by avidbiblereader 106 Replies latest watchtower scandals
everytime I would just picture my mate with that other person
that can be a lot of fun!
Joking aside I think you went through an awful experience. But is it the actual act of sex that upsets people here? Or is it the deceit and dishonesty? For me it would be being deceived that would hurt the most. This is why I always fess up and I've also learnt that delaying of the fessing up hurts more. Of course it is better not to do it in the first place but .... lying about it is much worse!
It depends on if he lied to me or if he felt bad about it and came out with the truth. It also depends on if he loved her or if it was a one night stand. And I know this might sound odd but before I could forgive, I want to sit in the room and watch them do it one more time. I want her to face me and I don't want to "imagine it" ... I want to face the problem head on.
Either I have been through enough in my life or most of those posting here are a lot stronger than me, don't know which one, but for those that can forgive, I give you a lot of credit.
abr
too much of a painful subject for me to answer - there was a thread about this 3 years ago
It depends if it was habitual or the one off thing and if it happened under conditions of intense sexual frustration eg if I was away for a while, because let's face it under such pressure anything can happen.
abr - i'm just being realistic. People make mistakes. That isn't necessarily a reflection of how much they love and respect you. An affair is not a one off mistake and I couldnt forgive this. If you really really love someone and they were really really sorry how could you not forgive them. ouAlso what if you were the one that made the mistake - wouldnt you hope that your partner loved you enough to forgive you. I always used to say I couldnt forgive it, but as I loved more with my heart and less with my loins I knew that I would and I could. Not saying there wouldnt be some discipline and suffering - but all in good humour!
reneorym - you are crazy honey!
to all those men here on JWD that wouldn't even think of cheating, you are a rare breed, and I hope your partners appreciate you!
Likewise to all the loyal women here - hope your men appreciate you too!
I couldn't forgive her...I was my wifes first love ...and she would know how bad I was in bed when she compared....he he
Crumpet, I see where you are coming from, sort of, but just as a budget it is easier said then done. Yes I love my wife and obviously in a marriage there is a lot of forgiveness that goes on, but the thought of her with another man is more than my little mind could stand to bear, I have seen enough let downs in life and another in this fashion would just sour me too much.
As far as cheating on her, I don't even entertain it, I love her and took a commitment to her and God, I am not saying that I am above and beyond falling, but if I ever did, I couldn't face her and she would have every right to do and say whatever she could about me. I would feel like the lowest thing that ever walked the earth, I dont think I could ever ask her to forgive me.
I remember in my past marriage, my ex would randomly withhold sex for weeks and months at a time, I am not saying physically I didn't want to cheat ands had many many opportunites but mentally and spiritually I just couldnt, THANK GOD SHE LEFT AND FILED FOR THE DIVORCE.
As I said Crumpet, there are many here who are stronger and apparently more forgiving than I, perhaps this an area that I need to work on, but still don't know if I could ever apply it to marital infidelity. I remember the hurt from the past and the only thing that kept me there was my daughter, she is now 22 and there would be no need to stay.
abr
to all those men here on JWD that wouldn't even think of cheating, you are a rare breed, and I hope your partners appreciate you!
Thanks for the thought but I just cannot imagine inflicting this much hurt on another, to crush another and know and watch them sitting there with tears and a broken heart. I would rather be celibate first, I would be a horny celibate but celibate nonetheless.
I guess that is why it is better to keep working on the marriage and keep things fresh and invigorating in many different ways, it comes down to respect and honoring the other.
abr
