Is Fading a DF Offense? (page 2)

Gill

Avoid! Avoid! Avoid!

Don't worry! They'll 'forget' about you sooner or later!

penny2

No but don't ever let them catch you with:

A xmas decoration on your door
A xmas tree in the window
Easter eggs in your shopping trolley

You may be branded an apostate and regarded as having disassociated yourself by your actions. That's why some move away after they have faded so they are not known by the local elders.

It's crazy!

OnTheWayOut

I concur with Undercover, Crumpet, and Sir82.

Fading is not a judicial matter. Depression and stress and missing meetings is a sign of spiritual weakness
to them. Doubt is "officially" to be worked with, and the doubter is to be helped.

Unofficially, you can't ever say, "I am never going back" as that is disassociating yourself, the same as them
disfellowshipping you. You can't participate in holidays (openly).

No advice is always the answer. Some elder bodies go hunting for faders, some leave them alone, and some
try to save them from the fade. I assume the worst and prepare for that.

Oh, if your elders are the fader hunter types, they could use a shepherding call to
get you out. All they have to do is ask a few questions, twist their understanding of
the answers you provide- then 2 elders heard you say it. The 2 ask to form a committee
by adding a 3rd elder, the 2 tell him what they understood you to say, you refuse to
meet with them, and they DF you.

If you do meet with them, you have to give the right answers. At the judicial meeting,
you can't decide not to cooperate as that will give them grounds to say their understanding
of what you have said is proof enough that you are apostate. Better to avoid them at the
shepherding level.

My body of elders has avoided me for 6 months now, I will have to switch to avoiding them
when they finally get around to shepherding me.

Fred E Hathaway

So, without mincing words, the answer is YES, it's comparable to being DF'd. Fading is dying, just like leaves do in the fall. Faith without works is dead. Dead limbs are lopped off so as to make room for new growth, and as a warning to those that remain. Whether an announcement is made or not, the reality is the same.

penny2

Whether an announcement is made or not, the reality is the same.

Sorry Fred, to us fading is not dying. It's starting to live. And the reality is different. If you are D/Fd or D/S yourself, your JW family won't speak to you anymore. This has lifelong consequences. If there is a family wedding for example, and one D/F person is going to be there, no JWs will attend. If you've faded, you have no official status and family can continue to associate with you.

Gill

Fading is learning to breathe, think and live freely!

Fading is the kindergarten to adult life and happiness.

Fading is the gradual breaking of ties, bonds and shackles.

Fading is what all Jehovah's Witness, deep inside wish they could do, but dare not ever admit it just incase anyone finds out.

Fading is the stepping stone to freedom, happiness and acceptance.

Fading has given us as a family, everything we always wished for from life.

Fading is a gift you can give yourself and unwrap that gift at your own pace.

moshe

Tell them you think you are coming down with a case of the shingles and don't want to get them sick, too. The elders will leave pronto.

flipper

Dear Sweet Pea and her husband, I'm Flippers husband Mr. Flipper. Want to help you a little. The elders won't DF you for being inactive, or not going to meetings, but as in my case if you have relatives or friends who are witnesses, you have to be careful what you say to them, or they may act as spies and report what you do to the elders. I tried to fade and after 3 and a half years of inactivity the elders still came after me ,accusing me of living with my fiance before marriage. Due to my youngest daughter's and ex-wife's ( ex since 1998) intrusion into my personal life. It caused the elders to pursue someone (me) who had been uninvolved with the organization for 3 and a half years. A bit creepy and sobering, wouldn't you say? That they would view me as that an important entity to bother with is downright weird!!! The elders came after me when all I was trying to do was live a peaceful loving life with my new wife (quietly peacefully) . They kept bothering me even after 6 months of marriage. Finally I got tired of it and threatened them in writing with a lawsuit if they pursued it further and told them not to phone, stalk, or harass my wife or me any further at their own peril. That was 3 weeks ago and have'nt heard from them since ( knock loudly on wood everybody) . So to make a long message longer, sweet pea and her husband my advice is to be firm, don't tell them anything they could use against you and by all means, you need to assess if you have friends or family worth keeping in contact with in that organization, you still need to be discreet and careful as to what you say and to whom you say it to if they are JW's.

flipper

(continued) The old expression, " Anything you say can or will be used against you in a court of law" is true. Especially in a JW kangaroo court where the kangaroos hop around the truth and getthe hangman's noose out for you. I was raised a witness from the early 1960's and know what I'm saying. My dad and older brother are still elders in it. Just make sure your friends and family are worth keeping close to or ask yourself, would they jeopardize your sanity and prospects for a happy life???? Tread water carefully. Mrs. Flipper and I are very happy and we send our unconditional love. Sincerely, Mr. Flipper.

Is Fading a DF Offense?

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