Can one man be an Island? Bumping into old workmates - awkward

by needproof 20 Replies latest jw friends

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  Descender

  I can relate. I don't mean to be mean or unkind but when I see almost anyone I know someplace where I have my mind set that I'm there to get in, get what I need, and get out. I try to veer away from them. They will have to be a very good friend for me to want to sidestep my plans to talk with them. I too, think that I'm built in a rather anti-social way.

  After my first wife and I broke up, I had to give it a real effort to go out and socialize. I really didn't like it at first. I seriously didn't know how to talk to people, to make interesting conversation, or how to act around women. I had to hang out with a group of guys for awhile to get back into the swing of being social. I did get into a routine and then it wasn't so bad. Option 1) Go to work, come home, fix myself dinner, and work out, or option 2) go out to the bars and meet up with some aquantances and meet some women. During that stint I met the person who became my new wife. And I thought, whew, that's over. Now I don't have to go out so much.

  But she's a good thing for me, she makes sure that I answer my cell phone when it rings because if she's not there and I hear it ring, I won't answer it 75% of the time. She's also there to make sure that I keep up with my friends. And I really do love her for it, because when I'm out with my friends I really do enjoy myself. But I think I'm the weird kind of person that would have no trouble travelling the world alone, not having any friends except for my dogs, and being pretty much a loner in the world. Luckily I have my wife to make sure that I don't become a hermit. I've just never gotten that lonely feeling that people say they get when they aren't around friends and loved ones. I guess I do a fairly good job entertaining myself.
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  LongHairGal

  Needproof:

  I don't think you are weird at all. I very carefully choose who I will and will not speak to. But, sometimes I can't avoid it, like the person who called out your name. In this case, I would say hello and cut them short with some excuse. I hate superficial conversations, especially the ones with phonies who are trying to impress you. This phony conversation also happens with women who feel they have to impress you. Anybody who tries this hard to impress me must be jealous at some level.

  You feel you are a one-man island. Sometimes I feel like I am a one-woman island but sometimes it is necessary.

  LHG
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  jaguarbass

  What I am trying to say is, how small is your world? I am the kind of person who does a daily routine everyday, avoiding as many people as I can (since I work from home) and only really being sociable to neighbors. I pride myself on kindness and try to do anything for such people, so it is not like I don't like people. I just don't like any influence disturbing my little island or world.

  Am I just weird, or does anybody else feel the same way?

  I think what your saying is you have found your comfort zone, which I think everyone is headed for, looking for. Some are headed you have found it. I hope it last for you, and you have a long run.
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  ringo5

  Most men can be a peninsula...
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  startingover

  I can certainly relate. Interesting was to describe it, as an island.

  My wife is a total social butterfly. When I was a JW, we were always involved in parties of one sort or another. One big thing for her is staging a surprise party (usually anniversary) for friends. Since her sister is the same way, we would be subject to having a party thrown for us when the time came. Now that I've left the JW's, its no longer an issue for me, but at the time I just hated having to deal with that. I don't miss that at all.

  In the past if I happened to notice someone I knew at a store and if they didn't notice me I would quickly take another isle to avoid having to talk to them. It would depend on who the person was, but I probably did it more than not.

  So, I think you are who you are and although it may seem wierd to others, I'm on the island with you, well not the same island, but another island.
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  sass_my_frass

  I can't say I've found myself in that situation. I'm so used to being shunned that if I happen to run into somebody I knew in the distant past I'm very happy to get a response and start a conversation. If the conversation goes down the path of talking about how well the other person is doing, I just agree with them. Where is the harm in that? "Wow, well done! Good for you! That's terrific!" They burn themselves out eventually, or start feeling silly. Chill out bub, not everything is about you.
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  needproof

  Well, some excellent comments made here! Thank you all. I am glad that people can relate to what I am saying.

  I guess I am in my comfort zone and I know that it will not last. Although we always seem to struggle every month with money etc (cue violins) I know that I am in a Utopian time period of my life. I am not naive enough to believe that it will last a great deal of time so I guess I should make the most of it.

  I read each and every one of your comments and thanks for the input.
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  lisavegas420

  There are days when I'd rather not be noticed. I thought that was why they made those really big movie star glasses. I don't know if this would work for you. Just a suggestion.

  lisa
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  ibme

  Enjoyed the many comments.

  It's like you all have been following me around and writing down what I do and say.

  No, I do not believe we are weird, just us.

  Thanks

  IBME
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  needproof

  Well today I alternated my times slightly and took my evening walk at at 6ish. Guess what? I had to bump into 3 people I would not have usually seen otherwise. I know not to make that mistake again!