Broken Heart

by jillbedford 68 Replies latest jw experiences

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe
    As far as my husband goes, does anyone have much sex after age 35 anyway? Aren't we past the prime for that?

    OMG, Nooooo!!! Tell me its not so!!!

    ~runs off to check if its still working~

    Mouthy:

    ..I still know its not to stir my tea with

    You're a very naughty granny... but I like ya

  • jillbedford
    jillbedford

    Dear Little Toe,

    As you know fro, being a witness, sometimes things don't turn out as you expected.

    From what I have found, after age 32 or so, if you are interested in only having sex with one who is interested in you, forget it. You are too old and too past your prime.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    It sounds like someone needs a dose of "wake up and hit the confidence boosters".

    You're not yet 40, keep in good shape, are responsible and work hard. You're not dead - maybe its time to remind yourself of that fact...

  • jillbedford
    jillbedford

    I know in all honesty that I am a very sexy woman. The picture I post is me and I look like that. But life is not entirely all about sex is about finding some kind of happiness, right?

    My huisbeand is not gay but he does not care for me. He does like some of the runner females who are faster than me. I am working hard to lose weight. Maybe I can be as fast as them one day. I run a solid 10 minute mile but maybe I could lose more weight and run a 6 minute mile and win my age division. The overall race winners run a 4 minute mile so I know that would not be possible,. But if I were to lose 50 lbs maybe I could make an inmression on my husband and he would be interested in "that way". Otherwise, I know I am too old and heavy.

  • SixofNine
    SixofNine

    therapy, posthaste.

  • rosalyn
    rosalyn

    Yes Grace you are a naughty granny and I really can see you driving a pink RV

    what am I talking about?

    go the personal experience and reunions ----veronica_mars-----"back again after all these years"

    BROKEN HEART You have had a great deal of kindness, support and love given to you today. It's been several years since being on this site and I don't know you. Maybe I will look at things differently when the sun sets and rises again.

    rosalyn

  • prophecor
    prophecor
    I run a solid 10 minute mile

    No one who can run a 10 minute mile could possibly be out of shape or overweight. If thats really you on the screen JB, guys are probably banging away at the door of your heart, desperately trying to get your attention.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    • Age is an attitude of mind
    • Weight is a preference
    • Sexiness - well, you know when you've got it going on

    A marriage without sex for over five years seems pretty dysfunctional, to be brutally honest. I expect that when I hit my 80s I'll still know its not for stirring coffee with, altzeimers or not!

    As Six says - get thee therapy post-haste. You are tolerating something that appears to have eroded your self esteem. Fix that and maybe your relationship with your daughter will get some perspective, too. Meanwhile she's nearly an adult and has her own choices and mistakes to make. It sounds like your ex needs to enjoy the pleasures of parenting a teenager for a while, anyhow

  • SPAZnik
    SPAZnik

    (((jillbedford)))

    I should probably leave it at that, but your post touched me on a few levels, so I'm going to commiserate a bit....

    'If you love someone, set them free.'

    I imagine it's a year or two sooner than you were anticipating and comes as a bit of a shock to the system and a blow to the ego.

    For what it's worth, you're not alone. I googled "my daughter is leaving home" and found a couple threads with some great comments, compassion and humour:
    http://community.southernliving.com/archive/index.php?t-3042.html
    http://ph.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070314104449AALYY1x
    http://www.emptynestmoms.com/index.html

    I empathize with kids in broken families. I'm of the opinion that kids really do need a relationship with both parents. I don't know your ex, but on the bright side, choosing to go to another parent is better than so many other options, generally speaking. :) I agree with the comment made that she will probably learn that living with her dad isn't everything she hopes/expects. I bet dad's in for a shock himself. (hehe.) From the sounds of it, it's time he pulled some day-to-day weight! It may do them both some good. :) (One can always hope).

    I sympathize with people experiencing a newfound "empty nest". All the hopes and fears and pains and "now what" that come with it. (I'm not seen socially as a genetic mother (except by mothers who know my circumstances). The eldest child from a broken/single parent family myself, I was thrust into (and willingly accepted) shared guardianship responsibility for my siblings from a very young age. Recently, finally seeing my "kids" both married with kids of their own, and doing well...just about unraveled me altogether, with Relief. I'm not seen socially as a genetic mother, and though I caught glimpses along the way, I didn't fully realize (until my spine muscles literally started unwinding) how deeply I carried that "mother hen" concern around with me through all the ups and downs as a result my families life circumstances. Of course it's early for your daughter and you're not quite there yet but I can relate to some of the emotions you describe)

    This is a major life changing event (on top of everything else you've been coping with). I hope you will compassionately allow yourself the emotions. Read up on change management? Get support from as many sources as you can right now. Stay in touch with your doctor.

    Sounds like an opportunity to take care of YOU for a bit as well as to get creative with how to reshape/define this changing relationship/your role with your daughter as well as give some attention to your marital relationship and your own overall happiness. What a shift in gears hey.

    Time to regroup and create some new happy memories for yourself. :)

    Hang in der, momma bear.

    I salute you.

    SPAZnik

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    Little Toe inquiring minds like to know ???/runs off to check if its still working~Is it????

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