by new boy 37 Replies latest jw friends
NewBoy,
As the accident victim I would never be selfish enough to trap a person in a situation such as this, when clearly the playing field has changed dramatically. As the non-victim, I would expect my partner to be equally as unselfish. As to those given to sentimentality, those of the beauty is only skin deep' camp, I would love to interview them again, three-hundred bed pans and twenty bed-sores along the way.
HS
No, I couldn't do it. It would break my heart, but I owe it to myself to have as great a life as possible without the major disability that would make it a non-marraige. I am deaf but get by so well that it would not be a burdon on another person. It would be selfish of the majorly DA'd person to expect me to be full time care taker for 50-60+ years. That is not reasonable. I wish that I could say yes I would suffer so much for another for so many years, but let's be real: full time care takers end up in the hospital a lot. They die sooner and have emotional problems more than most. It wreaks one's health. I speak from my gramma's experience. She got very very sick taking care of her two relatives for only three years. It's not healthy. Marraige means more than sex, true. But it does have sex as a factor! The marraige would be strained. Now I'm just waiting for someone with the experience to yell at me. It's ok. That is why I talk straight, besides it being a feature of deaf culture: no holds barred. Chew away. I'm ready
It might be interesting to turn the question around - If you were permanately crippled in an accident would you give your intended a sincere release option or would you use every ounce of your energy to lay a big guilt trip on them and stick like glue?
It may not be so simple as "do you love' someone. people who "love" you can end up abusing you.
nothing is ever that easy.
I would back out of it, but will remain friends. I hope she will understand!
Gregor,
I would probably go through the usual grief sesson and feel horrible about myself but then get over it. I would free the person to marry someone else then go and slit my throat. Am I kidding? Not sure. I hope I never have to find out, but yes, I would free the person. I might become addicted to anti-depressants or some other kind of crutch as that is my personality tilt to handle super super bad things. I have never been in a super super bad thing, though, so not addicted or anything like that.
Nope. I couldn't live with it. No excuses. I just know myself and my own needs and a paraplegic could not fit the bill.
If they were fine with allowing extra-martial affairs I would be fine with it. If they expected me to not enjoy sex because they weren't capable, then that would be quite selfish and would provide me with an answer.
If the situation was flipped, I would try to force them away. I would have such guilt in trying to keep someone to myself for the sole purpose of alleviating my boredom/looking after me without being able to offer them anything in return other than conversation.
You guys and gals. Paraplegics can have sex. I took care of one patient born with spina bifida. He has good upper body strength and his sexual functioning wasn't impaired. I think he said something about wearing his girlfriend out with sex. This is a young guy that I'm speaking about.
http://www.philly.com/dailynews/features/20070329_Good_vibes__Aids_help_paraplegics_have_sex.html
NEW YORK - Nearly 15 years ago David Bucks was extreme skiing in California when an avalanche knocked him down and threw him from a 200-foot cliff onto a rock face. Three of his vertebrae broke into 42 pieces. At 33, Bucks was completely paralyzed below the chest. Once he realized he'd live, he feared that he'd never be able to have sex again. (This is just an excerpt.)
