I broke down in tears when I frist came to this board. 20 years to late! Your very fortunate to have made this step at your age. You can heal here a lot faster and find comfort. You have time on your side and the best minds in the business at your fingertips. You can speak your mind and vent your frustrations. Your trials are understood here, better than any place I've ever found.
I cant continue to live like this i really need help
by Tryin2FindAnewMe 48 Replies latest jw experiences
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Mrs Smith
Welcome
It's great to know you're not alone isn't it? I'm sure you will find lots of encouragement and comfort here. Knowledge is power so keep reading check out the "best of'" section, you'll learn so much.
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jgnat
Hi, I was never a JW, but I married one instead. I see a few things happening in your first cry for help.
- You sound a little depressed. You describe everything as going downhill. In real life, it rarely is that bad. So your perception on your situation may be a little off. When your depression lifts, you may see your situation far differently.
- You've had a slow start getting back to college? Take cheer, many have waited far longer than you have. I made a different kind of mistake that still costs me. I got pregnant at sixteen. I am in my forties now, and I still don't have a college education. On the other hand, I have great children, a wonderful grandchild, and a fine career. Who you are inside cannot be taken from you. No matter how many twists and turns your life takes. If you are intelligent and love to learn, you will continue to grow your whole life long.
- Living with regret? This is an easy trap to fall in to. If you DO live with regret, it will only get worse. Because we all make mistakes and we all get older. The weight of what could have been can drag you down. Instead, accept yourself as a fallible human being, and that you make as many mistakes as the next person. It will be your ability to dust yourself off and go on that will mark you as a success.
- You are lonely. I understand that this is common amongst college age students. As others have said, make the effort to join a group of some kind, a group small enough to get to know you and value you as a person.
- You never left Jehovah. You left an organization. I suggest you correct your mom every time she suggests you have left the "truth" or "Jehovah". That might take some of the sting from those words.
- Living up to a parent's expectations? It's a lifetime battle! It might help if you set up your own rituals of self-congratulation when you do an awesome thing. If you come out of a test just knowing you aced it, go out and celebrate. It doesn't matter if it is a divine bit of chocolate or a beer at the bar, take some time to give a gift to yourself, knowing you've done good. There's something that literally happens to our brain chemistry when we reward our successes. I think we can teach ourselves to be winners. Give it a try.
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mouthy
((((((((((((((((((((Tryin2FindAnewMe))))))))))))))))))))
Welcome !!! as Granny on board ..& an ex JW ---(I was one for 25 years) I am going to tell you if you hang in life will get better .I remember when they threw me out because I dont believe Jesus came invisably in 1914,I felt JUST like you. Wanted to kill myself. I felt that Jehovah had chucked me off the ARK,,, I have since learned that ark is made up of old men at Brooklyn who have followed men, starting with Russell. So do take deep breaths when that dispair comes upon you ,,I KNOW in time you will look back to this day & say "Thank God I am free of bondage" I dont know where you are in a relationship with the Creator but I love Jesus ......And feel more things are wrought by prayer then this world dreams so if you would permit
"Father this little one is going through the deep valley, I ask you to send the Comforter along beside her to help her through this difficult time. We all listened to men, thinking they were directed by you, Now we find out we were listening to false prophets.So direct her step, help her to KNOW your promise that you will not leave her or forsake her. I ask it in the name above ALL others Jesus Christ Amen"And I didnt have to cover my head to pray ....You can talk to GOD anywhere ,rememeber that ((HUG))
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needproof
Hi,
I know exactly how you feel. Once you leave the WT, it gets ever so lonely. People that have never experienced life in the Witnesses haven't got a clue about what it is like, they just dont get it. But we do get it, so stick here for a while because everybody here understands what you are saying.
Don't let the WT win, fight them and take back your life. I nice book you may want to read about this is 'Combating Cult mind control' by Steven Hassan. He is a great author and his books are superb. Another of his is 'Releasing the Bonds'. These helped me and still do when I feel low.
I am not full of great advice and wish I could give you a miracle cure to help you. Just stay strong and keep posting here, we want to hear from you. Read some of the experiences by people on here in the 'experiences' section, they really help. We have all been through so much, but you are with friends now.
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ex-nj-jw
Oh sweetie (((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))))))
It's never too late to go back to school. Take a few minutes to regroup and see what you really want out of life, career, self growth, self esteem and confidence. You are young and still have a full life ahead of you.
You can work and go to school, there are so many programs out there for you, you just have to get motivated, Dig a hole for all that JW crap, and start living!!!!!
I hope you stay here and get some much needed support and advise for your friends at JWD. FYI I went back to school at age 38 got my Nursing degre, Masters in Nursing and I also hold a radiology degree and license!!!
nj
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purplesofa
you are a very sweet person.
Things will get better I am sure.
The board is tremendous support.....Welcome here.
purps
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bluebell
(((trying2finda newme)))
things DO get better. Your goal is to become an ex ex-JW! that's a great goal.
as you are quite young are there any advisory teams around who can help you get back on track? i know in the uk, every year after a-levels come out some radio stations advertise a freephone number for people who didnt get the grades they expected and to advise them on next steps, advisors in the local colleges/uni's who can help the "mature" student and the citizens advice bureau if you dont know where to start finding out stuff.
Not quite the same over there i know but maybe there are just as many helpful stuff if you know where to look?
Plus going to uni that little bit later is sometimes a good thing - you appreciate what you're learning and the opportunity you have. there are loads of mature students in the uk (ie going to college/uni at 19+) so im sure you'd find the same in the US.
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geevee
Welcome.........
You say you have been out for two years? I liked Junction-Guys reminder, that you have left an organization, not necessarily God. Find some ex-jw friends. Maybe you even know others who have left before you. At the time, you view their leaving in the JW context. Who knows wht they really left. Maybe they had their eyes opended and are in a position to be able to assist you?
Hang in there............ -
Crumpet
Big hugs and welcome sweetie.
Like Tyrone said above:
I broke down in tears when I frist came to this board. 20 years to late! Your very fortunate to have made this step at your age. You can heal here a lot faster and find comfort. You have time on your side and the best minds in the business at your fingertips. You can speak your mind and vent your frustrations. Your trials are understood here, better than any place I've ever found.
I came here after having left the dubs (JWS) at 16 physically but never mentally when I was in my late twenties. Guess what I am starting school now - nearly 14 years later than I should have. I'm taking a BA Hons course in social sciences potentially specialising in criminology. None of my family speak to me - not a single one. But it helps so much knowing that I haven't done anything wrong, not by God, not by them, not by the organisation. Now I understand that none of it was true and that I am the lucky one as my family are all trapped in a shadow life believing in a future that isn;t going to happen whilst the wish away their only lives - I feel so damn lucky. You my dear are very very lucky although I know it doesnt feel like it. You are only 19. Go back and see what the college/uni can offer you. They may be very sympathetic and be able to help you follow up your skills and talents with some sort of subsidy. I have even just been given a modest one myself which doesnt cover living costs or anything, but it helps with the books and materials and tuition I need. Your life is just beginning. Take you time to absorb what is here .Question absolutely everything you read. This is a skill as raised JWs we haven;t learnt very well. The more you question the more you will prove to your own satisfaction what you believe and this will help you cultivate the "new me" you seek so much. I've recently made friends with a wonderful girl who is a few years older than you on this board, she has only just become inactive and only now realised that she lost her youth pioneering a message that was corrupt and a lie. It is heart breaking - it makes me cry, but I also want you to know that you are young enough to carve out a great life for yourself. I like to think that somewhere deep down my parents will be proud of my achievements one day - maybe when they are in their 80's or 90's and the reality that they gave their lives to a publishing company all for nothing finally hits them. I hope I can keep my heart soft enough not to turn them away if that happens and be a better daughter than they have been parents. Now practicalities - I don't have a clue where in US Maryland is, but there are aposta fests regularly where we all meet up all over the world and enjoy each others company over a picnic or a meal. Maybe you can find your way to one of these. There is a big one in May in Dallas and I am flying over from England to meet everyone. Hugs again - so good to have you here. Ask all the questions you need to. Someone will usually try to answer - and more often than not you will get 20 different answers to any problem or query - some funny, some spot on, some serious.