................yes, well I certainly do...............one of my best male buddys is a d/fed JW.............I met him not long after I split from first hubby and my d/fship and he was a great help and support to me during those first years..............I usually meet up with him about once a week at the pub, he has a wicked sense of humour and gets on great with hubby no.2.

    And when I was first d/fed I actually went and saw 2 friends from a previous congregation who had been d/fed..............I dont believe in being told what to do by a bunch of loon's who have just chucked you out..........

    Fi

  • Mum
    Mum

    If you would like to talk to your DF'd family member, that is what you should do, just call. If they don't wish to speak to you, it's their call. Do what is right for you.

    Regards,

    SandraC

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut
    I know some still live by the JW code of conduct and would be afraid to speak to the other person

    Only in cases where they are trying to get reinstated, would this be any issue to anybody.
    Even then, most BOE have not addressed this to the DF'ed person, and I believe most
    DF'ed people would be of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" mentality.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    As you can see, many do.

    The issue is whether you ACCEPT WATCHTOWER CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE any longer.

    If you feel they ARE the "faithful and disreet slave" and that they alone hold the keys to your survival through Armageddon© and eternal salvation, then you darned sure better jump when they say jump.

  • blondie
    blondie

    There have been questions whether an active JW married to a da'd or df'd person could come to the meetings in the same car with them, sit with them at the meetings, or even talk to them at the meeting. What do they do use sign language to communicate when it is time to go home or if they need to stop unexpectedly somewhere on the way home?

    *** w59 7/15 p. 448 Questions From Readers ***

    If an individual is disfellowshiped, but continues in quiet attendance at the Kingdom Hall, is it proper for that one’s marriage mate to sit with such a one during the meetings?—J. F., Switzerland.With a view to helping sincerely repentant ones to get back into proper relationship with Jehovah God and his organization, it has been the policy of the Society to permit disfellowshiped persons to be present at all meetings at the Kingdom Hall that are open to the general public. For married persons Jesus set out the proper viewpoint when he said: "Did you not read that he who created them at the beginning made them male and female and said: ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and his mother and will stick to his wife, and the two will be one flesh’? So that they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has yoked together let no man put apart." (Matt. 19:4-6) This rule would seem to apply at the Kingdom Hall as well as elsewhere. In view of this it would seem to be improper to force a separation between a man and his wife even if one or the other is disfellowshiped. This is not having fellowship spiritually on the part of the faithful one with the disfellowshiped partner. However, it would be wrong for the individual who is in good standing to try to force the company of the disfellowshiped mate upon the other brothers and sisters in the congregation in the endeavor to have them recognize the disfellowshiped one and have communion with that one.

    *** w53 4/1 p. 223 Questions From Readers ***

    In this section of the November 15, 1952, Watchtower it was stated: "The faithful marriage partner would not discuss religion with the apostate or disfellowshiped and would not accompany that one to his (or her) place of religious association and participate in the meetings with that one." Does this mean that if the man of the house is disfellowshiped, but attends the meetings at the Kingdom Hall, the faithful members of the family may not ride with him in the family car when he drives there?—O. G., Kansas.No, that is not the point TheWatchtower was making. It said faithful members of the family "would not accompany that one to his (or her) place of religious association and participate in the meetings with that one". Since the disfellowshiped one is no longer a participant in the meetings at the Kingdom Hall, and since it is no longer his rightful place of religious association, he having been disconnected from that association by disfellowshiping, and in attendance at Kingdom Hall now, not by invitation or welcome but by his unwanted intrusion, TheWatchtower was not referring to his coming to Kingdom Hall meetings when it spoke of not accompanying him to his place of religious association. It meant that the faithful one would not accompany the disfellowshiped one to another religious group with which the disfellowshiped one might associate and in whose meetings he might participate. It is all right for the faithful members of the family to ride with the disfellowshiped one in a car bound for the Kingdom Hall, but upon arrival the faithful ones should not sit with or associate with the disfellowshiped one at the hall, but rejoin him only when departing for home.

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    So if you're DF'd / DA'd:

    * JW's in good standing cannot talk to you (they might catch a spiritual disease)

    * DF'd DA'd former JW's cannot talk to you (you might infect each other)

    * Worldly people are bad association too (they might dampen your enthusiasm to return to "God's ark of salvation")

    SO -- this means that the WTS expects you to sit inside the 4 walls of your house and be a HERMIT.

    This amount of attempted control is absolutely SICK.

    As pointed out, one who is DF'd, DA'd , faded - doesn't need to live by the SICK rules of the PHARISEES.

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