when i read this i cried. is this how my mother felt/feels about me? i left home after my mother and i not getting along be it rules, or her not accepting my homosexual lifestyle. have u tried talking to her? it might seem as though it does nothing but believe me it does. Whats stronger than words is a card. i still have the card my mother gave me while we were going through our war. It said no matter what she still loved me. That means so much to me down to this day. Dont worry you're not the only hurting she is believe me but she'll come around. just be there when she does
Broken Heart
by jillbedford 68 Replies latest jw experiences
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Warlock
Jill,
I don't know whether this will help you at this point, but I determined WHO my daughter was more like, me or my wife, and raised her accordingly. Turns out, she is more like my mom. Funny how I'm more like my grandmother and father than my mother.
Sometimes you just have to swallow your tongue, adjust your rules, and let your children live their own lives. I told my daughter at a young age that there were certain things that were unacceptable, but no matter what, she would always have freedom of speech, but no profanity. I also told her that just because she had freedom of speech, it didn't mean that I agreed with her position.
So far, she has been a very good child, even through her teenage years. I also told her about MY life, which helped her to see what a lucky girl she was, even if she was brought up a JW.
Maybe you need to examine what YOU have or have not done and have a heart to heart with your daughter. Another thing that I did, a few times, is apologize to her for MY imperfections and shortcomings as a parent.
I hope I have not offended you, but sometimes as parents we need to take an HONEST look in the mirror.
Another thing, when it comes to our children, "Love above all. Don't just say it, show it".
Warlock
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ex-nj-jw
As far as my husband goes, does anyone have much sex after age 35 anyway? Aren't we past the prime for that?
Where did you get that from???? Sex is better after 35!!!!
Get rid of the emotional baggage, make your daughter responsible for her actions and get your life back!!
nj
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jillbedford
The daughter has not attended a day of school since she stormed out on 3-15.
I called the school today to let them know she is staying with her Dad.
I have spoken to an attorney and he advises I assign custody to the ex. I know him. He will not accept this responibility. The other option is he pays up on all the back child support, which totals over $15,000. If he does not pay he will go to jail.
If I do not make get the daughter back in school I will have to go to jail.
Sounds like a standoff.
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Sparkplug
Jill, I am sorry that you have to go through this. I know I left at 14 and even though it was with good reason I am sure it had to have some hurt inflicted back unto my mom. For that I do feel bad. Now that my girl is 15 I am ready to just loose it some days. She really is a great kid but once in a bit she pulls these stunts and they are NOTHING compared to what you are dealing with. I know your heart must be breaking. All I can say is that there always is a day that we realize what we have done or are doing and hopefully you have made it so clear to her and continue to as to how much you love her. She will remember that.
Decki
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Avecnoir
Hi Mouthy and thank you for the welcome, just wish it was under better circumstances. It's not easy being a parent, but our children are a gift bestowed upon us. I see too many children in the streets to accept the excuses I hear from parents today. Everything in this life is hard. Do we really want the streets raising our children though? Yes, I am blunt in my opinions, but not perfect. You can't even buy a cup of coffee with my opinion. However it takes a strong person to raise children today. That doesn't always mean through tough love. I feel for Broken Heart as a woman, but it's time for her to get real. Jehovah created both of them and he doesn't make mistakes. He does however test us..........ummm
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Frannie Banannie
If I do not make get the daughter back in school I will have to go to jail.
JB, in this case, you should follow your attorney's advice and if your ex refuses to accept responsibility, then speak (perhaps you should do this before speaking with the ex) with the truant officer and tell them the situation, then keep the school authorities in the loop on the situation. It's CYA time, legally speaking.
Hope this helps.
Frannie
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rosalyn
Is anyone in a position to explain what kind of legislation has been passed that would require Jill to go to jail because her daughter is not attending school? What country would this be?
Welcome aboard avec noir. You didn't mince your words. Are you still in the organization or have you managed to exit?
Jill I hope you are coping. You have already had my viewpoint but I do want you to know that I am thinking about you and hoping that something positive is resolved. Might take awhile. Someone made the comment about your daughter's feelings as well. I am sure this goes through your heart and mind.
rosalyn
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aSphereisnotaCircle
My huisbeand is not gay but he does not care for me. He does like some of the runner females who are faster than me. I am working hard to lose weight. Maybe I can be as fast as them one day. I run a solid 10 minute mile but maybe I could lose more weight and run a 6 minute mile and win my age division. The overall race winners run a 4 minute mile so I know that would not be possible,. But if I were to lose 50 lbs maybe I could make an inmression on my husband and he would be interested in "that way". Otherwise, I know I am too old and heavy.
Jill, this is not normal, this is the saddest thing i have read in a long time. Losing more weight and running faster will not fix things with your husband.
Please, seek couseling.
I mean this in the kindest way, you are treating yourself very badly, and their must be a reason why.