Welcome Emily to the JWD forum. You have received a lot of excellent input from others.
I agree. There are red flags waving all over the place. You deserve better.
Thinking about all the crap I have gone through really makes me feel like a total idiot. I must have issues of my own to be willing to deal with this. But I love this guy and want so badly to help him. I keep thinking how will I feel if I give up on him and then see him out and about with some other woman who was able to stick it out and stand by him and help him through this. I don't want to give up on him.
Don't get so down on yourself Emily. You are being a rescuer and an enabler by allowing him to continue to reel you in and make you feel that he needs you to make him happy. Don't feel you should rescue all the unhappy people out there. That is not your "job".
With people like this - no matter how long you may want to stick it out w/them to "help" them - if they aren't up to the task of fixing their own problems if will never happen. Do you want to spend your life trying "to change" him so that you are happy? I promise you - it will never happen. If some other gal wants this job you should thank god you were smart enough to walk away from it.
There are plenty of wonderful guys out there who do not want to be controling, but a support and a friend to you.
Take care and I hope you take to heart the advice of others who have been through it or are familiar w/these types. You'll save yourself a lot of heartache.