ok im trying desperatley just to be done with everything. I'm so depressed because it feels as though i'm living my life wrong. Why cant i get from under the dark cloud, that keeps me down. I just want to forget that part of my life and move on. Why is it so hard? I cant carry on life normally. i just to be done with it. i had a full scholarship to UCLA but because i was pushed i the direction of advancing in the kingdom work i turned it down and cant stop kicking myself for that. so now im trying to get into school and its so hard. not to mention the hurt pain and strain my leaving jehovah has put on my mother i dont know what to do. I've been on my own for almost 2 years now and it just gets worse. I just need someone to understand me. none of my friends do and its just really lonely. Can anyone please help me?
I cant continue to live like this i really need help
by Tryin2FindAnewMe 48 Replies latest jw experiences
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Merry Magdalene
{{{{{hugs tryin2find}}}}} Slow down now...and breathe...breathe...
You're in a safe space. There are lots of people here who can understand just what you're going through. You are young and time is on your side and so are we. I know it's hard to start completely over at any age though and I feel for you. Just sit back for a little bit and breathe and read and know that people have been down this road ahead of you and are making it just fine. Things really do get better eventually.
Keep talking...
~Merry
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Tyrone van leyen
I understand that scenario completly. You sure arn't alone there. My dad always wanted us to go to university as he had done before he was a witness but in the 80's they discouraged it very much. It was a neverending conflicting message. They try to direct your life and get you to buy into there dream and there game instead af yours.
The witnesses had sanctioned my life into non existence and I just couldn't take it anymore and flipped out. I was so disturbed when they gave me the boot The next 20 years were wasted and I am now 40. It takes a long time to heal from that useless crap. The end didn't come and my father offered me university and college but I was too disturbed and carried too much baggage to handle it.
I'm beside myself with rage, depression and regrets. Thats what the watchtower does to many people. I've had a rough hall. Cheer up though! This board is a great source of comfort and knowlegde much healing and understanding comes from this board. There is a pletora of talents here. I wish you well and welcome to the board!
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Arthur
Welcome
You will find that there are so many of us who have experiences very similar to your own. There are many of us who wasted many years of our lives in useless JW busy-work. There are many of us who gave up college educations just as you did.
I strongly suggest that you find an ex-jw meetup or group that meets somewhere in your area. This can be a huge help; especially when it comes to making new friends.
The emotional hardships of leaving the organization can be extremely difficult. Many of us here have gone through them and continue to do so. I suggest you stick around this forum for some time. You can find really good support and resources on this site.
Be patient with yourself. You probably have many unanswered questions and uncertainties of which you feel like you must get answered. Realize that leaving an organization like the JWs is very difficult and will require time to sort through your thoughts and feelings. Like I said, I think that this website is an excellent place to begin. It has helped me enormously. Stick around and get to know some people here. There are a lot of people here who will be a huge help and can become good friends.
I wish you the best and welcome.
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Tryin2FindAnewMe
ok *breathe* thanks. thank u so much i've been reading other posts and its really amazing im sure ill learn alot and hopefully get better thanks so much
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Junction-Guy
You didnt necessarily leave Jehovah, you left an organization that claimed him as their God. Find you a support group, and keep reading the posts on this board. What you are experiencing is not unique, and many people have been in your situation before.
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Rabbit
Tryin2...
Welcome to the forum ! You sound like you've been thru the wringer...but, keep reading here. You'll find many people with many experiences and stories of loss and heartbreak as they left the 'Truth ™'. But, as you'll find, most people are much happier with the freedom they gain.
Almost all of us have lost a lot of family due to shunning. It's difficult, but, you'll find support and friends who really understand here.
Glad you found us !
Rabbit
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Abandoned
((((((((((((((((((((Tryin2FindAnewMe))))))))))))))))))))
It's hard at first, but you've come to the right place. Stick around here and you'll make friends among people who have not only been where you are now, but made it to the sunshine beyond.
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BlackPearl
You can do it, many here before have done it. Don't EVER say you can't do it....you can.
BP
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Tryin2FindAnewMe
thank u so much. ill try2 find a group that meets in my area and keep reading it feels really comforting to see how many there are and how helpful. i never thought id find anything like this its helping me already by just giving me hope